Lev B'Lev - Key Concepts

I’ve recently completed a regional program for fifth graders on tzedakah/philanthropic giving.

It’s the middle program in a three-year sequence dealing with “giving Jewishly.” Year One (for fourth graders) focuses on doing things to help others and, appropriately so, is called “Mitzvah Mania.” Year Three (for sixth graders) focuses on the work done by our local Federation which provides support for local Jewish partner agencies and (also appropriately) is called “Kallah,” which means “community.”

The Year Two program (for fifth graders), the one I worked on, is called “Lev B’Lev” or “Heart to Heart.” Our primary focus, as I said, was on giving money. The program was funded in part – as are the others in the series – by a grant from our local Federation. Part of what makes this program unique is that the fifth graders bring a dollar with them to donate to the organizations they learn about in the morning’s program.

The project design called for the following:

1. Development of three key concepts involved in deciding where to donate tzedakah.
   
2. Development of curricular materials which can be used by classroom teachers prior to the program.
   
3. Planning the program – organizing the structure, identifying the presenters, working with the hosting facility, purchasing materials
   
4. Communicating effectively – with the directors of the schools participating; the classroom teachers; the presenters; and the students
   
5. Analyzing and assessing the program upon completion.

As a result of my work this past year with the Mitzvah Heroes Fund, I found it relatively easy to decide on two of the three key concepts on which to base our program: Maimonides’ "Ladder of Tzedakah" and "Circles of Giving" (again, Maimonides).

The Ladder of Tzedakah outlines clearly Jewish responsibility for caring for the needy in our communities. Starting with “giving reluctantly and unwillingly,” one can move all the way “up” the ladder to “teaching someone how to provide for him or herself.” The particular point I asked teachers to make with their students is that giving tzedakah is a mitzvah, in the commandment sense of the word. No where does it say giving tzedakah is optional. Torah Aura has a neat instant lesson that we got for the teachers to use with their classes. Called “Rambam’s Rungs” (Rambam is another name for Maimonides), it provides students with an opportunity to consider where different scenarios fall on the tzedakah ladder.

The second concept addressed the question: “To whom do we give?”

This is an area of grave concern within the Jewish community: should Jews give only to Jewish organizations or should they give to non-Jewish organizations as well? Advocates come down strongly on either side of the question. Demographic data gathered within the last decade indicate that younger Jews are no longer supporting Jewish tzedakah organizations as their parents and grandparents did – many times with dire results for the agencies and the people they serve.

And yet, even in the days of Maimonides, we were encouraged to support the local communities in which we live, with the understanding that they were not entirely Jewish. I found some wonderful materials at JustAction, a joint project between Hillel – The Foundation for Jewish Campus Life and Panim – The Institute for Jewish Leadership and Values. I ultimately decided to include non-Jewish organizations as part of this program, basically for two reasons:

1) My belief that Jewish values should permeate ALL of our actions, including our involvement in the communities around us; and

2) the sixth grade program (see above) will focus specifically on the work that the Federation does by supporting its partner agencies.

The final concept I decided to focus on is one I’ve become much more adamant about as a result of my involvement as a co-founder of and the treasurer for the Mitzvah Heroes Fund. It also was almost a no-brainer in light of the publicity surrounding the shanda/scandal of Bernie Madoff: We would learn about “due diligence.” Just-Tzedakah has a wonderfully well-written guide called “Smart Tzedakah” (scroll down near the center bottom of the home page) which sets forth clearly things to look for in evaluating whether the organization one is sponsoring is a good custodian of the funds it receives.

In summary then, these were the three key concepts we based our program on:

• Maimonides’ Ladder of Tzedakah (How do we give?)
• Circles of Giving (To whom do we give?)
• Due Diligence (What’s "giving wisely"?)

Teachers were provided with source materials and some suggestions for implementation in advance of our program held on March 15th.

My next post will discuss how we implemented our concepts into the day's programming.

Pearls from Pain

a drash

Several weeks ago, our congregation had its annual “Disability Awareness Shabbat.” Instead of a specific d’var torah/”words on the torah” (aka “sermon”), a congregant gave a drash/teaching on her experience as the parent of a child with multiple disabilities. Her children are about the same age as ours (mid- to late-twenties) and I’ve known her “somewhat” since we were much younger parents.

She spoke about the journey that she and her husband have been on since her child which diagnosed within a couple of weeks after birth with viral encephalitis – and the changes resulting from it: cognitively and physically.

She spoke eloquently about the grieving process that she and her husband went through:

The inevitable questions of how and why this could have happened as well as the anger and sadness took time to work through. Any person who has ever experienced a loss understands these emotions and can appreciate what it takes to deal with these feelings. Fortunately, we had a strong relationship and we understood the importance of finding something positive in dealing with this life altering experience. We also understood that our attitude towards our child would influence our [other] children’s attitude as well.

She spoke about the caring people along their journey who supported them; people who cared for their child and chose to establish their own relationship with him.

Even though there have been many caring people and her child – now an adult – has been able to have a quality of life surpassing that which was originally projected, my friend admitted:

All this being said, having a child like ours does not diminish the challenge and sometimes isolation we feel as parents. We have developed some wonderful friendships with other families who parent a child with special needs. It is within this community that we can share our experiences and know that we are not alone and can help one another.

She ends her drash by quoting from My Grandfather’s Blessings by Dr Naomi Reden.

In her book, she describes an oyster as being soft, tender, and vulnerable. Without the sanctuary of its shell it could not survive. But oysters must open their shells in order to “breathe” water. Sometimes while an oyster is breathing, a grain of sand will enter its shell and become a part of its life from then on.

Such grains of sand cause pain, but an oyster does not alter its soft nature because of this. It does not become hard and leathery in order not to feel. It continues to entrust itself to the ocean, to open and breathe in order to live. But it does respond. Slowly and patiently, the oyster wraps the grain of sand in thin translucent layers until, over time, it has created something of great value in the place where it is most vulnerable to its pain. A pearl might be thought of as an oyster’s response to its suffering. Not every oyster can do this. Oysters that do are more valuable to people than oysters that do not.

Sand is a way of life for an oyster. If you are soft and tender and must live on the sandy floor of the ocean, making pearls becomes a necessity if you are to live well.

She ends with her own bit of wisdom:

Disappointment and loss are a part of every life. Many times we can put such things behind us and get on with the rest of our lives. But not everything is amendable to this approach. Some things are too big or too deep to do this, and we will have to leave important parts of ourselves behind if we treat them in this way. These are the places where wisdom begins to grow in us. It begins with suffering that we do not avoid or rationalize or put behind us. It starts with the realization that our loss, whatever it is, has become a part of us and has altered our lives so profoundly that we cannot go back to the way it was before.

Something in us can transform such suffering into wisdom. The process of turning pain into wisdom often looks like a sorting process. First we experience everything. Then one by one we let things go, the anger, the blame, the sense of injustice, and finally even the pain itself, until all we have left is a deeper sense of the value of life and a greater capacity to live it.

It is with this thought that I believe our child has become my pearl.

I learned a lot that morning, listening to my friend share her pearls of wisdom with all of us. I especially like the acknowledgement that it's not always possible to "put it behind me and move on."... that feelings need to be experienced honestly before one can begin to let them go. And yet, over time, it is possible to value and life life more deeply and completely.

Wow.

"Tricks of the Trade"

I tend to be a little compulsive when it comes to organizing materials for a specific program - especially if it's the first time I've worked with a group of people. Obviously, I want to put my best foot forward. While I can't control all the things that might come up, the more organized I am before I walk through the door, the fewer the "glitches" are which seem to occur with any program.

So where do I start?

I begin with the web format I discussed in my previous posting. Once I have two or three ideas listed in each content/modality area which pertain to the topic, I look at the whole program to determine both the flow of the program and its integrity – does it fit together? Does it make sense? Have I included enough different angles or perspectives from which participants can approach the topic? Once I’m satisfied with the answers to these questions, in short order I

• determine space needs within the facility limitations
• pull together a draft agenda
• prepare center signs: I like to use a specific graphic relating to each center, and (when possible) a different type face.

During this stage, the program is still pretty fluid. Facility limitations often cause ideas to be reworked or eliminated. It’s hard, for example, to do a relay race if there’s insufficient space! “Facilities” also includes equipment: do we have access to a DVD player, a microphone, a sink? If not, can we adapt the activity or do we need to come up with a substitute? Sometimes the absence of someone with a specific talent also results in reworking or eliminating certain activities. Oftentimes I can rework an activity so that specialists are not necessary – or if they are available, I’ll rework the activity to take advantage of their expertise.

After the brainstorming and dealing with the big questions, I look at each area in turn to decide what this specific center needs in order for these specific activities to work easily.

In the Israel Center of the Tu B’Shevat program I just facilitated, for example, I decided on two activities: Make-your-own Hebrew weather flashcards AND Learn about the Arava Institute

Both good ideas, yes?

Both had barriers to overcome:

Many adults in the community are not fluent in Hebrew; much of the Hebrew language instruction in the School is oral, not written. Barrier: few people knew the Hebrew for the weather words; few can read the Hebrew; and few can write the words on the index cards. Solution: Labels were used to make the flash cards. Each label had a Hebrew word, the transliteration, and the English meaning. A poster was prepared that showed the same information next to an illustration of the word. Participants were encouraged to select the words they wanted, attach the label to an index card, and illustrate the meaning of the word in a way that made sense to them.

Barrier: One of the teachers of older children suggested this activity would probably bore her students. Solution: She suggested they be encouraged to write brief stories for younger students, incorporating the Hebrew vocabulary appropriately.

Barrier: Given the short amount of time to prepare, we had difficulty obtaining written material about the Arava Institute (our fault – not theirs!). Solution: One of the teachers suggested using their website to convey information. Barrier: the program was held in a rented facility without internet access. Solution: Using the graphics and copy available from the website, we produced Powerpoint that we were able to run on a laptop.

[You'll notice, I hope, that at this stage we actually increased the number of activities from two to three to address the potentially "it's too easy/boring" reaction of older students. The teacher provided good feedback and being open to what she offered prevented problems down the road.]

Once we were able to find solutions to the barriers, we began to prepare the following:

• A flyer that contained a list of activities participants could choose to engage in
• A supplies list (index cards, labels, markers, writing paper, pens/pencils, poster, powerpoint, laptop, extension cord, and a tzedakah box – since the Arava Institute was the tzedakah beneficiary that morning).
• Directions for the teacher who was stationed at the center

We decided who would be responsible for getting which supplies. I emailed the directions to the school director and asked her to forward them to her staff with a request for feedback. (At some of the centers, I prepared samples and step-by-step instructions for the teachers to follow.)

I repeated this process for each of the different centers, as well as for the take-home materials.

Once the draft schedule was approved and centers were assigned to each space, I printed the agenda, the evaluation forms (see my previous post), two posters containing the entire list of activities by center, and flyers to be placed outside each room so people would know they were in the right place. Using a different graphic and type face for each center was a visual aid that allowed people to find their destination quickly when it was time to change activities.

I had prepared a master list by center of all the supplies and materials needed. As I gathered them, they were placed in a large zipper storage bag (like Ziploc or Glad bags), with the center sign visible. After I bagged the material for each center, I crossed it off my master list, zipped the bag shut AND didn't open the bag again. (I've learned - the hard way - that this is the only way I can ensure that I don't remove something, forget to return it, and find myself without a critical piece when I get to the program site!)

I always plan to get there at least ten minutes before I can get in to set up. That gives me the opportunity to take a deep breath and R-E-L-A-X.

It's not possible to foresee every eventuality or avoid every crisis, but attention to the details in the planning goes a long way!

Family Programs

I’ve been working on a couple of large projects this past month.

Although they’ve been interesting, I’ve found myself struggling with the “brain fog” that often seems to hit in December and/or January, in which it takes a great deal of effort to stay focused and productive. But the days are growing longer and, this week, we were blessed with unseasonably warm weather. So now I know again, that winter will *not* last forever: Spring is on its way!

So, what – you might ask – have I been up to?

I just finished a Tu B’shevat program for a family program at a local synagogue. It was actually a lot of fun to prepare for! As a brainstorming tool, I used a web format like this:

I find it helps me a) make sure I include activities for different types of learners; and b) visualize the interrelationships between some of the areas.

You’ll notice that some of the areas are “content” areas (eg, Israel, Mitzvah work) and some are “modalities” (i.e, writing, art, drama) and some can be “either/or” (texts, music). Depending on the age of the group, I may add other ideas to the web. “Movement” is a popular one, as is “books or stories.” After brainstorming, I share the web with another person to see what ideas it triggers for them.

And then, I get to work!

Especially if it’s a multi-age program – but even if it’s not – I generally try to come up with more than one idea or activity for circle in the web, using Bloom’s taxonomy as a loose guide. For example, if the topic is “Tu B’shevat,” in the writing center, I might offer the following selections:

• Write 15 things that come from trees.
• Write a poem (haiku or acrostic) about some aspect of trees.
• Write a journal entry as if you the boy in Shel Silverstein’s The Giving Tree trying to explain to his children why there were no trees planted on their street.
• Pretend you are an inanimate object that helps people fulfill the mitzvah of bal tashchit/do not destroy. Describe yourself; tell what you do; discuss how you feel when people use you; and provide one rationale for people who ignore you to change their behavior.

Particularly for large-group program, but also for class lessons, I often like to provide participants with a variety of options from which to choose. If possible, I like to do this both when presenting the lesson, but also in reinforcing it through class work and assessment. By providing choices, I find that students are apt to focus more on the content and less on the method. The ultimate question I’m asking them to answer is “What do I know (or what have I learned) about this topic?” A student may do a better job of illustrating what s/he has learned rather than writing a descriptive paragraph. For family programming, the levels of projects also allow parents and children to work together on something slightly more sophisticated or nuanced than the child would undertake on his or her own.

I like setting up “centers” or “stations” for people to work at – it gives me an opportunity to locate several “quiet” activities near each other; to break the group into more manageable subgroups; and gives me a quick view of which activities seem to be attracting the most (or the least) participants. My personal preference is to provide one large block of time for “center work” and allow people to move through the activities at their own pace. For some groups, that sense of freedom translates into chaos – they do better with defined time blocks. In that case, it’s particularly crucial that I provide more than one activity per center, to accommodate those who work at a faster pace than others.

It is important, however, to have both a formal beginning as well as an ending to the program. During the beginning you can set the stage for the experiences the group will be having, and outline whatever specific parameters there may be. The ending provides a chance to summarize the learning as a whole group. Asking “What’s one thing you learned today” will result in more targeted responses than “Did you enjoy the program." I also use the final period as an opportunity to have participants fill out a brief (half-page) evaluation sheet consisting of the same questions I use in my own reflective exercises. I ask both students and parents to fill out an evaluation, with the only difference in the questions being the final one.

1. What did you learn today?
2. What worked particularly well?
3. What should we change next time?
4. Did your child participate the way you thought s/he would? OR Did you get to work with your parent the way you wanted to?
   

Organization helps make a program like this more successful. My next posting will contain some “tricks of the trade” I’ve learned along the way!

Shabbat Yitro

A friend gave the d’var Torah this past week on the parshah Yitro/ Jethro. He made a number of good points. There were two that really resonated with me.

The context for the first was Yitro’s arrival at Moses’ tent. Moses was occupied with settling all the disagreements between the Israelites. Yitro – his father-in-law – arrives and sees Moses’ exhaustion and also the trouble brewing while the Israelites are waiting in line (in the heat) to speak to Moses. He offers Moses some unsolicited advice, which involves establishing a process in which disagreements are settled by judges appointed by Moses, with only those issues that cannot be resolved ultimately making their way through an appeals process to Moses.

My friend comments:

I believe there are a number of aspects in the way that Jethro counseled Moses that allowed Moses to make the right decision.

The first thing that Jethro did was to let Moses know he was advising him out of a sense of concern for Moses, his daughter and grandchildren and for all the people of Israel. Sometimes, when we are offered advice by others, we can become suspicious of their motives. Jethro never suggests that he should take on some of the burden off of Moses’ shoulders. Jethro doesn’t nominate himself or anyone else by name to fill the role of a judge.

Jethro never questions his son-in-law’s wisdom or his leadership abilities. Often, when we are given unsolicited advice, we can become defensive and look upon the advice offered as criticism.

Jethro tells his son-in-law that he should follow his advice only if G-d commands him to. Jethro understood that Moses had a very special relationship with G-d and that anything that Moses did or said was done with the guidance of G-d.

His comments made me wonder if I am as respectful when I offer unsolicited advice.

The second point my friend made discusses the juxtaposition in this parsha of Yitro offering unsolicted advice and the Israelites receiving the Ten Commandments at Mount Sinai.

He finishes his d'var Torah by saying:

To me, the one word that best sums up what happened at Mount Sinai is the word “miracle”. The transmission of the Ten Commandments not only changed the lives of all those who were physically there to witness it, not only did it have an impact on later generations of Jews that cannot be over-stated but it also represents one of the most important events in all of human history.

So, why is this incredible moment in the history of our people preceded by something as seemingly ordinary as a father-in-law offering advice to his son-in-law? I believe that the Torah is teaching us that we, as people, help to make miracles possible, in part, when we offer to help one another.

In other words, while G-d is entirely responsible for the miracles we read about in the Torah and for the miracles we have witnessed in every generation since then, we as humans are responsible for maintaining a world that is conducive to G-d’s miracles and blessings.

We are responsible for maintaining a world that is conducive to miracles and blessings. It's a powerful (and empowering) concept.

Shauvah tov - a good week.

Torah Study on Shabbat Bo

I'm facilitating the weekly Torah Study session at Tikvat Israel this coming Shabbat. Here's an excerpt from what I'm planning:

A number of the commentators mentioned that this week’s selection includes the first mitzvot – commandments – that the Israelites received. Many focused on the new year – and compared it or contrasted it with the observance of Rosh Hashanah. Rabbi Ari Kahn from Aish adds another dimension to that discussion:

But there is more to this passage that makes it unique. For one, we might ask: Why was this the first commandment? Surely God had at least 613 other choices. Furthermore, why was this Commandment given in the land of Egypt? Why couldn't the Jews wait until Sinai?

[snip]

Rav Yosef Dov Soloveitchik, Zat"zal, explained why this commandment was given here, and now. The Jews in Egypt were slaves, and therefore lacked a sense of time. They needed to acquire a sense of time in order to be truly liberated, transformed from objects to independent people.

The last sentence is key. It is our ability to delineate time which gives us both the freedom and the responsibility to carve out meaningful lives for ourselves.

Jewish time is an interesting phenomenon: it’s both abstract and concrete. It’s concrete because it’s based on the cycles of the moon – the waxing and waning that occurs every month, on a predictable pattern. It’s abstract in that the days begin and end at different times, depending on the season and the latitude at which one lives. And it’s just plain confusing when we acknowledge that our days begin at sundown the night before. But even those abstract and confusing factors are abstract and confusing only because we spend much of our lives removed from the concreteness of the natural world in which we live.

The parshah goes on to specifically articulate the requirements for observing the Feast of Unleavened Bread. The verses outline when the holiday is to be celebrated, how it is to be observed, what work is permissible and what is not, and repeats three times that the Festival of Unleavened Bread shall be observed “as an institution for all time.” This specificity is in contrast to the more general directions of “observing and keeping holy” the Shabbat and refraining from all work. (Exodus 20:8-10).

Finally, I came across a commentary that helped me pull these disparate thoughts together:

Rabbi Stephen Baars, also on the Aish website, writes:

We Are What We Do
Sociology proclaims man to be a product of his environment. Judaism says man is a product of his actions.In this week's Parsha, there are 16 separate mitzvot concerning the Pesach holiday alone. All seem to have a similar purpose - to commemorate the Exodus from Egypt.

But the "Sefer HaChinuch" (14th century "Book of Mitzvah Education") deals with the Torah's seeming redundancy by clarifying a fundamental principle of Judaism... and indeed of life itself: "You should know that a person is influenced in accordance with his actions. His heart and all his thoughts are always drawn after the deeds in which he is occupied, whether they are good or bad."

Rabbi Bars continues:

Our nature, character, mood, disposition, temperament, attitude, and sensitivities are formed by our day-to-day activities. Of course, this "shaping" of our nature is not just affected by the actual actions of our job. It is also affected by what we do the remainder of the day as well! What books we read, if we exercise, how we drive, talk, eat... Every single action, in some very real way, affects the kind of person we are... just as the act of theft is what makes the criminal.

No action is irrelevant. They all change who we are, pulling the strings and levers of our emotions and thoughts. On some imperceptible level, every miniscule action affects different aspects of our nature - from our self-confidence to our peace of mind.

The influence of most actions are difficult (if not impossible) to detect. But anyone who cares about their character will investigate carefully the various values and influences of his actions.

Don't go through life unaware of how you are changing yourself. Start now on a course of self-awareness. Before you do any action, ask, "How will this affect me?" And after the action, ask again, "How did this affect me?"

These questions may not be easy, but they are entirely worthwhile. Because the one who practices them consistently will be, without a doubt, a more thinking, conscious and conscientious human being.

Ultimately, it may well be that it is this awareness, or mindfulness, of which Rabbi Bars writes which guides how well we integrate our Jewish time and our secular time.

Shabbat shalom.

Busy, Busy, Busy

It's been a busy couple of weeks since I posted last. Here are some of the highlights:

• There was a brief flurry of responses to getting our (Mitzvah Heroes Fund, Inc.) IRS approval as a 501(c)(3)...... I still need to get donation acknowledgements mailed out!
• I did a workshop for a colleague on "Strategies for Teaching Students Who Learn Differently." It was great to be there with them, but our time was abridged and I didn't do such a great job of abbreviating my agenda, "while standing on one foot." I need to do some pre-emptive thinking for future workshops: What will I leave out if our time runs short?
• I'm preparing a teaching session for a local day school on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day to teach about individuals who found themselves in the unanticipated position of protesting behavior, and whose actions caused significant change. Jewish values: b'tzelem elohim (all are created in the image of God) and ometz lev (courage of the heart). Add those thoughts to Margaret Mead's Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has and perhaps you'll see where I'm going!
• I'm working on a workshop for this coming Sunday for a colleague on "Working with Parents." As I blogged earlier, Joel Lurie Grishaver's Working with Parents: A Teacher's Guide (Torah Aura, 1997) has been an invaluable resource for this type of workshop over the years. Carol Oseran Starin's Let Me Count the Ways, Vol 2 (again, Torah Aura, 2006) has some wonderful suggestions on how to deal with those particularly difficult parents we seem to encounter occasionally.
• I'm also working on a regional program for fifth graders on tzedakah, called "Lev B'Lev /Heart to Heart".... doing the research to come up with the lessons so the teachers can set the stage with their students before our March program.
• I'm planning a workshop with another colleague later this month on working with madrichim/teen aides....
• With the resumption of classes after winter break, I've resumed my role as on-site midweek administrator for a local school ... and found myself testing Hebrew decoding yesterday! (Those of you who know me know that Hebrew language is NOT necessarily my strongest skill!!) But I was able to do the testing.... and more importantly, identify the areas of weakness.... and even still more importantly, propose a course of study/review for the students that need it. WOW - who would've thought?
• I've begun to prep for a Family Tu B'shevat program in early February - we'll focus on bal tashchit (do not destroy) and shomrei adamah (guardianship of the earth).... I'm reading lots of blogs, doing lots of online research and beginning to map out a program that will be sufficiently substantive and engaging for kids and adults.
• And I'm continuing to pull research and ideas together for a school I'm working with that has some children who present rather unique challenges... this one is going a little more slowly than anticipated.

And, in the meantime.... my mother's health is deteriorating rapidly and we're beginning to face some end-of-life issues and feelings.... a friend's daughter's been in and out of the hospital for medical stuff they're having trouble identifying... and my daughter had a week to leave a month early on her BirthRight trip to Israel! Instead of leaving in early February, she left yesterday.... you should have seen the scurrying in this house the last seven days. "Shabbat in Jerusalem twice, Mom" was her mantra.

So, like everyone else, things have been busy.

But this weekend, I'm taking a break and spending Shabbat on retreat with friends from a congregation where I worked for several years. The weather forecast is for frigid weather, but I've been assured I don't have to leave the lodge at all.... so I'm game! Good friends, good conversation, some quality davening /prayer, set in a place where I'll have no cell phone reception -- what could be better??

Shabbat shalom.