Shabbat - A Time for Reflection

We slept in Saturday morning (and loved every minute of it). Having decided to participate in the Reconstructionist minyan meeting at HUC (Hebrew Union College) just a block away from our hotel (the Eldan), we got up in time for a quick breakfast here at the hotel before we left.

As we entered the gate at HUC, we could hear the singing wafting out into the entrance courtyard. A gentleman noticed our hesitation as we tried to figure out where the sound was coming from and asked if we were looking for the services. We answered affirmatively and he directed us in through a door and up a flight of steps.

As we approached, the sound of voices raised in song and joy swelled. We were greeted at the door and quickly found two adjacent seats on the right in the almost-filled room. As we settled in, I looked around and discovered - much to my delight - that a rabbi I'd worked with in the Washington area was davening just a couple of rows ahead! Ever since we'd planned this trip, friends had said to us - "You'll run into people you know, even if you don't think you'll know anyone in Jerusalem." Last night, it was Mark - today it was Rabbi Steve. It is truly a small world we live in!

In short order, I realized that the service was not the Reconstructionist one we'd hoped to attend, but rather a Reform one. Although initially disappointed (we'd hoped to connect with Charlie and Marilyn and a couple of others we thought might be there), we found ourselves absolutely uplifted by the singing, the communal participation and interaction, and the drash/words of Torah.

The drash was given by someone who's name we never quite caught. Obviously knowledgeable, he also had the gift of being a magnificent speaker. In short, his message for the day was threefold: 1) Don't look for the short cuts in your journeys (metaphorical or actual); 2) Stuff happens when you don't expect it to; and 3) It's not all about me.

Woven into his talk were references to the three weeks of mourning leading up to Tisha B'Av; Israeli current events [he cited the part from the Torah portion that delinates the Israelites' 42 stops from Egypt to Canaan and referenced the "pauses" to parking lots: a hot issue among the Haredi in Jerusalem these weeks]; some discussion of repetitions of specific words and inversions - and the interpretation he took from them; and allusions to the science fiction classic "The Fantastic Voyage" (made into a movie in 1966 starring Raquel Welch) to both begin and end his remarks.

Our experience with this community was absolutely what we needed this morning - and a good example of the "stuff happens when you don't expect it to!"

We caught the tail end of our hotel's brunch for our lunch and then came up to the room. After a nap, Neal went out to explore some more - I decided to stay in (in the a/c) and process some of the thoughts rolling around in my head after our visit to the Old City yesterday.

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It's taken me a bit of time to be able to articulate some of the thoughts and feelings rolling around in my head as we walked through parts of the Old City yesterday - especially our visit to the Kotel.

When Neal and Arnie joined me near the women's section, Arnie mentioned that he's observed over time that the impact of being in the Old City and at the Kotel doesn't always arrive instantaneously - and it's not always a religious impact. For some, he said, the impact is historical; for some it's religious; for some it's a sense of connection among people. I appreciated his comments immensely, because

[Deep breath here]

being at the Kotel left me cold.

My ability to participate fully in our people's "people-ness" is denied to me by the ultra-Orthodox who refuse to accept the signatures on my conversion papers.

Despite my attempts to undergo an "acceptable conversion," one of the rabbis who partipated in my bet din did not sign my papers before he left the mikvah that day. My papers instead include two "acceptable" signatures and the third is of my converting rabbi, Rabbi Eugene J. Lipman, z"l. I knew the instant I saw the papers, that my conversion would not be accepted. Neal and I subsequently arranged for our children to undergo a ritual immersion and conversion with acceptable signatores. I was proud that Gene's signature is on my certificate, but at the same time I didn't want to deprive my children of their Right of Return.

So here we are, 28 years later. Without boasting, I think I can honestly own that I've made signification contributions to our Jewish communal life, through my work as an educator, an administrator, a Jewish parent, a role model and a participant in the work of trying to bring repair to the world around us.

As I participated in the IEI (Israel Educators Institute) program these past 15 months, I've struggled with how I am perceived by segments of our people. It makes me angry. It makes me sad. It hurts.

But most of all, I don't understand why "the rest of us" - Conservative, Reform, Reconstructionist, Renewal - and all other Jews who don't choose to affilitate - allow a numerically small number of people to define who we are and how we are.

When did we cede the right to self-identification?

Or do we subconsciously agree that we "are not Jewish enough" -- allowing others to define the "enough?"

Prejudice and bigotry are ugly - even more so when practiced by one group of Jews against others and done in the name of the Eternal.

Oseh shalom bimromav, hu ya-aseh shalom. Aleinu v'al kol Israel. V'imru: Amen.

Our Friday Experiences

Friday morning, Neal and I were fortunate to get a personal tour of the Old City by Arnie Draiman. Among other things, Arnie is the Mitzvah Heroes Fund’s Israeli agent. He identifies worthwhile recipients of tzedakah funds, does the due diligence critical to ensure that monies are spent wisely and efficiently, and – in general – helps us keep on top of things. His participation in Mitvah Heroes is critical in helping us achieve our goal of getting the funds people donate to us to beneficiaries in the most timely manner possible. Arnie’s also the guru who designed and maintains our website. So here’s a huge shout-out to Arnie: You rock!

Arnie met us at our hotel at 8:00 am and we cabbed to the Jaffa Gate. At that time, it was still fairly quiet in the Old City. Arnie pointed out some of the defensive characteristics built into the walls – the slits between the stones that enabled the watchmen to see who was approaching; the stone wall behind the wood gates, which necessitated a sharp right turn in order to enter the city – defenders could easily pick off their attackers before the latter were able to completely enter the city.

We began our tour in the Christian Quarter – the streets were narrow; the stone paths the original ones laid so many years ago. In many of the streets, the sun didn’t penetrate. While that made it dark – it also made it much cooler. Arnie took us to the Church of the Holy Sepulchre – which encompasses the last three of the twelve Stations of the Cross, the burial site of Jesus, and where the shroud of Turin was laid to prepare Jesus’ body for burial. The church is currently maintained by a number of Catholic orders (I think six, but now can’t remember exactly), each one of which has responsibility for the upkeep and care of a specific portion of the Church grounds.

We walked into one nook where a priest was reciting Mass in English – and I unexpectedly found myself mentally responding as he recited some of the call-and-response prayers. Arnie said it was unusual to hear the Mass in English – I assured him had the prayers been in Latin, I would have also been able to respond. (It’s funny what memories get burned into one’s psyche from an early age.) As we were leaving the Christian Quarter, we saw a man carrying a cross, re-enacting the last steps of Jesus. Just a few steps later, we bought our first souvenirs in the old city from a vendor who gave us a special blessing for being his first customers of the day!

We walked along the outside of the Armenian Quarter next, with Arnie explaining that since the Armenians were the first nation of people to accept Jesus, they were granted their own quarter in the Old City as a reward.

The Cardo is along the “border” between the Armenian Quarter and the Jewish Quarter. It’s an excavation site originally uncovered after a Syrian farmer discovered an ancient map in his field. The map was so detailed that the authorities were certain that under the then-current layer of the city was the Cardo, with its pillars and its original shop stalls still remaining. The Cardo was a main street, running from north to south from the Roman and Byzantine eras. Arnie explained, “In Jerusalem, people don’t own the land beneath their houses, they only own their houses.” We got to meet a wine shop owner, who Arnie knows, who has done some mitzvah work in the past.

Arnie had a mitzvah stop to make along the way – and we were glad to be able to accompany him: delivering hearing aid batteries to an elderly, blind holocaust survivor living in the Jewish Quarter.

One of the most striking differences between the Christian and Armenian Quarters and the Jewish Quarter, to me, was that the Jewish Quarter was more open, less closed in (less claustrophobic?) and consequently, brighter/sunnier than the other two. I asked Arnie why that was. He responded that when Jerusalem was reunified in 1967, the Jewish Quarter needed to be rebuilt from scratch.

Our next stop was the Kotel – the Eastern Wall. It’s the only remaining wall from the Second Temple (expanded by Herod in 20 BCE) and built on the site of the First Temple, built by King Solomon. It’s been a sacred site for Jews throughout the millennia – a place to worship, to ask for special favors from the Almighty, and the destination for Jews who promise each other at the end of the Passover Seder/meal: “Next year, in Jerusalem.”

Although we didn’t go into the Muslim Quarter, Arnie pointed out the Dome of the Rock, with its golden dome designed to protect the rock from which Muhammad left the earth. This same rock is believed to be the place where Abraham almost sacrificed his son Isaac.

Arnie also pointed out the Al-Aqsa Mosque, with its silver dome, where Anwar Sadat worshipped in his ground-breaking visit to Israel to meet with Menachem Begin in November 1977; the Mount of Olives and the cemetery there; and the Arab homes outside the Old City.

We left about 11:00, just as it was beginning to get warmer and busier and returned to our hotel.

After a short rest, and a quick lunch at the Village Green (our second visit in two days – the food is THAT good), we hiked up to Ben Yehuda street to take in the sights and buy some souvenirs (t-shirts and Ahava cream). Much to our delight, we ran into Charlie and Marilyn Bernhardt! We’d known they were going to be here at the same time we were, so it wasn’t a total surprise, but it was great fun anyway.

We ambled back to our hotel, rested some more, and then took a cab to Steve Kerbel’s for a yummy Shabbat dinner with Steve, a friend of Steve’s daughter, and Mark Novak – a talented musician, studying for the rabbinate through the Renewal movement, who happens to be in Jerusalem for several weeks. Mark and his wife Renee (who’s a storyteller extraordinaire) are old friends – they played at our children’s b’nai mitzvah celebrations over 14 and 12 years ago, respectively. An evening filled with energizing conversation, music, good friends and delicious food – a fitting beginning to our day of rest.

Needless to say, we slept well Friday night!

Thursday Afternoon

Did you ever have something happen in the middle of the day (or week or whatever) where you thought, "This was so wonderful, nothing can match it or even top it?"

It often seems to me that bad/difficult/sad things come in twos or threes (or sometimes more), but good things seem to come as single events. I once asked a rabbinic colleague why that might be and he supposed that the bad things are an abberation and once they begin, we seem to be more attuned to additional ones. Haven't yet decided if I agree with him or not.....

Anyhow, I digress.

Thursday afternoon was just as rich and mind-bending as Thursday morning was.

After we left the Rabbanit, Steve, Neal and I went with a group from Congregation Olam Tikvah in Faifax, Virginia to visit Meled. Founded in 1997 by Dr. Menachem Gottesman, Meled is an Alternative Dati (Religious) High School for New Beginnings. Dr. Gottesman says, "Our students have dropped out or have been ejected from traditional educational settings due to a variety of reasons; some of our students have had difficulty in dealing with the academic rigors of high school while others have issues of substance abuse, anti-social behavior, have been abused or come from dysfunctional home settings." Meled students learn to "drop in" and, when they are ready, they learn to value learning for its own sake, not for the ability to pass the exit exams.

Menachem describes his school as a "cardiac care unit" - he and his staff teach the students that they are loved and valued and trusted. In turn, that helps the students learn to love and value and trust again. Until the hearts are mended, the kids aren't available for learning.

He talked about the difference between Meled and other high schools in Israel: at Meled, the program and curriculum are "child-centered:"

At Meled we convey acceptance, continuously, of youths who have experienced alienation at school and, possibly, at home. We provide choice: each student decides what he or she can realistically undertake to learn, under the guidance of the school's professional staff. We encourage being part without forcing the issue. We reward with love each student's showing up. We respect differences. We affirm Jewish values.

As Menachem spoke, my eyes filled with tears. As he shared his students' individual stories, I saw pictures in my mind's eye of kids I've known. From my earliest years as a social worker (where my caseload consisted of abused and neglected children), through my years as a teacher and then a director - there have been children I've worked with at each of those points, who hungered for acceptance and sometimes who had learned to push people away before they could be pushed away.

I've seen the pain in their eyes as we've tried to make these "square pegs" fit into our "round holes." In order to fit, they must "shave off" parts of who they are - and, in doing so, begin to doubt their worth. "If they really knew what I was like," the thinking goes, "they wouldn't like me."

Menachem Gottesman and his staff refuse to allow kids to be thrown away.

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When Menachem heard where Steve and I were going next, he smiled. "Do you know Caryn?" one of us asked. "Do I know Caryn?" he repeated. "Of course I know Caryn - we work with some of the same kids!"

"Caryn" is Caryn Green. Eight years ago, Caryn started Crossroads. Crossroads works with English-speaking kids who are in trouble. Some are abused, some are runaways, some use drugs. Many are kids who were just not able to make the transition from the English-speaking communities they were born into and the Hebrew-speaking communities they found themselves in when their parents made aliyah. Almost all the Crossroads kids are from traditionally observant families.

Where did Caryn meet these kids? On the street, where they hang out. How does she get the to come to Crossroads? She doesn't "get them to come" - she offers help: a place to hang out, to listen to music, to eat, to talk to someone, to be. Because they've gotten to know her and trust her on the streets, they feel safe in asking for help.

Crossroads opens at 3 pm each day and stays open well into the night. Between 700 and 1000 kids pass through its doors each year. They take art classes and cooking classes-- or hip-hop, a new offering this summer. They work on resumes, and brush up their job skills. They learn how to fill out applications - for university, for the army. They hang out, in a place that feels safe to them.

With Caryn's help - and that of her staff of four and a half social workers - they learn to put the pieces of their lives back together, to find a safe place to live, to learn that while it's good to set their achievement bar high - it's even better to have options.

We had the privilege of visiting with a "graduate" of both Meled and Crossroads while we were visiting Caryn. He is a young man from a troubled family who has completed his army service and is ready to go to University. He's not quite sure where - but he has goals, skills he's learned along the way, and a keen sense of self-awareness. His biggest concern now? His younger brother, who's struggling with some of the same issues he struggled with. "I keep telling him I believe in him," my new friend said. We talked at length and I could assure him that the belief of an older sibling could be pivotal in helping a younger sib find his/her way.

Going through my mind, as I listened to Menachem and Caryn and my new friend was something that was written in my 9th grade yearbook (1968, Edgewood High School, Madison WI) by Molly McGuire - one of those very popular but incredibly nice people that you're sometimes lucky enough to meet.

Molly wrote: Our lives are shaped by those who love us and by those who refuse to love us. Molly - if you're out there - your thought has echoed in my mind many times in the last 41 years.

Caryn and Menachem exemplify "those who love" who "shape our lives."

A full day indeed.


Meled and Crossroads are two projects supported by the Mitzvah Heroes Fund.

Thursday Morning

Our first meeting on Thursday morning (Neal, Steve Kerbel and I) was with Karyn London of Atzum. Karyn is a social worker and the coordinator of the Survivors of Terror Project. This Project, which is one of three that Atzum gives its attention to, focuses on those individuals and families whose lives have been irreparably shattered by terrorist actions – especially when the individual is the main provider for the family.

Karyn spoke knowledgeably and compassionately about the difficulties facing many of these families. Physical injuries are only part of the damage done: PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder) is often a by-product as well. What makes PTSD particularly difficult (for those who’ve never seen a loved one experience it) is that the flashbacks can be caused by any one of a number of triggers: sights, sounds, smells, touches, tastes. Triggers are not only difficult to identify, but they may affect an individual at random and unexpected times. Just telling people “it’s done, put it behind you and move on with your life” doesn’t work (would that it could).

So Karyn and her team of people provide assistance to survivors of terrorism and their families through such supports as tuition assistance for retraining; taxi rides to and from schools for children who were injured in a bus bombing between their home and school; and orthopedic household equipment for those suffering from chronic pain as a result of their injuries. This support allows the survivors to regain the sense of dignity necessary to each individual and (in my opinion) changes people from "victims" to "survivors."

[Note: Atzum also works with the Righteous Among Nations and has a Task Force on Human Trafficking.]

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Our second meeting of the morning was with the Rabbanit Bracha Kappach.

The Rabbanit has been doing tzedakah work for over 45 years. She got her start by helping a sick neighbor – cleaning for her, caring for her, and cooking for her. She hasn’t stopped caring for people since then! In 1964, she began distributing packages of food for Pesach/Passover. In the intervening years, she has distributed packages to over thousands and thousands of people.

During the hour and a half we were there, her phone never stopped ringing – people calling for help; people offering to help. We peeked into her “warehouse” area – a partially closed-in balcony where there were stacks of flour, sugar, oil, and other staples. It looked like a lot of food to me, but Steve whispered that her stores were more depleted than he’d seen before.

In addition to her annual Pesach food distribution, the Rabbanit also provides food for many people each week for Shabbat. Early on Friday morning, people who have no other resources show up at her door for staples, a chicken, some challah and perhaps some juice. She gets prepared foods from Moshe Kot of the Lev Ramot Organization. Lev Ramot picks up uneaten food from catered affairs and delivers it anonymously to people who are hungry. He calls the Rabbanit when he has food he knows she can use.

So often we think that there’s little that one individual can do to “make a difference.”

I once had the privilege of being in the first row when Margaret Mead was speaking at my college, a few short years before her death in 1978. I remember clearly her message to us that day: Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.

As I was with the Rabbanit yesterday, I kept remembering Margaret Mead, and realizing that I was in the presence of someone who has, indeed, changed the world.

[One of the things that brought joy to the Rabbanit’s face was when she told us that she and her husband, Rav Kappach, were the only husband and wife to have both won the Israel Prize: he for his scholarship work; and she for tzedakah work. Tzedakah, she told us, is not a choice; it’s an obligation/a mitvah/something we are commanded to do.]

A morning spent with people intent on repairing the world is a morning rich with experiences and memories.

These are two of the many tzedakah opportunities the Mitzvah Heroes Fund supports.

We're Here!

We’re in Israel. We arrived last evening at about 7:00 pm Israel time (12 noon EDT), to be greeted at our hotel by Steve Kerbel and Danny Siegel. Steve had a “welcome basket” for us – almonds, chocolates, and plums. It was nice to see a familiar face so soon!

The trip over was, well, a “trip.” Suffice it to say I broke my previous record by logging 32 hours of wakefulness. When I was young – and foolish??? – all-nighters were a part of the routine periodically. That was a LONG time ago.

First impressions of Israel?

The airport was big (so was Madrid’s, for that matter). Security lines moved quickly; everything was clearly marked, even for a non-Hebrew speaker. We were actually in and out of the airport in less than an hour. We were met by our pre-arranged taxi driver right on the other side of the gate, who reached for our luggage and got us on our way to Jerusalem in short order.

The drive from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem was interesting. Taki pointed things out and gave us a mini-tour as we drove. We were both delighted to see directional signs to places we’d only read about – Petah Tikva, and Mod’in, to name just a couple.

We saw fences around Arab settlements, a prison holding Palestinians, and a demonstration in a Haredi neighborhood with a huge police presence. The reason for the demonstration? A woman who is a member of that community was arrested for child abuse. The community maintains that they have the right to discipline their own members – it’s not the police’s job to do that. From what Taki told us, however, the abuse had been sustained over a number of years, with hospitalizations along the way.

The situation was evidently well-known within the community. The resentment (and subsequent protests) resulted from the perceived interference of the “outsiders” (the State).

I wonder: who speaks for the children, who cannot speak for themselves? Isn’t it the obligation of the community to protect those who are defenseless?

Sometimes I wonder which is the group that presents the greatest danger to Israeli society: the Palestinians (who are a threat from without) or those Haredim (who are a threat from within)? Both are situations that are much more nuanced than I’ve presented here, I know, and yet…..

I also was curious about how I’d respond to the actual “land” of Israel. Full disclosure: I grew up in the lush farmlands of the State of Wisconsin, where the green is a treat for the eyes three-fourths of the year. The sky is “big” there, too – not as big as the Dakotas, but far bigger than Maryland. Heat makes me itch – brown, I interpret as “barren” and depressing. I’d read Walking the Bible, and seen lots of videos, movies and pictures of the land. With the exception of Ein Gedi and the Galilee, there didn’t appear to be a lot of what my psyche has had imprinted on it as “beautiful.” How would I respond to the “real thing?”

It is brown. Some parts are very barren. In some areas, there’s been reforestation – with trees I don’t recognize, but nonetheless, green spaces to gaze upon. In some areas (outside a couple of the Arab settlements) the hills leading up to the settlements were covered by olive trees. Not big – more what I would call “shrubs” in size instead of trees. Taki explained that olives are a vital crop in the Arab economy in those areas.

The land has a kind of grandeur to it. It’s hard and dry-looking with what appear to be terraced areas carved into many of the hills outside Jerusalem. It almost looks tired, if land can be described in human characteristics. Tired, but undefeated – it has seen much in the millennia – and has survived.

Jerusalem is busy – crazy traffic (people park on the sidewalks in some places), horns blaring, much construction. Our hotel is on King David Street, at the top of a hill. Walking downhill is a joy (winding around the construction and the sidewalk parking). Returning uphill is an experience best taken slowly – at least by this out-of-shape fifty-six year old.

But the breeze is a delight! And the evening cooled off nicely.

Today’s been a busy one – many impressions rolling through my mind. I’ll try to process them today and post them either later today or tomorrow.

It WAS a Busy Week

Wow!

What a week...

I finished and submitted an article for publication....

My colleague and I finished over-arching school goals, individual grade goals (accompanied by some strategies for implementation), and a Scope and Sequence for the coming year. Still many pieces to pull together, but the framework appears to be solid. I'll put it aside for a couple of days and then look at it with fresh eyes.

Our kitchen, dining area and adjacent hallway were painted this past week. Alison of Alacrity Consulting and Design did a superb job. Here's her description of what the job entailed. I'm still trying to find new "stashing" places for the stuff we need (which is actually a lot less than the stuff we had). And as you'll see from her to do list at the bottom of her posting, we've still got some finishing touches to add. But it's a clean, warm look and the space has become much more restful than it was previously.

And did I mention that we're leaving for Israel in less than 3 days? I haven't really begun to pack yet (although I've given it lots and lots of thought!)...

It's the first trip for both my husband and me - both of our adult kids also took their first trips (individually) within the last two years.

We decided not to do a tour - neither of us likes to be told to "hurry up and let's go." Since it's a short trip, we decided to spend four days in Jerusalem and four in Tel Aviv. We've had a lot of fun planning our trip - my husband does a superb job of tracking details and researching options.

Here are some of the highlights:

• Arrive Wednesday evening
• Mitzvah Heroes work Thursday
• Ben Yehuda market and shops on Friday
• Shabbat dinner with a friend
• Shabbat morning with other friends - maybe services with the Reconstructionist minyan
• A walking tour of the Old City
• Tel Aviv on Sunday
• Some museums - Independence Hall, the Palmach
• Maybe a day trip
• Some beach time
• Some shopping and wandering

Sounds like fun, doesn't it? I purchased a new netbook and plan to take it along with us to blog, email, and perhaps watch a movie on the flight over or back. With my knitting needles and some yarn, I'll be ready to go!

Stay tuned!

Usually the Summer is Quiet....

...but all of a sudden things have gotten "crazy-busy" here!

I'm doing a lot of writing (other than on this blog, obviously):

• lesson plans for a regional Madrichim/Teacher Aide program to be held August 30th
• some material I hope will be published on Madrichim training
• thank you notes for donations and kindnesses received after my mother died

I've got the pleasure of working with a colleague on a major curriculum review. She's doing it right, in my opinion, by starting with the goals for each grade and then trying to figure out how to teach them and what materials to use. We're also trying to build in some assessment pieces as we go along, so she'll be able to determine at the end of the year where the strengths and weaknesses are in her new curriculum.

I'm working with another colleague on modifying her family education program.

We're having our kitchen, dining area, and adjacent hallway painted this coming week.... which means the decluttering needs to happen NOW.

We're getting ready to leave on our first-ever trip to Israel in 11 days. I'll definitely be blogging from Israel!

And then there's just the odds and ends of summer - doctors' appointments that are difficult to schedule in the winter; office files and materials that need to be reorganized and culled; new books and other materials that need to be reviewed in order to prepare for the coming year; and my website to review and update.

On the back burner: my year-end review and the year-long madrichim course I'll be teaching in the fall (I've got a syllabus done, but need to prepare lessons and activities).

Whatever happened to "those lazy, hazy days of summer????" NOTE: I'm NOT complaining - I like being busy - am just surprised at the sudden influx of things on my "to-do" list!