Morah Mary's Musings

The REAL Questions We Should Be Asking

2010-07-14T08:00:00.000-04:00

Many religious schools I know are struggling to retain teens as part of their educational programs, once they pass the bar- or bat-mitzvah milestone.

They’re trying

more content
less content
more frequent meetings
less frequent meetings
retreats in lieu of some classes
retreats in addition to class
to give “credit” for volunteer work, youth group activities
to make programs more rigorous
to make programs more “social”
making meals part of the program (If you feed them, they will come!)

What I seldom hear is a discussion articulating the relevance of the program offerings.

We talk about what teens will learn. We spend a great deal of time deciding who will teach them. We seriously consider methodology. We evaluate the structure in an attempt to meet their scheduling constraints. "Who, what, where and when" - that's our focus.

But, do we tell them why it’s important to learn what we want them to know? Do we specify the connection to their daily lives?

My friend and colleague, Marc Kay, challenges us: “So what?” Why does what we are teaching matter? What's the relevance?

We may have (in our own minds) an answer to that question, BUT do we share that insight with our students?

I remember asking Mr. McNaughton, in advanced algebra (back in the dark ages), why we needed to learn how to operate a slide rule. “At some point,” he assured us, “we’d need to be able to do complex calculations and this was the most accurate way to do them.”

(Does anyone out there even remember a slide rule? Or how to use it?)

Hopefully, the knowledge, values and experiences we’re trying to get our teens to grapple with have relevance for them in their lives TODAY, as well as in the future.

"So what" should be the first question we ask, not the last.

Empowering Teens

2010-07-11T08:32:00.005-04:00

There's a delicate dance we do, when we work with teens who will end up working under the direction of classroom teachers (...or group leaders...or coaches... or...).

Our goal is to help them be assistant teachers, capable of acting on their own initiative to teach, modify, intervene, support and encourage.

The challenge? None of the teachers has the same style, the same pacing, the same needs for assistance. Some teachers want their aides to step in without being told what to do or how to handle a given situation. Some want their aides NOT to intervene (because the teacher may have “spoken” to the student a few moments ago, because the teacher has a need to control the classroom interactions, because the aide has overruled the teacher’s instructions previously, because…)

The challenge? For many of our aides, especially the younger ones, this is the first “job” they will have, regardless of whether they are paid or volunteer. They haven’t yet learned things like showing up on time; turning iPods and cell phones off; how distracting their whispering can be in the back of the classroom while the teacher is trying to teach….

The challenge? The age disparity between the aides and the students they’re working with is often not very wide, again especially for our younger aides. Each one will handle this challenge a little differently: some will try to assert their authority in counter-productive ways; others will try to befriend the students they’re working with; still others will refuse to engage with the students because they’re uncertain and don’t even know how to phrase the question: “How do you want me to handle things?”

The challenge? Teachers are often rehired because they’re “good” with the age student they’re teaching. Their madrich/aide is several years older than their students – and is often at an age the teachers are uncomfortable with. Quite simply: they may not know how to talk to teens!

The challenge? Other than routine administrative tasks (photocopying, delivering materials to the office, setting up for snack), teachers don’t know how to use their aides effectively. Many of them seldom provide their aide with specific instructions: “Please listen to their practice reading. Each student should read three sentences accurately. You may help them by correcting their pronunciation after they’ve made an attempt. If you do, then have the student read the word/phrase/sentence that they stumbled on three times accurately. This will help them practice it correctly and aid in fluency.” Instead, we say, “Listen to them read.”

The challenge? Our aides don’t often know how what they’re doing fits into the big picture – how does it relate to the rest of the lesson? Last week’s lesson? Next week’s material? And let’s not even mention “assessment” – a good many of our teachers have difficulty with assessment and consequently can’t guide their aides in this direction.

Overcoming Challenges

One of the most important paths to overcoming some of these challenges is professional development. Many communities I work with are cognizant of the need for madrichim/aide training. Training is critical and a good facilitator can help the teens address a number of these challenges, and more!

But an equally critical component is professional development for the teachers. Through workshops, classroom observations, and mentors, teachers can be guided in ways to improve their communications with their aides, incorporate the aides in their planning, and determine whether their expectations are realistic and appropriate.

Reflective practice for both teachers and madrichim/aides can help each gain insight into their own actions, responses, and expectations – and help make changes for future situations.

Directors AND teachers need to be willing to invest the time and energy in developing these bonds with the teens in their program.

The Payoff

Teens who continue to remain involved in Jewish education.
Teens who model the “coolness factor” of remaining involved, post bar- or bat-mitzvah.
Extra hands, eyes, ears, and hearts to help educate the next generation of students.
One-on-one assistance for the student who’s floundering.
Feedback for teachers who truly don’t “have eyes in the back of their heads.”
An entrance into the world of Jewish communal work for our teens.
Beginning training for the next generation of teachers.

Classroom aides/madrichim can make a critical different in "reaching and teaching" our students - if we provide training, encouragement, meaningful evaluations for both teens and teachers!

Do Small Things

2010-05-23T08:00:00.002-04:00

Last month, we had the pleasure of another Soup and Song Home Concert at the home of Charlie and Marilyn Bernhardt. The month's artist in residence was Steve Eulberg. I last blogged about Steve almost two years ago. In the intervening period, we have listened to his music as we drove out and about on road trips.

I was absolutely delighted when he opened the evening with "A Ship May Be Safe." It is one of the songs that I've begun to use as a reminder when I'm contemplating whether to step off the beaten track and try something new, or remain in my comfort zone! Later in the evening, he and Charlie again sang "We Are An Answer to a Prayer." I thought again about all the students I've taught through the years and how they, too, have become an answer to our prayers.

The "old standbys" (the songs I've listened to again and again on my iPod or on the CD player in the car) were like old friends. But Steve brought along some "new friends" as well. There were three in particular that I enjoyed immensely, each for a different reason. Here they are!

They shall not hurt/they shall not destroy in all my holy mountain
For the earth shall be full of the knowledge of God/as the waters cover the sea (Holy Mountain)

The melody is catchy and upbeat - the message articulates that all of the earth is "sacred space" (not just synagogues or churches) and that "hurting" and "destroying" have no role in sacred space. The allusions are to the animal world (The wolf shall live with the lamb/and the leopard shall nap with the kid/the calf and the lion make friends/by a little child they'll be led), but it's not too difficult to see directives for our (human) behavior.

The second song evoked images of "back in the day." Steve sang about the pace on a lazy Sunday afternoon, when there was all the time in the world. The song's not yet been recorded, and I don't remember either the title or the specific words. But the memories it brought to mind were both familiar and distant: the never-ending boredom of a "sitting-around"-Sunday afternoon in a small town, back in the days of "blue laws" (when retail stores weren't open on Sundays); of Sunday afternoon naps, boring television (if you were lucky, you got all four channels: ABC, CBS, NBC and public television), and hours of unscheduled time.

Our pace of life is much more frenetic these days - even if one chooses a day of rest (Shabbat, or Sunday), it tends to be in isolation from our neighbors' practice and not in connection with them.

Finally, my new favorite-of-favorites:

Maybe I can't do great things that will move earth and heaven above
But I can surely do small things and do them with great love.
I can surely do small things and do them with great love.

No one can do everything
but everyone can do something
Someone who's faithful in small things can be trusted with things much bigger.

In introducing this song, Steve talked about someone (perhaps himself?) who once asked Mother Theresa how she managed to do such great things. Mother Theresa's response was that she didn't do great things - she did "small things with great love." From that response, came the song.

I find myself humming it at random times... and being willing to consider anew what "small thing [I] can do with great love."

And I haven't even touched on the amazing tones Steve coaxed from his dulcimers... or the feelings of spiritually and community shared by all present that evening.

My thanks to Steve Eulberg and Soup and Song Productions for an evening that's already had a ripple effect in my life.

Establishing A Madrichim Program

2010-02-06T19:00:00.001-05:00

I had the privilege and honor last month of being asked to present two workshops at the Annual JEA Conference. The second one was entitled "Madrichim: They're Not Just for Photocopying Anymore!"

As with any good program plan, we set the framework out at the beginning:

· Define your program objectives

· Establish criteria for participation

· Overcome barriers

· Assess and amend

DEFINE YOUR PROGRAM OBJECTIVES

It’s well worth expending some serious time to figure out exactly what you’re looking for in this program (eg, classroom assistants, one-on-one tutors, service leaders, teachers-in-training, etc.) The skill sets vary somewhat from category to category, as do the job requirements.

Your program will also vary depending on the needs that you’re trying to address. Some of them might include the following: teachers who need an extra set of hands; students who need some one-on-one assistance or attention; teens who need to fill a meaningful role in congregational life; teens that you’re trying to keep involved post-b’nai mitzvah for whom taking classes just won’t cut it. In most of our programs, we try to address several needs. That’s okay – but you should identify for yourself what your primary need is. That will help with marketing the program.

Finally, your approach will be different depending on whether you begin a new program or modify an existing one. Each presents challenges, but each has specific advantages, too.

ESTABLISH CRITERIA FOR PARTICIPATION

Here are some questions you’ll need to think through in the early stages of planning your program:

1. Who is eligible to participate? (consider: teens, teachers, students)

2. What availability is required? (during sessions, outside of the school “day”)

3. Is there an application process?

4. Is there a selection process? (is it fair and how is it communicated to applicants)

5. What skill set are you looking for? How much flexibility are you willing to give?

6. Is training required?

a. Pre-service?

b. During the year?

7. Who will make the assignments?

8. Who will supervise/assess the madrichim?

In smaller schools – or sometimes with beginning programs – this work is initially assumed primarily by the Education/School Director. I encourage you to collaborate with either another staff person or a member of your school committee in the planning process. They can be of immense help is seeing things that might not otherwise be on our radar.

BARRIERS TO OVERCOME (aka “Things I’ve learned the hard way, so you don’t have to!”)

For many teens this is a first job (regardless of whether they’re being paid or volunteering)

What does that mean? It means they may not know about proper dress; about showing up “on time” – or a few minutes before class starts; about turning the phones to “vibrate;” about not texting during class; about taking the ear plugs out of their ears (even when the iPod is turned off!; about signing in when they arrive; about filling out paper work; about accepting directions gracefully; about how to talk to kids, their classroom teacher, and parents; about….. you get the idea! Two pieces of advice on this barrier – 1) don’t skip this step in training; and 2) catch them on infractions early and consistently, so they understand that you’re serious. Written, explicit job descriptions, incorporated into madrichim job contracts help. Contact me for a sample, if you’d like.

Teachers’ inexperience – or unwillingness – to work with madrichim

Many teachers simply don’t know “what to do” with these extra, often-significantly-larger bodies in their classrooms. We select our early childhood teachers based on their ability to connect with students in grades PreK-2 – and now we’re asking them to work with high schooler? Some of our teachers are intuitive and have difficulty articulating what they’re doing with their students and how an aide can help. Some are not very well organized and can’t do the extra piece that provides meaningful work for madrichim. Some simply don’t want to bother. Training here can be really helpful – training with teachers alone (perhaps before the year begins); joint training with teachers and madrichim together (on the topic of working together – shortly after the year begins). Also joint professional development (on lesson planning, working with students with special needs, etc = whatever area your school needs to address) helps foster a sense of “teamness.”

Parent support - or lack thereof

This is critical, since oftentimes our younger madrichim don’t drive. Are parents willing/able to bring the madrichim when we need them? Are the family issues that complicate things (shared custody, for example)? Are there extra-curricular activities that might make it difficult for a madrich/ah to participate regularly? Planned absences – a football schedule or dramatic performance – are one thing; waking up in the morning and deciding it’s more fun to sleep in is entirely different.

Budget Impact

You probably should have a line item in your budget – to allocate costs accurately. Regardless of whether your madrichim volunteer, are paid entirely by the school, or the pay is covered half by families and half by the school – there are costs incurred. Food and materials for training sessions; communication time and vehicles (a weekly newsletter – hardcopy or email), supervision time, classroom observations, mailboxes/bulletin board space; holiday “thank yous” (especially if you provide them for your teaching staff), etc.

One school required students to wear school-provided polo shirts, with a logo that identified them as participants in the madrichim program. Another school provided baseball shirts for their madrichim and also required them to wear them. The madrichim in both cases weren’t thrilled at the idea, but over time became to realize that there was merit in being identified as a staff member.

Perhaps the biggest budgetary impact will be for the time of the person who is coordinating/supervising the madrichim program. This can be a shared responsibility, but the dollars allocated do need to be considered in your planning for the entire budget.

Ongoing training and assessment

Just as we plan for professional development for our teachers and ourselves, so must we plan for professional development for our madrichim. Identify who will do the training. What topics will be covered? What reflective piece will be included to determine if the training session met your goals?

The amount of training and the areas that you’ll cover will depend on the goals of your program. The session about On-The-Job training and expectations should remain constant despite the variations in your program. When you plan your training sessions, make sure you cover information that will enhance their skill set for the particular program you have on your site.

Provide feedback for your madrichim informally, when you observe them incorporating new information or strategies. Make yourself accessible so that they can ask you if they have any questions or concerns.

SUPERVISION AND ASSESSMENT

Just as we must do this for teachers, so must we establish a formal procedure for our madrichim. Consider who will do this, how it will be done, and make realistic projections for how much time it will entail. If you’d like a sample evaluation form, please let me know.

I used to promise my madrichim I’d write them recommendations (for jobs or for college) if they performed well as madrichim in our program. It made it easier for them to understand and accept the assessments of their performance, especially since I provided areas in which they could improve.

Questions?

Leave a comment and I’ll address them as soon as I can!

Thanks to the JEA for the opportunity!

Relationships

2010-01-13T04:05:00.003-05:00

I've been heavily involved in a number of "professional development" endeavors this fall. Many of them focus on topics such as "enduring understandings," or "student engagement," or "deep learning." We've talked about "backwards design," "strategies for diverse learners," "ongoing assessment" and "evidence of learning."

About midway through the fall, it occurred to me that there is/was a key element that wasn't being mentioned in these discussions. I'm still not sure whether in our search for something that will work, it was overlooked entirely or it was an unarticulated assumption. I'm hoping it was the latter; I'm suspecting it was the former.

What AM I talking about?

The keystone we need to remember in working with learners of all ages is the importance of the personal relationship the teacher/facilitator must establish with each learner in his/her group, as well as the relationships the individual group members must establish with each other.

We often get so focused on our content that we lose sight of the individuals in front of us and who they are as people - not just in their role as learners.

We try to cram so much in that we neglect to take the time to establish a relationship.

My experience indicates that by trying to "save" time by jumping into content without building the relationship, the content remains disconnected from the lives of our students.

I've done a number of training sessions in the last six months - some have been part of a series, some were single-session events. In both cases, when I have compared notes with other presenters (at single-session events, for example), one thing stands out. In the groups where the presenters have taken the time to establish a sense of community and relationships, the quality of interactions and the quantity of knowledge (measured in depth instead of breadth) are increased markedly. This shows up in exit sheets or session evaluations.

In situations where the relationship is on-going (e.g., a class or series of workshops), establishing a relationship is the first critical piece in making the environment a safe one in which people can ask questions, express their own opinions, and be open to looking at information in a new way.

I'm teaching a class of madrichim - a great group of young people. After a three-week hiatus for winter break, I wanted to provide an opportunity for us to re-connect with each other. I introduced an activity I've used with other classes, which we've typically called "Roses and Thorns." Each participant shares one positive thing that happened since we've seen each other last - and one challenge or difficulty they're dealing with. My hesitation was that sometimes this exercise can expand to fill the entire class time. And we did have so much we needed to cover that day!

I decided to use visuals as a means of helping keep us focused. However, in my stash of materials, I couldn't find a fake rose. So I used an "apple" and a "lemon" - fake food items used in decorating my succah in years past - and renamed the activity "Apples and Lemons." Students were given an option to share their thoughts or to pass. Most chose to share.

It was a wonderful experience. Holding the objects seemed to keep us all focused and our comments relatively brief. We all learned more about what's going on with each other in our "real lives." Our subsequent discussions and learning also seemed to be better focused and less "frantic." We've spent time on previous occasions sharing information with each other - but this opportunity exceeded my expectations. We'll definitely do it again.

I also taught a group of a adult learners, about half of whom are beginning their Jewish teaching experiences. The remainder of the class has significant years of experience. The challenge was to establish a sense of community so that our learning experience together is enhanced and personal. As I searched for a new "ice breaker," I settled on a think-pair-share activity in which partners described both their favorite teacher ever - AND their least favorite teacher, providing reasons for each selection. Each person shared their partner's responses with the group.

This experience, too, was a profound one for the group. Individuals connected with each other and talked one-on-one about successes and failures they'd experienced in a classroom. Partners shared abridged information with the whole group, uniformly treading gently and respectfully as they shared about their partner's difficulties with their least favorite teacher. The class as a whole learned that they share a value for certain characteristics in educational leaders - and grimmaced in empathy as people discussed the characteristics of their least favorite teacher. Subsequent discussions reached an honest depth that often doesn't occur with a group that's just beginning its work together.

Taken together - what do these experiences reinforce for me? That it's critical to spend the time developing relationships with the individuals I teach.

The old adage rings true: They [students] don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care.

Only after they know how much we care, can we help them "engage" in "enduring understandings" and "deep learning."

Sh-e-e-e-e's B-a-a-a-ck!

2010-01-01T10:14:00.001-05:00

It's been a long time since I posted regularly - a couple of postings on Torah study sessions I facilitated this fall, but nothing regular since mid-October. If you've been checking regularly without seeing a new post, thanks for coming back. I'll see if I can post more regularly in the months ahead.

Here's are some of the topics I hope to address (in no apparent order!) in the weeks ahead:

Relationships with learners
The biggest challenge in establishing a madrichim program
Is there a place for "frontal" learning?
"Celebrating Calm" - Kirk Martin's approach to working with "intense" kids
Book Reviews
Using technology effectively
"Schools that Work"
Building community
Professional development

Aren't we lucky? We get TWO new years to celebrate each year - a second chance to pull things together and get back on the path we'd like to be on. So here's to new beginnings!

Shabbat Veyetze

2009-11-27T21:30:00.016-05:00

When I first read this triennial portion (31:17-32:3), my first thought was “darn” – all the good stuff is in the first two sections of the parshah: Jacob runs away, sees angels on a ladder, meets Rachel, works 7 years, marries Leah, works another 7 years, marries Rachel, works another six years, Leah has kids, Rachel wants kids, handmaidens have kids, Rachel has Joseph – and that’s before we even get to this year’s portion. As the teacher’s guide for this week’s parshah on G-dcast says,

“It’s hard to understand the significance of Vayetze without comparing it to a story of similar breadth and importance in our own culture: Gone with the Wind, for instance, or the first episode of 90210. In this parsha, we see the culmination of Abraham’s past with his future, and all his family fights; Vayetze sets the stage for all the future family battles, as well. From here, Jacob’s twelve sons will start resenting Joseph, and fighting, which will cause the entire nation of Israel to move into Egypt and become slaves…But we’re not there yet. For now, think of this as the pilot episode for what is to come.”

Question: What foreshadowing or themes do you see in this chapter?

Rabbi Aaron Pankin of the URJ, refers to the two monuments Jacob builds during this parshah – one at the beginning of the parshah, after his dream; and one at the end of the parshah [in the section we read today] as Jacob begins his journey home.

On the level of p'shat (the simple, direct meaning), these monuments serve as markers of agreements––first between Jacob and God, and then between Jacob and Laban. On a deeper level, they create timeless memorials to Jacob's vast change and growth.
Jacob builds his first monument (Genesis 28:22) immediately after his famous dream of the ladder connecting earth to heaven, when he notes God's presence in a most unexpected place. Lost and alone, Jacob is the quintessential adolescent: He is alienated from his nuclear family and in search of lasting love, somewhat misunderstood by the world, on an intense personal journey, but not yet fully able to articulate his values and commitments. He still sees the world in the binary dualities of childhood: his land versus a foreign land; heaven versus earth; Jacob versus Esau. His world is black and white, but not yet gray.

And so, Jacob arrives at his second monument in flight once again. This time Jacob's pursuer catches him, and Jacob is ready to stand up to him. This time, instead of mismanaging his human relationships and making an agreement solely with God,
Jacob reaches an agreement with Laban. This second monument represents the newly adult Jacob, who, in a more spotted, more speckled, far-grayer way, is able to maturely and honestly coexist with those around him, despite their differing ideals and desires. Jacob shows us that God is in that place, too. But this time, he knows it as an adult and gives us a powerful model for the mediation of competing ideals and desires in our own adult religious lives.

Rabbi Kerry Olitsky says:

Social psychologist and researcher Bethamie Horowitz has taught us through her work that Jewish identities are not static. Rather, like Jacob, our identities are reflective of our journeys. They continue to evolve throughout our lives. And the shortcoming of research is that it usually only gives us a snapshot of the population under study at any one moment in time. As a result, it is difficult to draw conclusions for the future from them.

Question: How do we see Jacob's behavior/identity evolve during this parshah?

Rabbi Brad Artson, of the American Jewish University, asks:

How, despite the difficulties and the disappointments [of his life in Haran], did [Jacob] manage to keep on keeping on?

For Jacob that question became especially poignant as he left the home of his father in law, Laban. Having worked for fourteen years for his two wives, Leah and Rachel, and another six years for a share in Laban’s flocks of sheep, Jacob sees twenty years living in a foreign land, away from his cherished Israel, and away from his family and his childhood haunts. Only after the fact could Jacob allow himself to see the enormity of his struggle and the extent of his own inner exile and transformation.

In Chapter 31:42, Jacob responds to Laban’s statement that everything Jacob took with him was due to Laban’s generosity. "Had not the God of my father, the God of Abraham and the Fear of Isaac, been with you, you would have sent me away empty-handed. But God took notice of my plight and the toil of my hands, and He gave judgement last night." (Etz Hayim translation)

The phrase, “had not the God of my father…” coming at the beginning of the sentence is an unusual grammatical construct. Rabbi Artson quotes three understandings of the phrase which help answer the question, How did Jacob manage to keep on keeping on?

Ancestral merit is an awareness of being connected to those who preceded us. It is found in cherishing our traditions by living them in our daily lives and by transmitting them to our children and to their children. It is a sense of identity that involves the continuing stream of Jewish people, starting with Abraham and Sarah, continuing through ourselves, and extending to each new generation of Jews. The goodness of his ancestors gave him his sense of purpose, his vision of what could be, and the ability to work toward that distant goal.

Kiddush ha-Shem, the sanctification of God, is an awareness of spirituality and the importance of making God’s presence and love a pervasive part of our consciousness and our lives. Through prayer, contemplation, song, dance, meditation, and study, we sanctify God by focusing our minds, hearts, and souls on our sacred source. Acting in a way that reflects positively on God, motivated our patriarch to live up to his ideals, to walk in God’s ways even during times of sorrow, want, and fear.

Faith and Torah translate into a devotion to the mitzvot, the 613 commandments of the Torah as understood, amplified, and defined through rabbinic interpretation (drashot) and legislation (takkanot). By regularly acting out the deep wisdom of Jewish values through concrete actions, Judaism provides a pedagogy of hands and feet, a spirituality of pots and pans, a sense of fidelity to God that extends to every aspect of our lives. Jacob was inspired by his sense of God’s presence in his life, the pervasive holiness made concrete through the mitzvot, the sacred commandments that link the Jew and God.

On those three legs, ancestral merit, sanctification of God, Torah and mitzvot, Jewish life is assured and our Jewish lives are enriched. Holiness, wisdom, and belonging are within our grasp, able to sustain and to nurture us through life’s trials, even as they did for our patriarch, Jacob.

Or, as Esther D. Kustanowitz at G-dcast sums it up: "As Jacob learned: sometimes you have to leave home to find it."

I guess it wasn't such a "dull" section of the parshah, after all!

Shabbat Noach

2009-10-23T17:55:00.004-04:00

Earlier this week, I was trying to get caught up on some of my internet reading and I happened across a blog written by a friend and colleague on Jewish Family Living. The questions she posed for families reading her blog focused on words. One in particular resonated with me: Why do you think God names things? What is the importance of a name?

I began to think of the names – the labels – we apply to the children we work with (whether our own children, or someone else’s) and the profound impact the use of those names can have on the individuals so addressed. I also was reminded anew how the use of names/labels – even when used privately, in my own mind and never spoken aloud – affects how I view a particular student. “Motor-mouth,” “whiner,” “naysayer” – all carry a connotation that’s best not even allowed to enter my mind.

Labels applied in frustration, anger or fatigue color my perspective indelibly. How much more positive are interactions with students that I describe as “eager,” “sensitive,” or “cautious.”

Those were the thoughts that framed my view of this week’s parshah. Beginning with “This is the line of Noach…” through the story of the world around him, his building the ark, the flood, the receding waters, the covenantal sign of the rainbow, the Tower of Babel, the listing of generations to the birth of Abram, and ending with the death of Terah (Abram’s father) in Haran. There’s a wealth of commentary on the story of Noah. Much less is readily accessible (ie, available online) on the remainder of the parshah.

This year’s triennial portion is Chapter 11 of B’reisheit. It begins with the words: Everyone on earth had the same language and the same words.

We know from our studies that repetitions are like flashing lights which say, “Pay attention to me!” I wonder why the repetition of “language” and “words.” They seem to mean the same thing. How are they the same? And how are they different?

The Big Question for this story seems to be “What’s so bad about building a Tower?” And in fact, our text never gives an explicit answer to this question.

Chapter 11:8 Let us build us a city, and a tower with its top to the sky, to make a name for ourselves; else we shall be scattered all over the world.

God, in essence, then says, “Well, if that’s how you’re going to behave, then I’ll scatter you anyway.”

But it doesn’t really say what specifically God was objecting to – building a city; building a tower; building a tower to the sky; or making a name for themselves. That’s called “Missing Information,” and all commentators can do is try to fill the gaps.

And so, over the course of time, a variety of “explanations” have been suggested:

Rabbi Boruch Leff: When man can accomplish all that he wishes to accomplish, he does not need God. Witness that they left 'from the east.' The previous reference to 'the east' was to the Garden of Eden (Genesis 2:8). They wished to leave the closest possible place to God that existed then and wanted to forge their own destiny without God's assistance. They wished to build a unifying city and tower but specifically wanted to begin the building in a valley. Although the usage of a hill or mountain would facilitate making the tower as high as possible, they didn't want to use anything natural or 'God-made'. There was no room for God's involvement in their project.
Louis Ginzburg, Legends of the Jews; "Come, let us build us a city and a tower." Many, many years were spent building the tower. It reached so great a height that it took a year to mount to the top. A brick was, therefore, more precious in the sight of the builders than a human being. If a man fell down and met his death, none took notice of it; but if a brick dropped, they wept, because it would take a year to replace it. So intent were they upon accomplishing their purpose that they would not permit a woman to interrupt her work of brickmaking when the hour of travail came upon her. Moulding bricks, she gave birth to her child, and tying it round her body in a sheet, she went on moulding bricks.
Rabbi Matt Carl: The Torah indicates a second problem with Babel-esque development. It says that the people built the tower "to make a name for ourselves (Genesis 11:3-4).'" The builders had reputation and status on their agenda. The midrash adds that cultivating a reputation, "a name," is usually accompanied by inequality at the deepest level. Nimrod's project required enslavement of his people and abject inequality, all in the service of ego, arrogance and narcissism.
Rabbi Avi Geller (in The Lively Parshah overview) writes: The descendants of Noah all decided to live together in the great valley of Babel. They appointed the first dictator and all spoke the same language (Hebrew, according to tradition). They then decided to wage war on their Creator. "We will build a Tower to ascend Heaven and battle the Almighty!"

Others explain that they denied God's Hand in the Flood, and saw it simply as a quirk of nature. Thus it was imperative to build supports for the Heavens, to insure that they don't fall down again!

Most of these “explanations” – attempts to fill in “missing information” - are more or less familiar to many of us. I found none of them particularly satisfying to me, at this point in my life, in the year 5770.

I kept hearing the echo in my mind from verse 1 of this chapter: Everyone on earth had the same language and the same words.

Words … scrambled languages…. failure to communicate …

Within the recent past, in my professional life, there have been several instances in which communication between individuals became terribly mangled – feelings were hurt; frustration experienced; anger expressed at perceived slights.

Words….in the same language…scrambled meanings … failure to communicate

And then I stumbled across these words from Arthur Koestler, a prolific writer in 20th century Europe, a secular Jew, and recipient of the Sonning Prize at the University of Copenhagen in 1968 for “outstanding contribution to European culture.”

Language promotes communication and understanding within the group, but it also accentuates the differences in traditions and beliefs between groups; it erects barriers between tribes, nations, regions, and social classes. The Tower of Babel is an archetypal symbol of the process that turns the blessing into a curse and prevents man from reaching into heaven. According to Margaret Mead, among the two million aborigines in New Guinea, 750 different languages are spoken in 750 villages, which are at permanent war with one another.

As much as we focus on being part of one huge melting pot – or tossed vegetable salad, depending on your current frame of reference – sometimes our biggest misunderstandings arise when what I hear is not what you meant, even if I understand the words that you used. Our meanings become “babbled,” if not the actual words themselves.

So, for me, the message behind the Tower of Babel is to be mindful of the words I use – and to check for understanding as carefully in English as I do when I speak to my non-English-speaking friends.

Shabbat shalom.

Book Review: Toolbox for Teachers and Mentors

2009-10-15T08:00:00.003-04:00

Earlier this summer, a colleague sent me a link to a new book that he thought might be of interest to me. I scanned the review, ordered it, and added it to my pile of "books I really should read sooner rather than later." It's a great stack of books and currently includes the following:

Isa Aron's The Self-Renewing Congregation: Organizational Strategies for Revitalizing Congregational Life
Olitzky & Sabath's Striving Toward Virtue: A Contemporary Guide for Jewish Ethical Behavior
Rabbi Levi Meier's Seven Heavens: Inspirational Stories to Elevate Your Soul
Sedlar & Miners' Don't Retire, REWIRE!
Just ASK's Strategies in Action
Paula Rutherford's The 21st Century Mentor's Handbook

Given the fact that much of my work so far this academic year has been focusing on working with madrichim and their supervising teachers, I bumped Richard and Elaine Solomon's Toolbox for Teachers and Mentors to the top of my list.

I'm glad I did!

It's a fairly easy read, since much of the "teaching" is done in the form of a dialogue between madrichah (about to become co-teacher on her way to being a novice teacher) and mentor. Educationalese is translated into English (I'm not as well versed in educationalese as I might be); pragmatic examples for a Jewish educational setting are provided (either day school or supplemental school); there are charts and forms to use in helping to categorize or plan out specific strategies.

As I was reading, and thinking.... and then reading and thinking some more.... the thought occured that this could well be a handbook or source text if we ever were able to get our Midrashah L'Morim program going again. There are also huge segments that we could use in our regional training programs for beginning/novice teachers. The only area I think gets a little short-shrift is the area of learning disabilities - although they do a good job of presenting learning differences and multiple intelligences.

The challenge for me, now, is to go back and engage in some of the exercises the Solomons suggest for their teachers-in-training in order to see if I can plug what I'm doing into the format they suggest. If I can do that, it will make it easier for me to teach others to do so.

My specific challenge? I get stuck on the words "enduring understanding" and "essential questions." I know why I think what I'm teaching is important, but have trouble articulating that importance in that specific terminology. HELP!

The book is excellent. I highly recommend it for schools looking to start a mentoring program for older madrichim; for those that have frequent staff turnover and want to provide novice teachers with a solid foundation; and for teachers who have agreed to mentor others. And it's available through Amazon.

Addendum: After writing this piece, I happened to mention to my daughter that I was struggling to articulate an enduring understanding for the madrichim course. She looked at me quizzically and said, "That's easy."

"Huh?" I responded.

She paused a moment and said, " 'All students learn differently.' That's your enduring understanding."

"Doesn't it have to include something about teaching or Jewish Ed?" I asked.

"No," she responded firmly. "All students learn differently. That's why you teach what you teach."

"Oh," I answered humbly. And then demanded: "How do you know thus stuff?"

"I took an ed course in college. Even though it was taught horrendously, I did learn stuff."

In the words of Yehuda haLevi: Much I have learned from my teachers, more from my colleagues, but most from my students. Substitute "daughter" from "students" and that describes it perfectly!

End-of-the-Holidays: A Look Ahead

2009-10-12T08:00:00.001-04:00

So what might the new year bring? "What changes can I effect to improve myself and the world I live in?" That's one of the key questions of the Fall Holiday liturgy.

In early September, I went to see my internist for a long-overdue general physical (about 3 years overdue). As we reviewed my general health and he began to order some tests and referrals (also long overdue), it dawned on me that I'd spent the last decade focusing on other family members' health and other concerns, and continuously deferred my own. (Except for the gall bladder surgery - and the sleep apnea diagnosis).

My doctor is very direct - and doesn't believe in spreading guilt or mincing words. How he is able to accomplish those two things at the same time, I will never know. But I admire him immensely for his ability to do so and am a grateful recipient of his expertise. He's also an excellent diagnostician, has a superb group of specialists he refers out to, and does a great job of serving as "case manager."

So when he looks me in the eye and says, "You've got some things to pay attention to," I sit up straight and listen.

BP - very high; LDL cholesterol is high; HDL is too low; blood sugar numbers are in the "glucose intolerance" range. He also gives me a referral to a gastroenterologist for a colonoscopy, and to a radiologist for a mammogram (long overdue, especially with my history). He prescribes a BP med, vitamin D, recommends the Mediterranean Diet, exercising, and we schedule several follow-up visits in order to monitor progress.

My dentist tells me I need dental work done.

My ophthalmologist has me scheduled for my second cataract surgery and toric implant surgery on October 14th.

I leave their offices feeling vulnerable. A little angry. Guilty for letting things get to this point.

I cling to two thoughts: my dad's favorite saying: You can't control the cards you're dealt, you can only control how you play 'em. And my internist's final comment: Change what you can - diet, exercise - but realize that part of your health and these numbers are determined by genetics. You can't control genetics.

Both are helpful - they have become my mantra.

So, changes I can make:

We've joined a CSA (Consumer Supported Agriculture group) for the fall season and will get a share of fresh vegetables each Monday to use in building our meals around.
I picked up a couple of cook books and have scanned the internet for recipes that are both kosher and fit the Mediterranean Diet.
I've begun to do a little walking - got thrown off base by Yom Kippur but will get back to it.
I'm using my CPAP machine for my sleep apnea a little more consistently - my goal is to use it 5 nights out of 7.
I've determined to pick up my knitting needles again.
Before I leave a doctor's office, I schedule my next appointment.
I had my colonoscopy - even if it was my first child's 28th birthday!
I've decided to jetison the "guilt" thing - I was busy with other people's health issues these past 10 years - and that's okay. It's done. Now it's time to take care of my own - and that's also okay.

Other changes the new year offers:

I'm teaching a course (training madrichim) at the very first synagogue I ever attended services at - where I converted with Rabbi Gene Lipman, z'l, and where my husband and I joined. Many warm and wonderful memories - it's interesting to be "on staff" there. So far, I'm loving it!

I'm also doing a series of madrichim workshops at a synagogue where I had taught for 8 years and directed for 2 years. Our "classroom" is the library, where we used to have senior staff meetings. I was surprised that there were parents who still remembered me - I left there almost eight years ago - a lifetime in a supplemental school setting!

[Note: my husband's taken to calling this year "The year that Mary revisits her roots"!]

I'm part of a planning committee that's working on our regional training in November. We're drastically changing the way we'll do things. More about that later, as things evolve.

I'm leading two Torah study sessions in the next two months: Shabbat Noach at Tikvat Israel and Shabbat Vayeshev at Oseh Shalom.

Next weekend, we celebrate the 70th birthday of a dear friend - someone who's been a mentor and helped sustain me through many of the challenges the last decade presented. Without her loving and caring, it would have been much more difficult than it was.

"To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven" (Eccl 3:1)

End-of-the-Holidays: Reflections on the Past

2009-10-11T20:00:00.002-04:00

For many of us, this time of year is filled with introspection, reviewing the past year and looking forward to the coming year. Some years, moreso than others. This has been one of those seasons for me.

I realized as some point in the middle of the holiday liturgy that this last decade has been a most difficult one for us. Beginning in January 2000, here's an abbreviated chronology:

January 2000 - a dear aunt died after heart surgery
February 2000 - my mother-in-law died unexpectedly in her sleep
Spring 2000 - trying to help one child find the "right" college, all while
grieving his grandmother
Spring 2000 - one child is grappling with clinical depression
September 2001 - one child leaves for college
September 2001 - September 11th - particularly close to home for those of us in the greater Washington DC area. Almost every family I worked with at that time was impacted directly - or had a co-worker who was.
September 2002 - our second child leaves for college; I began a new job
October 2002 - the Washington area sniper struck - six victims were killed within five miles of our house
January 2003 - I was "let go" from my job (first time ever! Two weeks before my 50th birthday)
June 2003 - began a job as interim religious school director
May 2004 - one child graduates from college; is unable to find a job
July 2004 - gall bladder surgery
July 2004 - my mother's health continues to decline; she becomes a recluse
Spring 2005 - one child developes a health condition, which results in a 10-day period of hospitalization
May 2005 - second child "walked" across the stage; graduation pending completion of several credits
November 2006 - auto accident: hit head on, car totaled; walked away with "only" a broken toe and some mobility issues
November 2006 - second child returns home, needing to complete some coursework by January
Winter-Spring 2007 - child's health problems increase
June 2007 - leave job and open my consulting business
Winter 2007-08 - child hospitalized twice
September 07 - my father has emergency surgery; does not go well; hospitalized for almost 2 weeks
Summer 08 - mom's dementia is constant; losing weight; my father struggles
Winter 08-09 - my father-in-law meets a new health challenge; we feel helpless to assist
December 09 - mom goes into home hospice care
February 09 - mom goes into a nursing home for hospice care
April 09 - spend a week with my dad and mother - dementia is total; there's no time but "right this instant" - the strain on my father is worrisome
June 09 - my mother dies - her death a release for all
August 09 - I have cataract surgery on one eye (second eye scheduled for 10/14)
September 09 - a friend of my son's from college days dies unexpectedly - from an infection picked up in the hospital. We are shell-shocked.

There have been some blessings along the way: children both graduated from college, both currently gainfully employed in jobs they like and which allow them to contribute to the communal weal; I find that my consulting business is doing well - I'm grateful for the colleagues who support me; my husband and I have celebrated 31 years of marriage - and we're still going strong! My mother's death has provided a release for many of us. It was good to spend time with my brothers and sisters-in-law when we were home for the funeral. I've been involved in starting a non-profit tzedakah organization; and currently sit on the board of another (educational) nonprofit. My child's health appears to have stabilized - and we're all rejoicing about that! Cousins' children get married - it's nice to gather for something other than funerals! We've found a place we dream about retiring to... and anticipate that the best is yet to come. We traveled to Israel.... and are determined to return. Our finances, which took a hit because of high medical costs and job changes, are beginning to stabilize and improve. Perhaps most importantly, all four of us are working -- the three of them full-time and me part-time.

In the listing of our challenges (above), I am struck by two things: 1) how truly my husband and I fit the profile as members of the "sandwich" generation; and 2) that the feelings of being overwhelmed and/or sad that I sometimes have stem from reasonable causes.

Some thoughts on looking ahead tomorrow.

Teaching YK - to First Graders????

2009-09-30T07:33:00.002-04:00

Many of us struggle with how to make the "big themes" of the High Holidays relevant to students in the early childhood years (PreK-2nd grade). We're not quite sure how to move past the "birthday of the world" or "sorry for what I did wrong" stage. Both of which, to be sure, have their place, but.... the holidays are about so much more.

Homeshuling (a blog I read daily) had a wonderful post on how to convey the concept of the "Book of Life" to her first grade students. With her permission, I share it with you.

Kol haKavod, Amy - may you continue to reach and teach!

Reflections of This High Holiday Season

2009-09-26T20:30:00.002-04:00

Shortly before Rosh Hashanah, I had an email exchange with a dear friend and colleague. An organization to which we belong is preparing to engage in a discussion of guiding principles behind some of its practices. My friend articulated the specific steps that would guide this process of re-examination and asked for comments. I responded by sharing that I had once belonged to a 12-step group in which the discussion leader frequently used the phrase “the best of me connects with the best of you.” My friend's leadership in clearly articulating the respectful process to be used, I said, would allow the best in each of the participants in the discussions to rise to the occasion.

He responded by thanking me for my comments and then posed the following:

“I have to admit it sometimes feels harder to maintain my equanimity. Maybe I’m getting older and have been doing this too long??”

There have been several instances in the last year, where I’ve found myself asking the same question. The same – or similar – issues seem to recur in a variety of setting. The first time the situation comes up and I’m called upon to provide the guidance (generally in the form of establishing a process for the resolution of the issue), I’m able to do so with a sense of calmness and patience as we (the group and I) establish the ground rules for discourse, decision-making, resolution, whatever. By the fifth or sixth time a variation on the same theme occurs, a change in my response occurs:

I find myself making certain basic assumptions about the process and group interactions – and assume that we’re all starting at the same place.
I am less likely to explain the guiding principles that have informed and shaped the recommendations I’m making.
My explanations become a little more clipped – my tone a little more abrupt.
I feel a sense of weariness, frustration, sometimes futility - and I begin to wonder if it's worth it.

And, like my friend, I begin to wonder if the difficulty in retaining my sense of balance is because I’m getting older and have been doing this too long?

So, his question rang true.

Coming, as it did, right before the beginning of the ten days of introspection between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, I’ve found myself reflecting on it frequently. I didn’t answer then, but here’s what I’d say now:

“Too long” is hard to define. I think there comes a point at which the guidance we’re being asked to provide is so second-nature to us that we forget that many of the people we work with have not reached that point of automaticity in their problem-solving responses. Especially when we end up working with the same group of people (or similar groups of people), we expect that because we’ve laid out the information before – they get it. They remember. They’ve seen it work. Our street “cred” is good. It hardly bears repeating.
What we forget is that even when the organizations are the same, the people we’re interacting with at this point are not. They may not have participated in earlier problem-solving opportunities – either because they weren’t part of the group then, or because it wasn’t “their” issue.
What we forget is that in many environments or cultures (workplace or volunteer), the goal is “winning” – not necessarily coming up with a solution that “everyone can live with.”
What we forget is that often the goal of so-called “discussions” is really to convince others of the rightness of our viewpoint, instead of encouraging individuals to really listen and hear what the other is saying.

Perhaps part of the solution might be to recognize what we forget. Another part might be to try and approach repeating situations as new. Yet a third part might involve finding someone safe to discretely vent to – without a safety valve, it’s hard to prevent frustration from seeping out. Another suggestion might be to remind ourselves that our approaches have resulted in positive outcomes in the past – and that the guidance we provide helps keep the discussion focused on the issues instead of deteriorating into personalities.

And part of it might be forgiving ourselves when we feel frustrated or impatient. And remembering that feeling impatient is different from acting impatiently.

May the year ahead be filled with blessings and growth for all of us.

Get Set....

2009-09-06T08:06:00.007-04:00

Wow: two weeks plus since I posted last. The time has flown by, with some wonderful experiences between "then" and "now."

Two of the most energizing involve my work with madrichim/teen aides.

The first (on August 27th) was a new leadership training module I developed and used in working with a group of teens whose assignments are different from our typical "classroom aides." Typically, most of the training I do is with teens who work under the direction of a teacher or group leader. The adult is present to give direction, refer things back to, and adapt the daily plan to what actually occurs.

This particular group of teens, however, has the responsibility for Shabbat morning programming for students. The plans are developed by the director or his assistant, but the teens run the program from start to finish.

Clearly, my standard workshop focusing on "teacher-in-the-room, watch-for-cues, be-responsive-and-anticipate-teacher/student-needs" wasn't going to cut it.

Fortunately, the University of Florida has a wonderful series on youth leadership developed for their 4-H teen leaders. It has some fantastic material on leadership focus, and styles of leadership. Combining that material with some of the Jewish values material I've developed and used over the years gave us a wonderful program. The students were engaged, asked great questions and were able to apply the content to examples in their own lives -- and see how it could be relevant for their work this coming year. We ended the session with a work period in which they were able to "block out" their first session of the school year.

This was a new area of focus for me -- and I'm thrilled it worked out as well as it did!

~~~~~

August 30th was the date of the "1st Annual NoVa Madrichim Training Course" - a five-hour program designed to provide classroom madrichim with some basic skills in

clarifying their roles and identifying their responsibilities
teaching to different learning styles
respectful classroom management

In addition to the "general" program, we offered a simultaneous program for more advanced madrichim who wanted to increase their knowledge and skills in working with students with special needs. The SNAP (Special Needs Assistance Program) component was led by a colleague from the Partnership for Jewish Life and Learning.

As the first program of this nature, we had high hopes, but no track record to guide us in planning.

The end result was fantastic: we had 85 teens from nine congregations participate in our day's training. In addition to the SNAP Program Facilitator, we had eight facilitators who led small groups of 8-10 teens in three 50-minute workshops. We had bagels and cream cheese... and pizza for lunch: 35 pizzas, to be exact. We sang some songs, did some text study, and guided students through the reflective practice that we hope will be part of their professional lives.

But the best part? (Other than the 85 kids!) They filled out evaluations! I'd worked with a specialist at the Partnership to devise an evaluation that would both provide quantifiable data and be open-ended enough to "take a pulse" of what the madrichim were thinking.

The results were stupendous: 75% said they'd recommend the training for new madrichim; and 75% said they'd return next year, if we expanded upon existing content or added additional content. Additionally, they provided such suggestions as "break us into groups according to the age student we'll be working with," and "all madrichim should have some knowledge of working with kids with special needs," and "can we do 'a life in the day of a madrich'?" It'll take a while to organize all the information we received. I'm really glad that I got help with the evaluatation form - the info I received was more complete than I would have gotten otherwise.

One more critical piece of information to share with you: this program was funded in part by a grant from our local Federation, which provides cluster grants for "Innovations in Congregational Education." Thanks, Federation!

~~~~~

So, school's drawing nearer - the pace is accelerating.... Are you ready?

On Your Mark...

2009-08-20T07:15:00.006-04:00

The pace has really accellerated this past week or so. It usually does, in August, but this year, the summer was busier than usual. Here's a recap:

June began with our air conditioner needing replacement (a necessity in the Washington DC area!).
My mother died shortly thereafter, after a long illness. I spent a week with my father and brothers.
We received notice of grant funding for Madrichim (teen aide) training, to be held on August 30th.
A colleague contracted for a major curriculum rewrite - we worked together over 25 hours between the end of June and the end of July.
Our kitchen, dining room and hallway were painted and "re-staged."
I met with another client to plan some family programs with her.
We went to Israel.
I wrote lessons and teacher guides for the Madrichim Training - and submitted two of them to a publisher who'd asked me to develop some materials for madrichim training.
We staffed the Training session and distributed teaching materials to the facilitators.
Five directors spoke to me about doing training workshops - three for staff orientations, and two for training during the school year.
I met with another colleague, who's piloting an innovative idea for family education.
I had eye surgery (successfully!)
We received notice of funding for another large program (Lev B'Lev - "Heart to Heart") in Northern Virginia that I'll be facilitating again this year, in January.
Materials for that program were compiled, duplicated and will be distributed at a regional directors' meeting next week.
And there's been the usual complement of volunteer work: meetings (committee and board), knitting, Mitzvah Heroes work.

Whew! I knew the summer was busy as the weeks were passing - but, wow! I really did get a lot more accomplished than I thought. My "to-do" lists have seemed unending - I hadn't really focused on the "Done" part of the list until now.

That's the recap. Tomorrow begins the Hebrew month of Elul - which is a preparation month in anticipation of Rosh Hashanah (the Jewish New Year) and Yom Kippur (the Day of Atonement): a month in which we focus on how the past year has gone and what we look forward to in the year ahead.

Stay tuned!

Update: The Chesed Center

2009-08-11T10:25:00.003-04:00

Just a note to update my previous entry on Mercaz Chesed.

Monday, in looking at the photos that Avichai shared with us, Steve pointed out that the lettering on the side of the van in one of the pictures says, "Afikim b'Negev."

Afikim b'Negev is an organization composed of a number of families who moved to the S'derot area some time before the bombing from Gaza began. Their purpose was to work to improve the lives of many living in S'derot.

Over time, Afikim B'Negev has made significant contributions: among them, the outdoor play area I referenced earlier; providing portable block parties for kids in S'derot ("the playground comes to them instead of them going to the playground"); converting underground shelters into attractive, functional spaces that can be used for after-school tutoring and programs -- you get the idea.

Afikim B'Negev is also one of the Mitzvah Hero organizations supported by the Mitzvah Heroes Fund. For information how to support this organization, and other Mitzvah heroes I've discussed (Meled, Crossroads, Atzum, the Rabbanit Kapach), here's the link to our donation page.

~~~~~~~~~~

Enjoy the last couple of weeks of summer - I'm scrambling to prepare for back-to-school sessions!

I can't believe it's the middle of August and I haven't done my annual back-to-school (delusional) shopping. I wonder if that means I've finally outgrown that compulsion???

The Chesed Center

2009-08-09T08:08:00.006-04:00

One of the most amazing hours we spent in Israel was the hour we spent with Avichai Amusi.
Nine years ago Avichai initiated the Mercaz Chesed center in S’derot that he runs full time as a volunteer.

The Chesed Center, under Avichai’s leadership, manages to accomplish the following:

reclaim food that would otherwise be unused (produce grown in the area by local kibbutzim and moshavim, (farms) that’s not “pretty” enough to be purchased)

package the reclaimed food into bags to be distributed to hungry people in S’derot and the surrounding area

distribute the food bags to approximately 600 families a week

prepare and feed lunch to approximately 150 additional people a day

maintain a clothing center where people can buy a “gently used” or brand-new (donated) article of clothing – for a few shekels

run a young parenting room, filled with floor-to-ceiling bookshelves, a wide assortment of toys and games, and other baby/toddler equipment – all available for parents to borrow and then return when they are done.

distribute formula and diapers (when they have them to give away) to families that need them

provide an opportunity for parent education and for parents to meet and talk with others.

Mind-boggling, isn’t it? That one organization can manage to accomplish so much – efficiently.

Even more amazing is that all the work is done by volunteers. Avichai volunteers* his time and his energy. Volunteers pack the food bags. Other volunteers help cook and clean up after meals. People donate clothing (new and “gently used). More people have donated supplies for the parenting room.

All donated.
Everything.
All used to fill critical needs.
Without spending money on overhead.
Just doing.

Look closely at the picture on the left. The tables are cleaned and ready to go for the next meal.

Notice the flowers on the table? I don't know about you, but we don't usually have flowers on our table unless we have a guest - or it's a holiday.

Flowers on a table when hungry people are being feed. To me that speaks to several things: hiddur mitzvah/"making beatiful" the performance of a mitzvah; hachnasat orchim/welcoming guests; and -- perhaps most important -- kavod/respect.

I saw the same look in Avichai’s eyes as I saw in the Rabbanit Kapach’s eyes: the awareness that the work they are engaged in is sacred work. That it must be done. And that, somehow, people will be generous in donating their time, energy, money and stuff in order to get the job done.

Truly Mitzvah heroes.

A special thanks to Karyn London, of Atzum, who was willing to edit this piece before I published it. Todah rabbah, Karyn!

Totally Random, Disconnected Musings About Israel

2009-08-07T08:00:00.002-04:00

Israeli drivers drive like bats (you know, "bats out of.....") BUT we didn't see a single red-light runner.

Traffic lights in Jerusalem and Tel Aviv are timed so that you can only get half-way across the street at a time. Fortunately, there's a median in the middle where you can wait until the light indicates it's safe to cross the second half of the steet.

No right turn on red meant we didn't have to play dodge 'em with cars wanting to turn right while we were crossing the street.

Didn't see any "don't block the box" signs.... but also didn't see anyone blocking the box.

North of Tel Aviv, we began to see some green stuff growing; almost totally covering the brown soil. But still too much brown and not enough green for my psyche.

(Left) Jerusalem hills from the Old City, in August.

(Right) Wisconsin farmland, early summer

Next time, we'll make a conscious effort to see more green spaces - the Golan and the Galilee are supposed to be beautiful and green. Our son says there's nothing like a walk around the Kinnert after dark.

Neither of the Israeli hotels we stayed in had washclothes. Getting a towel wet to cool down our faces seemed like over-kill. Next time, we'll bring a few extra washclothes.

Speaking of hot faces, next time, we'll cut up some old t-shirts into wash-cloth sized pieces. I'll stash several in my purse. As we are out "enjoying" the heat, I'll have something to dry my face and neck with during our "pause that refreshes."

We'll do a better job of looking for brochures about the places we see. There was a lot of verbal information, but very little written info to jog the memory a couple of days later.

We'll continue to take cabs everywhere. How much fun not to have to drive!

Probably won't do a July or August visit - one cab driver said, "I don't understand you tourists. I'm glad you're here, it helps the economy. But why don't you come in October or November or December when it's really beautiful? January and February aren't so great. And I'd avoid March. But October and November - that's when you should come." I think we'll take him up on his advice.

If we go during the school year and class is in session, I'd like to sit in on a class at Meled, if that wouldn't be a violation of any kid's privacy. I love to watch experts at work - I get really revved up again and think all things are possible.

When we go again, I'll pack a bunch of good sci fi for Caryn Green's library at Crossroads. I'm thinking maybe some Heinlein and Assimov.

We'll have dinner at the Village Green again in Jerusalem and we'll hit Benedict's for shashuka again. Maybe Renee (pictured right, waving) will still be working there: that would be awesome!

We'll make a conscious effort to find a felafal stand and some schwarma - didn't get either this time, which was a mild disappointment balanced (for me) by my discovery of shashuka.

We really didn't meet any rude Israelis.... I kept waiting to see if we would. We weren't crazy about our tour guide - but he wasn't rude: just not the right guide for us.

Next time, perhaps we'll rent a guide and do a self-designed tours. But if we'd done that, we wouldn't have met Susan and Steve Grad.

Next time, we'll look for a non-stop flight from Ben Gurion to either Newark or Philadephia. The six hour-layover in Madrid was very frustrating.

I'm really glad we took our first trip together - that it was new for each of us: no preconceived notions or prior experiences to live up to.

Neal got his dream of swimming in the Mediterranean and was thrilled when he watched a ball game on TV and found he could understand enough of what was going on.

The El Al security desk in Madrid (going into Ben Gurion) was curious about our names: "Meyerson," he said, "Isn't that the name of someone famous? Are you related?" "Golda," we answered "was a Myerson before she became Meier." "No," he shook his head, "Someone other that Golda. Who was it?" We had no clue and only later remembered that Neal's grandfather Philip had received several thank you letters written shortly after the establishment of the State of Israel for his work in fundraising. Letters thanking him came from Chaim Weitzman, Albert Einstein, and Eddie Cantor. Maybe this young man was taking a course about that time and came across those letters? Who knows? In any event, Irv's making copies for us. Next time, maybe we'll take the letters with us.

I was surprised by how many words of Hebrew I was understanding by the end of the trip, compared to the beginning.

Next time....

If I Could Have One Wish

2009-08-06T14:00:00.006-04:00

It was a wonderful trip, in many ways, and a different kind of a trip than I suspect many people think of when they talk of "going to Israel."

Many people decide to try and see as much of the land of Israel as possible - from the Golan to the Eilat, from the Dead Sea to Haifa, and all spots in between.

The first decision that Neal and I made was that this might be our first trip to Israel, but it wasn't going to be our last. Therefore, we didn't have to try and fit everything in during an 8-day period of time.

Simultaneously, we decided that we were going to focus a significant amount of our time getting to know some of the Mitzvah heroes that The Mitzvah Heroes Fund, Inc. supports. It was important to me to begin to put some of the names and faces together - to begin to breath life into the websites I've researched and the emails we've exchanged in the 15 months that the MHF has been in existance.

We didn't expect our trip to necessarily be "fun" - because issues of hunger, PTSD, abuse, and destructively low self esteem aren't "fun." And we were right - much of our trip wasn't fun.

What was it?

Provocative.
Eye-opening.
Meaningful.
Significant.

And ultimately: Transformative.

Many of the individuals we met are in my thoughts when I wake up in the morning, and among the last people I think of at night.

The Rabbanit Bracha Kappach, who's been feeding hungry people for 45 years;

Karyn London from Atzum, and our host at the new JNF
"blue box" in S'derot

Avichai who runs the most amazing volunteer organization at the Chesed Center, providing food, clothing and parenting resources for hundreds. [ADDENDUM (Aug 9): Here's a link to a more complete description of the work Avichai does.]

Arnie Draiman, tour guide extraordinaire, who does the vetting MHF needs in order to ensure the groups we support are using their funds wisely

Caryn Green, from Crossroads, who provides a haven for teens who are lost and have difficulty find a purpose or a goal to strive for

If I had six wishes, I'd have you meet all the Mitzvah do-ers Neal and I met. It's a rare privilege to have the opportunity to talk with people who consistently make a significant difference in the lives of others.

But, if I had only one wish - this is what I'd wish for every person I know who works with kids - as a teacher, program/school director, youth worker, lay leader involved in congregational education, think-tank person who writes about educations... any one and every one who has a stake in "our kids."

A chance to spend one hour, listening to and talking with Menachem Gottesman, founder and director of the Meled School. Menachem's school is a school of last resort for many kids - teens who have dropped out or been kicked out of other schools and sometimes kicked out of their homes as well. Menachem talks about the type of school he runs: "It's a cardiac care unit," he explains. First, he adds, they fix the kids' hearts .... and then, (and only then) they work on the academics.

An hour with Menachem reminds us that all kids are only kids. That all kids have potential. That it's worth spending the time and energy to "invest" in our future - our kids.

For every teacher, every director, every youth worker who's burned out and tired of trying to fit square pegs into the round holes of our schools, an hour with Menachem would have them seriously considering how to make the holes square instead of the pegs round.

An hour with Menachem, with someone who honestly, sincerely believes that kids are worth the effort....

An hour with Menachem, who's realistic about the challenges involved in caring about kids who don't seem to want anyone to care about them....

That's what I wish for all of us.

JNF's New "Big Blue Box"

2009-08-02T21:30:00.006-04:00

Before we left S'derot with Karyn London, we decided to try and find the new indoor playground in S'derot. We asked someone for directions and were told "Look for the big blue box." Sure enough, we found it at the end of the street!

The inside of the building was just as welcoming as the entrance - and even more amazing!

There were areas for little kids to play "pretend" and to jump and roll around;

DDR stations; basket ball hoops and punching bags; a half-length soccer field with goals;

a climbing wall; a fuse-ball (!) table; and even a separate space for teens to have dances!

For so many of the kids (who are struggling with PTSD), perhaps the most important space was this one:

a place where parents can hang out comfortably, yet be in clear view of their children!

The facility has a computer room, an arts and crafts room, party rooms (one with "boy" decor and one with "girl" decor), and a comfortable area to have snacks.

As you can see, the colors are bright and cheerful; the facility is well lit; and kids can do the running and jumping and bouncing that kids need to do.

What you don't see is how the building has been reinforced. Not only has extra reinforcement been added to the structure itself, but each individual room within the "big blue box" has been reinforced as if it were a stand-alone bomb shelter. It's that extra that makes the kids -- and their families -- feel secure here.

I used to think JNF's job was growing trees. I guess they're in the business of "growing kids," too.

For more information about the Sderot Indoor Recreation Center, click here.

Pluralism in Israel?

2009-07-30T20:35:00.002-04:00

Rabbi Michael Marmur, the Reform Rabbi who gave the d'var torah the Shabbat that we were in Jerusalem, has some interesting comments on the issue of pluralism in Israel in a Thursday, July 30th blog for the Jerusalem Post. One of the key paragraphs is as follows:

In one session, a panel comprising principals from four Israeli schools discussed dilemmas of pluralism as they encounter them every day in the field. It is interesting to note that this discussion included important figures from the Modern Orthodox community, as well as the "usual suspects." Increasingly, it is becoming clear that the divisions in Israeli society are not between those who belong to one team and those who belong to another - the Sharks against the Jets, Middle East Side Story. Rather, the conflict is between those who insist on imposing their will exclusively on the rest of us, and those of us who prefer to live in the midst of difference and diversity.

Read the whole thing and tell me what you think!

Thanks, Neal, for sending the link!

"Put It on Pause!"

2009-07-30T09:25:00.000-04:00

That's what my kids used to shout when they needed to take a short break from what they were involved with in order to attend to life-details.

And that's what I've had to do this week: put this blog on pause.

Between jet lag and resulting brain- and body-fog, trying to get back into the swing of work and meetings, and just "life stuff" -- the time to write simply hasn't been available.

Hopefully, I'll be back in the swing of things shortly: I still have a few more things I'd like to share about our experiences in Israel.

In the meantime - I'd welcome your thoughts and reactions to any of the posts I've written. I'll try to respond and maybe we all can get a dialogue going! Wouldn't that be fun/interesting?

S'derot: The City That Survives

2009-07-26T05:41:00.004-04:00

“Israelis say that Haifa is the city that works,” our guide on the coastal tour said last Tuesday, “Tel Aviv is that city that dances. Jerusalem is the city that prays.” We were in Haifa at the time, and everyone on the bus smiled appreciatively.

The following day, Neal and I went to S’derot, with Karyn London from Atzum. Karyn, as I’ve written before, is the Social Worker for the Roberta Project for Survivors of Terror.

How would one describe S’derot?

It’s very different from the other Israeli cities Neal and I have stayed in, toured in, or been driven through. The other cities are teeming with activity: people walking and talking, automobile traffic, kids playing in parks, people shopping, horns blaring.

S’derot (on the day we were there) was quiet, with few people on the sidewalks, and less automobile traffic. That may have been partially because we were in primarily residential areas, and the open-air market was not operating that day. Or it may have been because many of the residents of S’derot have lived for the last 10 years with regular bombardments of kassam missiles by terrorists from the Gaza strip- approximately 2 miles away. As a result of Operation Lead Cast (from December 2008 – January 2009), the missiles have been almost silenced, at least temporarily.

One might think, with the danger set aside, that residents of S’derot would be out and about – enjoying the freedom to roam their city. Unfortunately, although the attacks have ceased, the fear resulting from them remains unabated for many.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a psychological disorder that many of us are unfamiliar with. It generally results from a traumatic event – physical or psychological – and manifests itself in a variety of ways. Paralyzing fear is triggered by sights, smells, sounds, or memories of the traumatic event. These triggers often occur randomly, with no prior warning. The fear causes the body to react as if it were in extreme danger and to seek to protect itself as best it can. Self-protection becomes the primary goal, frequently resulting in regression from previously-attained competencies. For example, a child (or adult) may begin bedwetting at night. Sleep disturbances are common. Clinging to a safe person in a safe place is critical.

Most of us don’t really understand the complex dynamic between fear, triggers, physiological reactions, and the body’s natural reaction to protect itself. We frequently offer well-meaning advice: “Just push through the fear” or “You can’t let the past event rule your present and future” or “Everyone’s afraid of something: just pull yourself together.” In our society, fear is often seen as a weakness, a lapse of moral fiber, something that can be conquered with just a little willpower.

If only it were that easy.

It’s not.

I can’t begin to envision what it must be like to live through attack after attack; to see my children injured; to experience such profound fear myself and yet know I must find a way to help my child heal. This in addition to the physical injuries resulting from such attacks and the loss of property – and the sense of violation that comes with those losses.

These are the people that Karyn works with. Atzum helps by providing direct services – money for therapeutic swimming lessons or tutoring for a child who’s missed too much school because fear keeps him/her glued to a mother’s side. Atzum also helps provide indirect services – helps survivors navigate the bureaucracy in order to obtain necessary disability payments or home repairs or career training for a life that’s been altered.

Neal and I had the privilege of making three home visits with Karyn on Wednesday.

The first family – mom, 15 year-old daughter, and 9 year old son – still struggle with the aftereffects of a rocket hitting their home. And, oh yes, Mom’s mother who’s had a severe stroke lives with them – lying on a bed in the living room. Mom suffers from mental illness resulting from earlier attacks; also, the son’s vision is impaired and he lost almost a year of schooling because he was unable to leave the house due to fear. The daughter has participated in leadership programs in England and New Jersey – and behind her bright sunny smile, one can see the fear in her eyes when she talks about hearing the missile hit their home. Atzum is paying for the son’s tutoring in hopes that he will be able to re-join his class in September. Karyn’s encouraging both children to participate in after-school chuggim/clubs this coming school year, but a final decision has not yet been made. It’s a testament to how safe the son feels with Karyn that he’s willing to leave the apartment to show us the reinforced, “safe” outdoor playground. He demonstrates the apparatus for us, climbs through the caterpillar and generally acts like a giggly, nine year old boy who’s loving the attention. But the playground is a short car ride away – there’s no place near his apartment for him to play outside safely. So most of his time is spent indoors. It seems safer.

The second family is fairly new on Karyn’s caseload: two children, a mom and a dad. The dad’s PTSD first manifested itself in the early 1980’s as a result of his army duty in the late 1970’s. Mom’s PTSD is of more recent inception. She used to support her family by cleaning houses. Now, neither she nor dad is able to leave their apartment. Recently they needed to make a choice – tutoring for the almost-bar mitzvah aged son? Or shoes for him? … They chose shoes. It’s hard to envision needing to make such a basic choice.

The last family we visit is a more financially stable family. The first attack destroyed their roof; the second one hit the front room of their house. Mom relayed that after the attacks her now-ten year old son began to wet the bed, refuses to leave the house without her, and sleeps with her at night. She quit her job because he was unable to function without her physically near him. He’s agreed just this summer to attend camp each morning, allowing Mom to work four hours a day, but refuses to go on field trips to the swimming pool with his camp group. Mom’s working on establishing support groups for others in their situation and has a proposal pending for an afterschool program/ curriculum to be introduced in S'derot to help the children understand what’s happening to them, and empower them. And by the way, did I mention that when he was eight, he wrote a letter to then Prime Minister Ehud Olmert which was published in Maariv newspaper asking for him to protect his school?

Karyn works with approximately 15 such families in S’derot (in addition to families across the entire State of Israel who are survivors of other terror attacks). Most of the families she works with are people who would otherwise fall through the cracks. Historically, many families in S’derot lived a marginal existence even before the rockets began to fall. There’s no industry in S’derot. The train from Tel Aviv doesn’t go that far.

It would be easy to think of the families Karyn works with as “victims.” She – and we – prefer to think of them as “survivors” whose daily lives demonstrate great courage.

CORRECTION:
I was in error by saying "There's no industry in S'derot." From my friend and colleague, Arnie Draiman, comes the following: "There is a LOT of industry in S'derot. a big industrial park with some of the biggest names in Israel there - Osem, for example."

Todah rabah, Arnie: thanks for the info.
7/30/09

Shabbat Shalom - from Home

2009-07-24T11:28:00.002-04:00

Neal and I arrived back home late last night. The trip was not easy, but eventually we arrived in the middle of a fantastic thunder and lightning storm, and awoke to the sound of rain this morning.

More to come on Israel in the week ahead:
Our trip to S'derot
JNF's New Blue Box
The Miracle Maker
Odds & Ends and an Afterword

Wishing you a sense of peace this Shabbat -

A New State in an Ancient Land

2009-07-23T06:52:00.009-04:00

The Palmach Museum, which Neal and I visited on Monday, July 21st, had been on several "must-see/do" lists we got from friends while planning our travels. Our son actually said, "If you don't do anything else, you have to go to the Palmach." Pretty high praise indeed.

So a few words of context:

The Palmach was one of the groups that formed during the British Mandate to begin to prepare an Army to fight for Israel's independence. (A couple of other names that might be familiar: the Irgun, the Hagannah, the Stern Gang). All of these organizations fell somewhere along the spectrum of independence fighters. Some were more radical than others and functioned along the lines of the Sons of Liberty (from America's pre-Independence War Days).

The Museum itself requires admission tickets for a specific time of day; the tour lasts for 90 minutes; group size is limited; and the visitors receive a recorded translation of the Hebrew keyed to the specific information at each given display or exhibit.

Much like the American Holocaust Memorial Museum's "Daniel's Story," the Palmach Museum uses a group of individuals to represent the living history of the time period under discussion. This story focuses on a group of approximately 8-10 older teens or 20-somethings who become a small unit in the late 1930's or early 40's. The exhibit traces their growth and development both as individuals and as a unit, representing the hundreds of young men and women who had similar experiences during these years.

Each display area included life-sized models, usually behind a black transparent curtain, arranged in a "typical" staging; with black and white videos of the characters shown either behind the scene or on an adjacent background. The area in which the museum visitors stand also has props and scenery which evoke the setting. One of the scenes actually has a model whose facial features (and mouth!) move in response to the audio recording.

The entry point and exit point are through the same room: a dimly lit room, with the names of all the Palmach soldiers who died in the fight for Israel's freedom etched into a glass counter-high display that is parallel to three of the four sides of the room. The counter is uplit in green. Each name is provided, without rank or other destinguishing feature, so that each individual's contribution (his/her life) is equal to every other individual's contribution.

On the wall, in white, lit-up Hebrew and English letters are the words of the Israeli poet, Nathan Alterman:

We
Are the silver platter
On which the Jews' state
Was presented today
It was a "nice, thematic, expression" as we walked into the exhibit area. As we came out, we read those words again, which had become more heavily charged with meaning as a result of what we had experienced.

===========

Reactions? Many, deeply felt; interwoven typically with my own experiential filters through which I (we all?) try to make sense of new information.

I am 56 years years old. Although we lived for a short time in Madison (from 9/65-2/69), most of my formative years were spent in the small towns and farmlands of midstate Wisconsin.

The Gulf of Tonkin Resolution was passed by Congress in August 1964, giving LBJ the authority to wage war in Vietnam. I was 11 and a half. A scant two years later, a family friend was on the front lines in DaNang and Hue. Although we were terrified for him, he was convinced that being an American meant being willing to be part of her armed services. Dennis was followed by Tim a few years later (in 1971).

Tim's unit was adopted by my dormitory floor -- and we wrote regularly to let them know of our support. Many of them, by that time, had questions about whether the US should be in Vietnam. Tim felt - more than anything - that we were blessed to have a country where freedom played such a primary role and that he had an individual responsibility to try to help straighten out the corruption in South Vietnam so that her people could have the same right to freedom that we have. We corresponded for the entire two years he was overseas and remained in touch until I moved east in 1976.

When I moved to the East Coast, I discovered that the pervasive expression on the War was that the US government was evil, that the soldiers that fought in her army were all baby-killers and that any American who was really patriotic should have rioted in protest or gone to Canada.

It seemed to me then, as it does now, that that's a far too simplistic response. Many of the young men I knew - Dennis, Tim, Chuck, Dan and others - had a deep and abiding love for this country: her physical land, the principles upon which she was built; and the freedoms they inherited as a result of sacrifices made by earlier Americans. They didn't necessarily agree with the politics or the implementation of the war. They were dehumanized by the protestors and paid a price for that demonization when they returned from their service.

What does that filter have to do with our experience at the Palmach Museum?

The young actors depicted in the exhibts were roughly the ages of my young friends who served in 'Nam roughly 40 years ago. The discussions they had about the "rightness" of what they were doing - the desire to establish a homeland where all Jews could be free to be Jewish - included echoes from the dialogues I participated in with my friends slightly more than a generation ago.

One of the exchanges from the movie that particularly resonnated with me was this one:

Soldier: Sir, we find ourselves in control of several hostages. What should we do with them?"
Commander (pauses, then says quietly): Whatever you think you should do.

Some of the activities shown in this exhibit include blowing up bridges and train tracks; bombing hotels; attacking villages to protect farmers living near by. I can't help but wonder whether the label "terrorist" depends in part on where one is sitting: some of these actions are similar to ones the Palestinians engage in these days.

As I was trying to sort through these memories and impressions, Neal helped me put some of it in perspective. He reminded me that every group, every country, every civilization has its own "creation story:" stories of heroism and decision that describe "how they came to be." In time, those stories become part of the shared memories and help bind the group together.

Ultimately, his comment made me realize how "detached" in many ways I am from our American experience of grasping freedom. The re-enactors at Williamsburg seem "quaint" to me. Our Israeli experience is so new, that it jars and has an immediacy that our American experience no longer has. Our "creation story" has already been codified. Israel's is still being written.

Sometimes I think we forget that although eretz Israel / the land of Israel is an ancient one, Medinat Israel / the State of Israel is still in the process of becoming.

Postscript: I just discovered this summer, while home for my mother's funeral, that Tim committed suicide within the last several years. He never quite "got over" his Vietnam experiences. Had his service been more recent, I think he might have been able to get treatment for his PTSD. May his memory be for a blessing.

Our Last Day

2009-07-22T09:54:00.002-04:00

Today was our last full day in Israel and it was a very full day, indeed.

We took the train to Ashkelon this morning to be picked up by Karyn London, of Atzum. Karyn had invited us to go to S'derot with her as she made some client visits. We met with three clients - all families of survivors of terror - and saw a remarkable one-man miracle maker who as a volunteer, and ONLY WITH VOLUNTEER ASSISTANCE

provides food for 600 people a day;
feeds an additional 150 in their soup kitchen;
runs a parent room for families to borrow books and toys (also providing families with diapers and food);
and runs a clothing center where people who need new or extremely-gently-used clothing can pay a few shekels and have something clean and in good condition to wear.

From there, we went to an indoor playground. Opened after the war and funded totally by JNF and the municipality of S'derot, this "Blue Box" is a reinforced bomb shelter which provides a wide variety of indoor recreational activities for children of all ages. A few of the activities include DDR stations, a half-size soccer field, basketball hoops and a climbing wall; foam climbing and tumbling mats for the younger set and a pre-school-sized house for the little ones to cook, clean, have tea parties, and put their "babies" to bed. It's only been opened since March, but it's a safe place for both current survivors of terror and will be available in the future, as needs arise.

That's the short version - so many impressions/feelings/thoughts rolling around. They'll need to settle before I can write more. So that's now two pieces I "owe" you - on the Palmach Museum and on S'derot.

Back at our hotel in Tel Aviv - getting ready to go out for an early dinner. Then it's packing and early to bed for a nap before the desk calls us at 2:00 am for our 2:30 pickup for Ben Gurion Airport. Our flight's at 6:10 am (Israel time); with a 6 hour layover in Madrid, we hope to land at Dulles at about 7:30 tomorrow night (EDT).

And here, I thought today was a long day!

L'hitraot / See you soon!

History - and Making History!

2009-07-21T15:28:00.002-04:00

Today was a very long, full day. From the beginning, Neal and I had talked about doing a one-day guided trip once we got to Tel Aviv. When we arrived, we looked at the brochures in the lobby - talked about options and decided to take a one-day trip up the northern coast of Israel. Today was the day.

We left the hotel at 7:15 am. That's right: 7:15 In. The. Morning. (Those of you that know me really well can quit smirking now - or your face just might freeze with that expression!).

Our group was small - about 11 people on a huge charter/tour bus. We actually got sorted out and on the road about 8:00 am and headed north of Tel Aviv to Caesarea, site of ancient Roman ruins (built during the time of Herod) and Byzantine ruins. The tour itself was an hour - we saw Herod's palace, an excavated market place along the Cardo (generic name, we learned, for the main north-south road of any town the Romans built), an ampitheater, a hippodrome (used for races) and a whole bunch of other stuff. The mosaics were still in pretty good shape in many places - Neal got some great pictures. The views of the Mediterranean from different points were absolutely gorgeous. It was a lot of walking - all out in the hot sun on sandy, gritty paths.

After an hour of walking, it was a relief to get back to the bus. It was air conditioned and the a/c worked great!

From Caesarea, we went north through the Carmel vineyards and fields to Acco (aka "Acre"), site of Crusader and, later, Turkish ruins. This was a longer walk - almost two hours - and included both interior and exterior segments. Perhaps the most interesting was seeing examples of where more recent builders had built on top of the Turkish ruins which were built on top of the Crusader ruins. Unfortunately, we didn't manage to get any written materials, so I'm rapidly forgetting what we "learned" earlier: I'm not an auditory learner.

By this time, it was 1:00 and really, really, really hot. Did I mention that the bus had a great a/c system? And that it worked really, really well?

After Acco, we had a quick lunch and then drove north to Rosh HaNikra - at the Israel/Lebanon border. Our guide explained that there were 120 km between the boarder and Beirut -- and that between the two was "no man's land" where there was no government authority to let people cross the board. We couldn't actually see into Lebanon (I remember when Neal's mom and dad went to Israel many years ago, they were able to go into the Golan Heights and look down on Lebanon), but we did see a guard at the security station.

The other part of this stop was a trip through the grottos formed by the Mediterranean Sea pounding against the land and rock outcroppings for thousands of years.

That was actually my least favorite part of the whole tour - it was hot, very humid, loud, the stones were slippery and I was afraid of falling, and there were parts where I got really claustrophobic (a phobia that seems to have developed since I moved away from the wide, open spaces of Wisconsin). It took about 45 minutes to go through the grottos - next time, I'll sit in the coffee bar and wait for the group to rejoin me!

By this time, it was after 3:00 and the heat was really getting to me. Did I mention that the bus had a great a/c system? And that it worked really, really well?

On our way back to Tel Aviv - we stopped all too briefly in Haifa. We drove to the top of Mount Carmel, got out of the bus for about 10 minutes to look down on the Baha'i Temple and the German Quarter and then were rushed back into the bus. I didn't even really have a chance to get hot!

Got back to Tel Aviv about 6:30 - hot, exhausted, thirsty (despite the water we kept guzzling all afternoon). After a quick shower and brief rest - we headed to the Port of Tel Aviv for a wonderful dinner of kabobs and a great assortment of salads.

============

So that was the "history" part of the day.

There actually was a "history in the making" piece as well.

One of the couples on the tour that we gravitated towards was Susan and Steve Grad, from LA. Steve is actually here in Israel on business and they were able to get away for the first time since around the 7th or 8th of July, I think they said, to spend a day just touring.

Steve Grad, you see, is a sports reporter, here in Israel for the 18th Maccabiah Games. The Games provide a chance for Jewish athletes from around the world to compete against each other. Like the Olympics, they're held every four years.

Steve's reporting for the Jewish Life TV . Okay, that's cool enough - but what's REALLY awesome is that this is the first time that the games have been broadcast outside of Israel.

I looked at him and said, "You mean this has never been done before?" He said it hadn't and talked about some of the logistics that went into having all the pieces come together so that it could be done this year. I looked at him, stunned, and said very slowly, "You're making history." And I thought of all the kids I've taught throughout the years who would have been absolutely thrilled to have been in my shoes today and have a chance to talk to Steve about what he's doing.

What struck me profoundly was the juxtaposition - we spent the day together, exploring antiquities - ruins and mosaics and grottos and stones - while at the same time one of the participants was a part of history being made: the land is ancient, but the state is still so relatively young.

Amazing... simply amazing.

So here's to Susan and Steve - thanks for letting us share in your special time this week. When you come to the DC area, please look us up.

Museums + Shopping + Beach = Tel Aviv!

2009-07-20T15:04:00.005-04:00

Today was the most "tourist-y" day we've had so far.

After a breakfast provided by our hotel this morning, Neal and I were off to change money (a most necessary exercise!), and wander down Dizengoff Street to look at the shops. The humidity in Tel Aviv is much higher than in Jerusalem, but the terrain is much flatter and the sidewalk (stones) are not as slippery. Consequently, I found myself bopping along at a good pace instead of picking my way gingerly up and down the hills. I'd felt old and more infirm in Jerusalem - Tel Aviv makes me feel like maybe I haven't quite lost "it" yet.

Dizengoff was shady and the sidewalks were wide, so we ambled along for a while.... And then of course, I saw a Crocs store and I was gone! (Others go for jewelry and other adornments. Me, I go for Crocs - hmm, not quite sure what that says about me.) It's actually all Barb's fault - she introduced me to them in Atlanta!

I got a great pair of one of the newer styles. Not really on sale, but probably a little cheaper than I would have been able to get them in Maryland, if I'd been able to find them.

Neal pointed us in the direction of Ben Gurion's home. No cost to get in and a chance to see the house kept as it was when he died. Neal called it "Israel's Mount Vernon" -- and although it was a fraction of the size, the significance is probably pretty similar.

What amazed me was that in the four upstairs rooms, plus one room on the first level, there were over 20,000 books - floor to ceiling in most cases. Subjects ranged from Greek and Latin classics to Jewish law to Kabbalah to American history, French history and more. Not just one or two volumes of each, but shelves and shelves and shelves. It was humbling to think about how well-read he was - even as he was busy building a county - and how narrow and liminted my own reading is in comparison.

We went back to Benedict's for lunch (shakshuka again for me; something different for Neal) and saw our "new friend," Renee - the head wait person, who we'd met last evening. Renee is an interesting person: she's just returned to Israel about a year ago after having spent 8 years in the United States - living in Pittsburg, Chicago, New York and Baltimore. It was fun to compare memories of some of the same places! Lunch time is much busier at Benedict's than early evening is, so Renee had just a few moments to talk in between seating customers, clearing tables, and helping to serve customers. When I told her that I'd blogged about Benedict's, she beamed and then said teasingly, "Make sure you tell your friends how great the service is, too!" So, here's to Renee and her co-workers - all of whom know the meaning of the phrase "service with a smile."

After a brief rest, we headed out to the Palmach Museum. When our son visited Israel two summers ago, he said that if there was no other museum we visited, we had to go to the Palmach. He couldn't quite articulate why we had to go - just that we did.

It was a very moving experience. I understand why our son found it so difficult to articulate.... I need to let things roll around for a while before they become clearer.

After a "happy hour snack" provided by our hotel, we (again) rested for a bit and then headed across the street to the Hilton beach. Although it's next to the Hilton Hotel, all beaches in Israel, our front-desk person told us proudly, are public beaches. The Hilton Beach is lovely, the sand was cool underfoot and the water was tepid. Neal snagged two chaise lounges and I plopped down (he went swimming). We'd hoped to get there in time for sunset, but it was hazy and not very picturesque.

But the breeze was pleasant. It was quiet. A wonderful opportunity to pause and reflect on a very busy day.

Although it's only 10:30 pm here, we'll be turning in soon - tomorrow morning, we're leaving at 7:15 for a day trip!

Lailah tov /good night & pleasant dreams from Tel Aviv!

NOW I Understand....

2009-07-19T11:49:00.004-04:00

...why, when my students and I were studying about Israeli diversity several years ago, Morah Val had the cooking chug make "shakshuka"... and why the Rabbi paused in his departure from the building that evening to enjoy a small taste of the leftovers....and why the dish brought back such pleasant memories of trips each had taken to Israel in the past.

Today, within two hours of arriving in Tel Aviv (after checking into our hotel, visiting the roof-top terrace for a view of the Mediterranean, and walking down to Ben Yehuda street -- this time in Tel Aviv, instead of Jerusalem), we found what I'm sure will be our favorite Tel Aviv restaurant, Benedict.

I have a new favorite food... actually two new... no! make that three new favorite foods.

To describe shakshuka as "fried vegetables and eggs in a tomato sauce" doesn't do justice to the combination of herbs used to flavor the sauce. I suspect the sauce may also have been fresh, instead of canned or from a jar - the tomato flavor was much more robust than preserved tomatoes usually are. The meal was accompanied by a huge Israeli salad, with a wonderful touch of lemon (it's all too easy to have too much lemon or not enough). The "bread basket" was a basket of six freshly made, hot-from-the-oven, rolls .... and I learned about chocolate syrup to spread on the rolls. My formerly favorite spread for rolls (apricot preserves) doesn't hold a candle to chocolate syrup. And the fruit salad - a complimentary gift as a result of showing our hotel ID - was to die for. I'm not sure exactly what fruits were in it, but they were fresh, not mushy and with a slight orange taste. My guess is orange juice to prevent the oxidation - but if so, this was orange juice like I've never had before. (That may be more than 3 foods, but at this point, I've lost count!)

::sigh:: Pure, unadulterated bliss.....

So next time (if there is one) that Morah Val teaches the kids how to make "shakshuksa," I'm gonna be right there, in the kitchen, breathing deeply!

=========

This morning, before we left Jerusalem, Neal took a walk down to the Artists' Colony near our hotel (the Eldan - they were lovely and we recommend them highly); and Steve and I met for one last time this trip to discuss the Mitzvah heroes we'd seen earlier in our visit; our individual "transformative" experiences (more about those later); and to sketch out some of the tasks ahead of us in the next couple of months. I treasure the opportunity to share these experiences this past week.

We left Jerusalem at 2:00 - our wonderful guide/driver Taki had many insights on some of the issues shared by Americans and Israelis - the inflation of real estate values; the issue of illegal immigration; education that's inadequate to prepare kids for the world ahead of them. He talked a little about his own army service, and some of his concerns for his son, who's now in the army. After the slightly more than two hours we spent with him, I think it's fair to say that we have a better idea of what some of the issues are that Israelis grapple with - at least what this individual Israeli grapples with. It's certainly a deeper understanding... and a more nuanced one than the media is able to provide.

As we drove down Rehov Hayarkon (the street that our hotel is on) in Tel Aviv, Neal and I looked at each other and grinned. After we got out of the cab, he said to me, "This reminds me of Collins Avenue in North Miami Beach, a block or so over from where Grandma Fannie lived."

Although I don't know Collins Avenue, this area does remind of me places in Florida that we've visited together - the palm trees; the beach, the humidity in the air; the sun umbrellas wherever you look - and the high rises along the beach front.

The next few days offer opportunities for different experiences than we had in Jerusalem - and all I can say is "Bring 'em on!"

Shabbat - A Time for Reflection

2009-07-18T19:00:00.000-04:00

We slept in Saturday morning (and loved every minute of it). Having decided to participate in the Reconstructionist minyan meeting at HUC (Hebrew Union College) just a block away from our hotel (the Eldan), we got up in time for a quick breakfast here at the hotel before we left.

As we entered the gate at HUC, we could hear the singing wafting out into the entrance courtyard. A gentleman noticed our hesitation as we tried to figure out where the sound was coming from and asked if we were looking for the services. We answered affirmatively and he directed us in through a door and up a flight of steps.

As we approached, the sound of voices raised in song and joy swelled. We were greeted at the door and quickly found two adjacent seats on the right in the almost-filled room. As we settled in, I looked around and discovered - much to my delight - that a rabbi I'd worked with in the Washington area was davening just a couple of rows ahead! Ever since we'd planned this trip, friends had said to us - "You'll run into people you know, even if you don't think you'll know anyone in Jerusalem." Last night, it was Mark - today it was Rabbi Steve. It is truly a small world we live in!

In short order, I realized that the service was not the Reconstructionist one we'd hoped to attend, but rather a Reform one. Although initially disappointed (we'd hoped to connect with Charlie and Marilyn and a couple of others we thought might be there), we found ourselves absolutely uplifted by the singing, the communal participation and interaction, and the drash/words of Torah.

The drash was given by someone who's name we never quite caught. Obviously knowledgeable, he also had the gift of being a magnificent speaker. In short, his message for the day was threefold: 1) Don't look for the short cuts in your journeys (metaphorical or actual); 2) Stuff happens when you don't expect it to; and 3) It's not all about me.

Woven into his talk were references to the three weeks of mourning leading up to Tisha B'Av; Israeli current events [he cited the part from the Torah portion that delinates the Israelites' 42 stops from Egypt to Canaan and referenced the "pauses" to parking lots: a hot issue among the Haredi in Jerusalem these weeks]; some discussion of repetitions of specific words and inversions - and the interpretation he took from them; and allusions to the science fiction classic "The Fantastic Voyage" (made into a movie in 1966 starring Raquel Welch) to both begin and end his remarks.

Our experience with this community was absolutely what we needed this morning - and a good example of the "stuff happens when you don't expect it to!"

We caught the tail end of our hotel's brunch for our lunch and then came up to the room. After a nap, Neal went out to explore some more - I decided to stay in (in the a/c) and process some of the thoughts rolling around in my head after our visit to the Old City yesterday.

============

It's taken me a bit of time to be able to articulate some of the thoughts and feelings rolling around in my head as we walked through parts of the Old City yesterday - especially our visit to the Kotel.

When Neal and Arnie joined me near the women's section, Arnie mentioned that he's observed over time that the impact of being in the Old City and at the Kotel doesn't always arrive instantaneously - and it's not always a religious impact. For some, he said, the impact is historical; for some it's religious; for some it's a sense of connection among people. I appreciated his comments immensely, because

[Deep breath here]

being at the Kotel left me cold.

My ability to participate fully in our people's "people-ness" is denied to me by the ultra-Orthodox who refuse to accept the signatures on my conversion papers.

Despite my attempts to undergo an "acceptable conversion," one of the rabbis who partipated in my bet din did not sign my papers before he left the mikvah that day. My papers instead include two "acceptable" signatures and the third is of my converting rabbi, Rabbi Eugene J. Lipman, z"l. I knew the instant I saw the papers, that my conversion would not be accepted. Neal and I subsequently arranged for our children to undergo a ritual immersion and conversion with acceptable signatores. I was proud that Gene's signature is on my certificate, but at the same time I didn't want to deprive my children of their Right of Return.

So here we are, 28 years later. Without boasting, I think I can honestly own that I've made signification contributions to our Jewish communal life, through my work as an educator, an administrator, a Jewish parent, a role model and a participant in the work of trying to bring repair to the world around us.

As I participated in the IEI (Israel Educators Institute) program these past 15 months, I've struggled with how I am perceived by segments of our people. It makes me angry. It makes me sad. It hurts.

But most of all, I don't understand why "the rest of us" - Conservative, Reform, Reconstructionist, Renewal - and all other Jews who don't choose to affilitate - allow a numerically small number of people to define who we are and how we are.

When did we cede the right to self-identification?

Or do we subconsciously agree that we "are not Jewish enough" -- allowing others to define the "enough?"

Prejudice and bigotry are ugly - even more so when practiced by one group of Jews against others and done in the name of the Eternal.

Oseh shalom bimromav, hu ya-aseh shalom. Aleinu v'al kol Israel. V'imru: Amen.

Our Friday Experiences

2009-07-18T15:00:00.003-04:00

Friday morning, Neal and I were fortunate to get a personal tour of the Old City by Arnie Draiman. Among other things, Arnie is the Mitzvah Heroes Fund’s Israeli agent. He identifies worthwhile recipients of tzedakah funds, does the due diligence critical to ensure that monies are spent wisely and efficiently, and – in general – helps us keep on top of things. His participation in Mitvah Heroes is critical in helping us achieve our goal of getting the funds people donate to us to beneficiaries in the most timely manner possible. Arnie’s also the guru who designed and maintains our website. So here’s a huge shout-out to Arnie: You rock!

Arnie met us at our hotel at 8:00 am and we cabbed to the Jaffa Gate. At that time, it was still fairly quiet in the Old City. Arnie pointed out some of the defensive characteristics built into the walls – the slits between the stones that enabled the watchmen to see who was approaching; the stone wall behind the wood gates, which necessitated a sharp right turn in order to enter the city – defenders could easily pick off their attackers before the latter were able to completely enter the city.

We began our tour in the Christian Quarter – the streets were narrow; the stone paths the original ones laid so many years ago. In many of the streets, the sun didn’t penetrate. While that made it dark – it also made it much cooler. Arnie took us to the Church of the Holy Sepulchre – which encompasses the last three of the twelve Stations of the Cross, the burial site of Jesus, and where the shroud of Turin was laid to prepare Jesus’ body for burial. The church is currently maintained by a number of Catholic orders (I think six, but now can’t remember exactly), each one of which has responsibility for the upkeep and care of a specific portion of the Church grounds.

We walked into one nook where a priest was reciting Mass in English – and I unexpectedly found myself mentally responding as he recited some of the call-and-response prayers. Arnie said it was unusual to hear the Mass in English – I assured him had the prayers been in Latin, I would have also been able to respond. (It’s funny what memories get burned into one’s psyche from an early age.) As we were leaving the Christian Quarter, we saw a man carrying a cross, re-enacting the last steps of Jesus. Just a few steps later, we bought our first souvenirs in the old city from a vendor who gave us a special blessing for being his first customers of the day!

We walked along the outside of the Armenian Quarter next, with Arnie explaining that since the Armenians were the first nation of people to accept Jesus, they were granted their own quarter in the Old City as a reward.

The Cardo is along the “border” between the Armenian Quarter and the Jewish Quarter. It’s an excavation site originally uncovered after a Syrian farmer discovered an ancient map in his field. The map was so detailed that the authorities were certain that under the then-current layer of the city was the Cardo, with its pillars and its original shop stalls still remaining. The Cardo was a main street, running from north to south from the Roman and Byzantine eras. Arnie explained, “In Jerusalem, people don’t own the land beneath their houses, they only own their houses.” We got to meet a wine shop owner, who Arnie knows, who has done some mitzvah work in the past.

Arnie had a mitzvah stop to make along the way – and we were glad to be able to accompany him: delivering hearing aid batteries to an elderly, blind holocaust survivor living in the Jewish Quarter.

One of the most striking differences between the Christian and Armenian Quarters and the Jewish Quarter, to me, was that the Jewish Quarter was more open, less closed in (less claustrophobic?) and consequently, brighter/sunnier than the other two. I asked Arnie why that was. He responded that when Jerusalem was reunified in 1967, the Jewish Quarter needed to be rebuilt from scratch.

Our next stop was the Kotel – the Eastern Wall. It’s the only remaining wall from the Second Temple (expanded by Herod in 20 BCE) and built on the site of the First Temple, built by King Solomon. It’s been a sacred site for Jews throughout the millennia – a place to worship, to ask for special favors from the Almighty, and the destination for Jews who promise each other at the end of the Passover Seder/meal: “Next year, in Jerusalem.”

Although we didn’t go into the Muslim Quarter, Arnie pointed out the Dome of the Rock, with its golden dome designed to protect the rock from which Muhammad left the earth. This same rock is believed to be the place where Abraham almost sacrificed his son Isaac.

Arnie also pointed out the Al-Aqsa Mosque, with its silver dome, where Anwar Sadat worshipped in his ground-breaking visit to Israel to meet with Menachem Begin in November 1977; the Mount of Olives and the cemetery there; and the Arab homes outside the Old City.

We left about 11:00, just as it was beginning to get warmer and busier and returned to our hotel.

After a short rest, and a quick lunch at the Village Green (our second visit in two days – the food is THAT good), we hiked up to Ben Yehuda street to take in the sights and buy some souvenirs (t-shirts and Ahava cream). Much to our delight, we ran into Charlie and Marilyn Bernhardt! We’d known they were going to be here at the same time we were, so it wasn’t a total surprise, but it was great fun anyway.

We ambled back to our hotel, rested some more, and then took a cab to Steve Kerbel’s for a yummy Shabbat dinner with Steve, a friend of Steve’s daughter, and Mark Novak – a talented musician, studying for the rabbinate through the Renewal movement, who happens to be in Jerusalem for several weeks. Mark and his wife Renee (who’s a storyteller extraordinaire) are old friends – they played at our children’s b’nai mitzvah celebrations over 14 and 12 years ago, respectively. An evening filled with energizing conversation, music, good friends and delicious food – a fitting beginning to our day of rest.

Needless to say, we slept well Friday night!

Thursday Afternoon

2009-07-17T10:20:00.003-04:00

Did you ever have something happen in the middle of the day (or week or whatever) where you thought, "This was so wonderful, nothing can match it or even top it?"

It often seems to me that bad/difficult/sad things come in twos or threes (or sometimes more), but good things seem to come as single events. I once asked a rabbinic colleague why that might be and he supposed that the bad things are an abberation and once they begin, we seem to be more attuned to additional ones. Haven't yet decided if I agree with him or not.....

Anyhow, I digress.

Thursday afternoon was just as rich and mind-bending as Thursday morning was.

After we left the Rabbanit, Steve, Neal and I went with a group from Congregation Olam Tikvah in Faifax, Virginia to visit Meled. Founded in 1997 by Dr. Menachem Gottesman, Meled is an Alternative Dati (Religious) High School for New Beginnings. Dr. Gottesman says, "Our students have dropped out or have been ejected from traditional educational settings due to a variety of reasons; some of our students have had difficulty in dealing with the academic rigors of high school while others have issues of substance abuse, anti-social behavior, have been abused or come from dysfunctional home settings." Meled students learn to "drop in" and, when they are ready, they learn to value learning for its own sake, not for the ability to pass the exit exams.

Menachem describes his school as a "cardiac care unit" - he and his staff teach the students that they are loved and valued and trusted. In turn, that helps the students learn to love and value and trust again. Until the hearts are mended, the kids aren't available for learning.

He talked about the difference between Meled and other high schools in Israel: at Meled, the program and curriculum are "child-centered:"

At Meled we convey acceptance, continuously, of youths who have experienced alienation at school and, possibly, at home. We provide choice: each student decides what he or she can realistically undertake to learn, under the guidance of the school's professional staff. We encourage being part without forcing the issue. We reward with love each student's showing up. We respect differences. We affirm Jewish values.

As Menachem spoke, my eyes filled with tears. As he shared his students' individual stories, I saw pictures in my mind's eye of kids I've known. From my earliest years as a social worker (where my caseload consisted of abused and neglected children), through my years as a teacher and then a director - there have been children I've worked with at each of those points, who hungered for acceptance and sometimes who had learned to push people away before they could be pushed away.

I've seen the pain in their eyes as we've tried to make these "square pegs" fit into our "round holes." In order to fit, they must "shave off" parts of who they are - and, in doing so, begin to doubt their worth. "If they really knew what I was like," the thinking goes, "they wouldn't like me."

Menachem Gottesman and his staff refuse to allow kids to be thrown away.

=======================

When Menachem heard where Steve and I were going next, he smiled. "Do you know Caryn?" one of us asked. "Do I know Caryn?" he repeated. "Of course I know Caryn - we work with some of the same kids!"

"Caryn" is Caryn Green. Eight years ago, Caryn started Crossroads. Crossroads works with English-speaking kids who are in trouble. Some are abused, some are runaways, some use drugs. Many are kids who were just not able to make the transition from the English-speaking communities they were born into and the Hebrew-speaking communities they found themselves in when their parents made aliyah. Almost all the Crossroads kids are from traditionally observant families.

Where did Caryn meet these kids? On the street, where they hang out. How does she get the to come to Crossroads? She doesn't "get them to come" - she offers help: a place to hang out, to listen to music, to eat, to talk to someone, to be. Because they've gotten to know her and trust her on the streets, they feel safe in asking for help.

Crossroads opens at 3 pm each day and stays open well into the night. Between 700 and 1000 kids pass through its doors each year. They take art classes and cooking classes-- or hip-hop, a new offering this summer. They work on resumes, and brush up their job skills. They learn how to fill out applications - for university, for the army. They hang out, in a place that feels safe to them.

With Caryn's help - and that of her staff of four and a half social workers - they learn to put the pieces of their lives back together, to find a safe place to live, to learn that while it's good to set their achievement bar high - it's even better to have options.

We had the privilege of visiting with a "graduate" of both Meled and Crossroads while we were visiting Caryn. He is a young man from a troubled family who has completed his army service and is ready to go to University. He's not quite sure where - but he has goals, skills he's learned along the way, and a keen sense of self-awareness. His biggest concern now? His younger brother, who's struggling with some of the same issues he struggled with. "I keep telling him I believe in him," my new friend said. We talked at length and I could assure him that the belief of an older sibling could be pivotal in helping a younger sib find his/her way.

Going through my mind, as I listened to Menachem and Caryn and my new friend was something that was written in my 9th grade yearbook (1968, Edgewood High School, Madison WI) by Molly McGuire - one of those very popular but incredibly nice people that you're sometimes lucky enough to meet.

Molly wrote: Our lives are shaped by those who love us and by those who refuse to love us. Molly - if you're out there - your thought has echoed in my mind many times in the last 41 years.

Caryn and Menachem exemplify "those who love" who "shape our lives."

A full day indeed.

Meled and Crossroads are two projects supported by the Mitzvah Heroes Fund.

Thursday Morning

2009-07-17T09:15:00.003-04:00

Our first meeting on Thursday morning (Neal, Steve Kerbel and I) was with Karyn London of Atzum. Karyn is a social worker and the coordinator of the Survivors of Terror Project. This Project, which is one of three that Atzum gives its attention to, focuses on those individuals and families whose lives have been irreparably shattered by terrorist actions – especially when the individual is the main provider for the family.

Karyn spoke knowledgeably and compassionately about the difficulties facing many of these families. Physical injuries are only part of the damage done: PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder) is often a by-product as well. What makes PTSD particularly difficult (for those who’ve never seen a loved one experience it) is that the flashbacks can be caused by any one of a number of triggers: sights, sounds, smells, touches, tastes. Triggers are not only difficult to identify, but they may affect an individual at random and unexpected times. Just telling people “it’s done, put it behind you and move on with your life” doesn’t work (would that it could).

So Karyn and her team of people provide assistance to survivors of terrorism and their families through such supports as tuition assistance for retraining; taxi rides to and from schools for children who were injured in a bus bombing between their home and school; and orthopedic household equipment for those suffering from chronic pain as a result of their injuries. This support allows the survivors to regain the sense of dignity necessary to each individual and (in my opinion) changes people from "victims" to "survivors."

[Note: Atzum also works with the Righteous Among Nations and has a Task Force on Human Trafficking.]

========================

Our second meeting of the morning was with the Rabbanit Bracha Kappach.

The Rabbanit has been doing tzedakah work for over 45 years. She got her start by helping a sick neighbor – cleaning for her, caring for her, and cooking for her. She hasn’t stopped caring for people since then! In 1964, she began distributing packages of food for Pesach/Passover. In the intervening years, she has distributed packages to over thousands and thousands of people.

During the hour and a half we were there, her phone never stopped ringing – people calling for help; people offering to help. We peeked into her “warehouse” area – a partially closed-in balcony where there were stacks of flour, sugar, oil, and other staples. It looked like a lot of food to me, but Steve whispered that her stores were more depleted than he’d seen before.

In addition to her annual Pesach food distribution, the Rabbanit also provides food for many people each week for Shabbat. Early on Friday morning, people who have no other resources show up at her door for staples, a chicken, some challah and perhaps some juice. She gets prepared foods from Moshe Kot of the Lev Ramot Organization. Lev Ramot picks up uneaten food from catered affairs and delivers it anonymously to people who are hungry. He calls the Rabbanit when he has food he knows she can use.

So often we think that there’s little that one individual can do to “make a difference.”

I once had the privilege of being in the first row when Margaret Mead was speaking at my college, a few short years before her death in 1978. I remember clearly her message to us that day: Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.

As I was with the Rabbanit yesterday, I kept remembering Margaret Mead, and realizing that I was in the presence of someone who has, indeed, changed the world.

[One of the things that brought joy to the Rabbanit’s face was when she told us that she and her husband, Rav Kappach, were the only husband and wife to have both won the Israel Prize: he for his scholarship work; and she for tzedakah work. Tzedakah, she told us, is not a choice; it’s an obligation/a mitvah/something we are commanded to do.]

A morning spent with people intent on repairing the world is a morning rich with experiences and memories.

These are two of the many tzedakah opportunities the Mitzvah Heroes Fund supports.

We're Here!

2009-07-16T11:35:00.003-04:00

We’re in Israel. We arrived last evening at about 7:00 pm Israel time (12 noon EDT), to be greeted at our hotel by Steve Kerbel and Danny Siegel. Steve had a “welcome basket” for us – almonds, chocolates, and plums. It was nice to see a familiar face so soon!

The trip over was, well, a “trip.” Suffice it to say I broke my previous record by logging 32 hours of wakefulness. When I was young – and foolish??? – all-nighters were a part of the routine periodically. That was a LONG time ago.

First impressions of Israel?

The airport was big (so was Madrid’s, for that matter). Security lines moved quickly; everything was clearly marked, even for a non-Hebrew speaker. We were actually in and out of the airport in less than an hour. We were met by our pre-arranged taxi driver right on the other side of the gate, who reached for our luggage and got us on our way to Jerusalem in short order.

The drive from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem was interesting. Taki pointed things out and gave us a mini-tour as we drove. We were both delighted to see directional signs to places we’d only read about – Petah Tikva, and Mod’in, to name just a couple.

We saw fences around Arab settlements, a prison holding Palestinians, and a demonstration in a Haredi neighborhood with a huge police presence. The reason for the demonstration? A woman who is a member of that community was arrested for child abuse. The community maintains that they have the right to discipline their own members – it’s not the police’s job to do that. From what Taki told us, however, the abuse had been sustained over a number of years, with hospitalizations along the way.

The situation was evidently well-known within the community. The resentment (and subsequent protests) resulted from the perceived interference of the “outsiders” (the State).

I wonder: who speaks for the children, who cannot speak for themselves? Isn’t it the obligation of the community to protect those who are defenseless?

Sometimes I wonder which is the group that presents the greatest danger to Israeli society: the Palestinians (who are a threat from without) or those Haredim (who are a threat from within)? Both are situations that are much more nuanced than I’ve presented here, I know, and yet…..

I also was curious about how I’d respond to the actual “land” of Israel. Full disclosure: I grew up in the lush farmlands of the State of Wisconsin, where the green is a treat for the eyes three-fourths of the year. The sky is “big” there, too – not as big as the Dakotas, but far bigger than Maryland. Heat makes me itch – brown, I interpret as “barren” and depressing. I’d read Walking the Bible, and seen lots of videos, movies and pictures of the land. With the exception of Ein Gedi and the Galilee, there didn’t appear to be a lot of what my psyche has had imprinted on it as “beautiful.” How would I respond to the “real thing?”

It is brown. Some parts are very barren. In some areas, there’s been reforestation – with trees I don’t recognize, but nonetheless, green spaces to gaze upon. In some areas (outside a couple of the Arab settlements) the hills leading up to the settlements were covered by olive trees. Not big – more what I would call “shrubs” in size instead of trees. Taki explained that olives are a vital crop in the Arab economy in those areas.

The land has a kind of grandeur to it. It’s hard and dry-looking with what appear to be terraced areas carved into many of the hills outside Jerusalem. It almost looks tired, if land can be described in human characteristics. Tired, but undefeated – it has seen much in the millennia – and has survived.

Jerusalem is busy – crazy traffic (people park on the sidewalks in some places), horns blaring, much construction. Our hotel is on King David Street, at the top of a hill. Walking downhill is a joy (winding around the construction and the sidewalk parking). Returning uphill is an experience best taken slowly – at least by this out-of-shape fifty-six year old.

But the breeze is a delight! And the evening cooled off nicely.

Today’s been a busy one – many impressions rolling through my mind. I’ll try to process them today and post them either later today or tomorrow.

It WAS a Busy Week

2009-07-11T21:08:00.006-04:00

Wow!

What a week...

I finished and submitted an article for publication....

My colleague and I finished over-arching school goals, individual grade goals (accompanied by some strategies for implementation), and a Scope and Sequence for the coming year. Still many pieces to pull together, but the framework appears to be solid. I'll put it aside for a couple of days and then look at it with fresh eyes.

Our kitchen, dining area and adjacent hallway were painted this past week. Alison of Alacrity Consulting and Design did a superb job. Here's her description of what the job entailed. I'm still trying to find new "stashing" places for the stuff we need (which is actually a lot less than the stuff we had). And as you'll see from her to do list at the bottom of her posting, we've still got some finishing touches to add. But it's a clean, warm look and the space has become much more restful than it was previously.

And did I mention that we're leaving for Israel in less than 3 days? I haven't really begun to pack yet (although I've given it lots and lots of thought!)...

It's the first trip for both my husband and me - both of our adult kids also took their first trips (individually) within the last two years.

We decided not to do a tour - neither of us likes to be told to "hurry up and let's go." Since it's a short trip, we decided to spend four days in Jerusalem and four in Tel Aviv. We've had a lot of fun planning our trip - my husband does a superb job of tracking details and researching options.

Here are some of the highlights:

Arrive Wednesday evening
Mitzvah Heroes work Thursday
Ben Yehuda market and shops on Friday
Shabbat dinner with a friend
Shabbat morning with other friends - maybe services with the Reconstructionist minyan
A walking tour of the Old City
Tel Aviv on Sunday
Some museums - Independence Hall, the Palmach
Maybe a day trip
Some beach time
Some shopping and wandering

Sounds like fun, doesn't it? I purchased a new netbook and plan to take it along with us to blog, email, and perhaps watch a movie on the flight over or back. With my knitting needles and some yarn, I'll be ready to go!

Stay tuned!

Usually the Summer is Quiet....

2009-07-03T07:38:00.002-04:00

...but all of a sudden things have gotten "crazy-busy" here!

I'm doing a lot of writing (other than on this blog, obviously):

lesson plans for a regional Madrichim/Teacher Aide program to be held August 30th
some material I hope will be published on Madrichim training
thank you notes for donations and kindnesses received after my mother died

I've got the pleasure of working with a colleague on a major curriculum review. She's doing it right, in my opinion, by starting with the goals for each grade and then trying to figure out how to teach them and what materials to use. We're also trying to build in some assessment pieces as we go along, so she'll be able to determine at the end of the year where the strengths and weaknesses are in her new curriculum.

I'm working with another colleague on modifying her family education program.

We're having our kitchen, dining area, and adjacent hallway painted this coming week.... which means the decluttering needs to happen NOW.

We're getting ready to leave on our first-ever trip to Israel in 11 days. I'll definitely be blogging from Israel!

And then there's just the odds and ends of summer - doctors' appointments that are difficult to schedule in the winter; office files and materials that need to be reorganized and culled; new books and other materials that need to be reviewed in order to prepare for the coming year; and my website to review and update.

On the back burner: my year-end review and the year-long madrichim course I'll be teaching in the fall (I've got a syllabus done, but need to prepare lessons and activities).

Whatever happened to "those lazy, hazy days of summer????" NOTE: I'm NOT complaining - I like being busy - am just surprised at the sudden influx of things on my "to-do" list!

STW: Professional Implications

2009-06-25T08:00:00.003-04:00

So, aside from the personal vindication I’ve felt since reading Supplementary Schools That Work, does this study have any relevance for us professionally?

I believe it does.

But not necessarily in the way that most of us seem to be connecting with initially.

It is absolutely a delight to see that A) there are schools that are successful; B) there are specific characteristics that can be attributed to successful schools; C) that those characteristics are not automatically outside our grasp; and D) that *all* schools, including successful ones, struggle to overcome the same barriers to success.

Those are important factors to consider as we look to objectively assess our programs, to build on the successes we’ve had, and to continually strive to improve.

But they’re not enough to ensure success…. Unless the foundational pieces are in place. Wertheimer calls these the “enabling factors.”

The report cites four conditions that need to exist if a school is to move into the “successful” category. In brief, they are as follows:

Vision
Collaborative Culture
Communal support
Lay involvement

As I’ve turned this report over and over during the past month, and examined it from multiple angles, it occurs to me that there are at least two levels on which these enabling factors can be examined: on the congregational level and on the school level. Ideally, the school is a subset of the congregation, so we visualize them as concentric circles, as below:

Let’s start with the outside circle and work our way to inner circle.

Congregational building pieces: Questions to answer
Does the congregation have a vision or mission statement? Does it include a description of the type of culture the organization hopes to create? What types of diversity are included in this description? What work will the community become involved with? Is the word “community” even used? How frequently are the vision statement and the goals of the congregation re-examined?

What evidence can one see to support the cultural goal of collaboration within the congregational community? [NOTE: to me, the word “collaboration” connotes a respectful exchange of ideas, mutual support for the tasks of individuals, and a willingness to establish a safe environment in which disagreement about ideas/practices/etc doesn’t become “disagreeable.”] Does that collaboration cross the lay-professional line? Does it occur within each constituency: lay leaders, professional staff, parents, etc? Is there evidence of reflective practice – individually and collectively – without blaming or finger pointing?

Is there a sense of being part of a “larger whole?” Does the congregation connect with others outside its walls? Is it affiliated with a movement? Does it engage in local and national Jewish communal work (ie, of the Federation, Jewish agencies, educational programs, youth groups)? How is it involved with Israel? Is it part of the local scene on both a Jewish and a secular level? Do the individual committees and affiliates act as if they understand how their involvement intermeshes with the goals and activities of the entire congregation? How are potential resources (internal and external) identified? Is this an ongoing endeavor process?

How are lay leaders groomed? Is there a “leadership track?” Is leadership training available? Are new members actively encouraged to become involve in leadership positions? Are their comments, observations, questions solicited and addressed respectfully? Do they understand the scope of the “job” they are being encouraged to undertake? Are they provided with the necessary supports as they begin to assume their responsibilities? Are lay leaders empowered to take ownership of the challenges involved in running a nonprofit organization? Are they empowered to actively search for solutions along with professional staff? Are there accountability measures in place?

School building pieces: Questions to answer

(many of the questions cited above also apply to schools within the congregational framework. Here are some additional ones to consider.)

Does the school have a vision or mission statement of its own? Does it refer back to the congregational statement? Are they aligned? Does it include desired outcomes? Methodology?

Is there a culture of collaboration among teaching staff? Professional staff and the education committee? Among professional staff and parents? Among classes? Among students within individual grades or rooms? Are individuals vested in the success of the entire school, and not just their particular students, grades, courses, etc? Is there opportunity for regular reflective practice by administrators, teachers, students, committee members, parents? Is the environment a “safe” one in which to ask questions or express a difference of opinion?

Is the school connected to congregational life? In ways that go beyond participation in services or consecration and b’nei mitzvah? Is there a congregational board liaison? Does that liaison have credibility with the larger board or is he/she seen primarily or exclusively as someone whose focus is limited to the school only, without being able to see the bigger, congregational, picture? Is the school connected to other religious schools – locally, nationally, within the movement or outside? Is it connected to other youth activity endeavors (youth group, etc)? Do teachers and administrators engage in regular professional development, both on-site and off? Are resources – specifically time and money – allocated to professional development?

Most lay leaders (although not all) initially get involved with the school because of a specific issue related to their child. However, are they eventually able to widen their focus on what’s beneficial for the entire community? Are they willing to offer specific talents and skills to support the educational program? Are they able to comment on the positives they/their children see or experience as well as address issues that need improvement? Are they in tune with the mission goals and objectives of the school? When a problem arises, are they willing to help search for solutions?

What happens if the congregation and school are not in harmony?

Then, I would suggest, there’s a mismatch.

Not every educator will work well in every congregational setting.

Not every congregation will remain consistent in its answers to these questions.

The guiding principle, I believe, must be a shared vision about what’s best for the kids: What kind of Jewish adults do we want them to grow into – and what do we believe is the best way to get there, given the constraints of time, energy, money, personnel?

STW: Personal Reaction - Part 2

2009-06-23T08:00:00.003-04:00

As I shared last time, my adamant negation of the belief that “all-kids-hate-religious-school” was my introduction to formal Jewish education. In the period between the time we removed our kids from one religious school and enrolled them the following year in a different school, we made the decision that I would homeschool them. My purpose was to ensure that they understood that our dissention was with the individual institution, not with Jewish education or supplemental schools. Learning would take place regardless of the venue.

As I’d prepare each week for the next week’s lessons, I met a wonderfully helpful person at the local Board of Jewish Ed, who pointed me in the right direction for resources, answered questions I had, and was extremely supportive. As time went on, we got to know each other. In addition to her job at the BJE, she was also the part-time director of a religious school. After some time passed, she asked if I’d be interested in teaching in her school, explaining that she thought I’d be a good teacher because I was willing to ask questions, search for information and try to pull things together in an age-appropriate manner. After several conversations, much thought, and a visit to her school, I decided to accept her offer.

That was the beginning of my involvement as a Jewish communal worker.

Over the course of time, I became an even better teacher. It was Elissa who taught me about educational objectives and how to measure them; about reflective practice; and – most importantly – that it’s our work that should be taken seriously, not ourselves.

I tried to integrate the lessons I’d learned from my own children:

that kids learn best by doing instead of sitting;
that variety spices things up again;
that transitions are difficult;
that a classroom should be a safe place;
that for most of us, hearing alone isn’t enough – we need to see, smell, touch, and taste, too!

Along the way, I continued to learn as much from my students (probably more) than they learned from me. There were transitional issues, to be sure (the “I don’t want to GO to religious school…”). However, once they crossed our threshold, for the most part, they were active and engaged (“but I don’t mind BEING there.”) In reviewing the list of characteristics that Wertheimer cites as indicative of successful schools, I see that all six of them were present in our classroom over the years: Together, my students and I

developed a community
took Jewish learning seriously
engaged in experiential Jewish education
aligned all of our efforts with our goals for the year
valued ourselves
regarded our families as allies (and, on my part, as clients – I was always conscious that their parents could have taken them to another school, but chose to enroll them in ours)

How do I know we were those things? Because each year, it was our practice at the end of the year to dissect what we had done, piece by piece. Because our classroom was a safe place, my students felt secure in offering honest feedback that, in turn, helped form my plans for the class following them. I still have the notes from those evaluation sessions. In reviewing them recently, I was struck anew by how many of them helped address the areas listed above.

I subsequently became a director of two different schools. At each school, we had a strong level of lay involvement and input. One program evolved into a successful one, by Wertheimer’s definition, while I was there; the other did not. What made the difference?

In one environment, the “enabling factors” – those foundation pieces that need to be in place in order for a school to be successful -- were firmed embedded in the practices of the organization. Those factors, again, are as follows:

a clear vision and a path on how to achieve that vision
a culture of collaboration and self-reflection
the school and the synagogue worked together – neither was isolated or detached from the other
lay leaders were involved cooperatively with the school and worked collaboratively with their professional staff to refine the objectives of the school.

Defining the characteristics of a successful school is important in being able to articulate why an institution is successful.

However, in my mind, the most critical part of Schools That Work is the identification of the foundation necessary in order for a program to be successful.

It answers some very basic questions about why a once-successful program sometimes becomes less successful over time or when there’s a change in leadership. It points out the difficulty of systemic change when two groups of key players (the lay leaders, and the parents) are frequently in flux. I believe that when these enabling factors are weakened or disappear, the likelihood of a school being able to maintain its innovative zest for learning becomes compromised. The school tends to slip back towards the more familiar middle-of-the-road because that’s a more comfortable place to be – for the administrators, teachers, lay leaders, and parents. I doubt that it’s more comfortable for the kids.

Next: professional implications for our schools/communities.

Schools That Work: Personal Reaction

2009-06-21T08:00:00.000-04:00

My first reaction to Wertheimer’s Schools That Work was a delighted “YES” (accompanied by a pumped fist). “Finally,” I told a colleague, “SOMEone thinks that we’re not all failing.”

I had become thoroughly sick and tired of articles about supplemental schools being awful and behind the times; of discussions in which the main theme was “Everyone knows that religious schools are a dismal failure;” and of matter-of-fact statements to the tune of, “Well of course my kid hates religious school: all kids do.”

I first discovered this “of-course-all-kids-hate-religious-school” when our now-27 year old son entered fourth grade at our local synagogue school. He had been an eager participant until that time. He'd get into the car eagerly and come home to enthusiastically share stories about what they had learned and classroom antics. He liked playing soccer and climbing on the geodesic dome in the back yard better, but then recess was his favorite part of his secular school day, too.

In fourth grade, things began to change: classroom demographics changed; his teacher had difficulty with classroom management issues (kids were allowed to tease each other, because “that’s how kids are”); and he was beginning to struggle with some significant but-as-yet unidentified learning disabilities. In less than a year, he went from an eager Judaics and Hebrew student to one who tried to run away when it was time for religious school. He’d scream, “You can’t make me go.” I could and I did – but it was a painful experience.

I spoke to relatives, friends, other parents, the principal. All of them assured me that “Of course, he hates religious school – all kids do.” Other parents said, “I suffered through it and was miserable. Now it’s my kid’s turn to be miserable.”

As a convert to Judaism, I was appalled. The more answers I tried to find, the more frustrated I became. The situation, which was already intolerable for my son, rapidly became unacceptable for me. And so we began to look for alternatives.

We tried first to work with the school…. And were met with a shrug of the shoulders and the implication that perhaps I was ambivalent about or deficient in my attitude towards Jewish education. If I “got with the program,” my son’s problems would probably go away.

Things were complicated by the fact that my husband had found a community in which he was comfortable and we decided that we were unwilling to leave the congregation. I ultimately met with our rabbi and asked him what alternatives were available. By that time, we had pulled both of our children out of the religious school and I was homeschooling them in Hebrew and Judaics while we searched for viable options. My request was simple: I wanted a solution that would be a better match for my kids and fulfill our synagogue’s requirements for bar and bat mitzvah.

There was a community school nearby that fit the bill. I met with the Education Director, and shared our experiences, concerns, and hopes. We made a plan to integrate both children into their program the following year. I continued to homeschool our kids for the remainder of that academic year as we planned for that transition.

It was a much better fit for our son – and not a bad fit for our daughter.

End of the story? Not quite.

A year or so later, the kids began to complain vociferously about the commute to religious school. I’d drive them to school three times a week, listening to moaning and complaining the whole trip (30 minutes, now, instead of 10 minutes the year before). My stomach would be in knots the entire time they were in school, and I’d dread their return home. Finally, they’d walk in with their dad – laughing and giggling and practically bouncing in excitement. “What’s for dinner, Mom?” they’d shout.

One day, I couldn’t stand it any longer. “What gives?” I demanded. “I get the tsoris/grief and Dad gets the nachas/joy. Not fair.”

My kids grinned at me. “Oh,” they admitted, “We don’t like GOING to religious school, but once we’re there, we don’t mind BEING there.” An important distinction – and one that I later used when I began to teach OPK – Other People’s Kids.

Next up - more personal reflections about my teaching and directing experiences.

Ahavat Olam

2009-06-19T08:00:00.000-04:00

The following is an interpretative version of the ahavat olam prayer, found in the Kol Haneshamah siddur (published by the Jewish Reconstructionist Federation). It’s been echoing in my mind since my mother died earlier this month:

We are loved by an unending love.
We are embraced by arms that fund us
even when we are hidden from ourselves.

We are touched by fingers that soothe us
even when we are too proud for soothing.
We are counseled by voices that guide us
even when we are too embittered to hear.
We are loved by an unending love.

We are supported by hands that uplift us
even in the midst of a fall.
We are urged on by eyes that meet us
even when we are too weak for meeting.
We are loved by an unending love.

Embraced, touched, soothed, and counseled…
ours are the arms, the fingers, the voices;
ours are the hands, the eyes, the smiles;
We are loved by an unending love.

Blessed are you, BELOVED ONE, who loves your people Israel
(Rami M. Shapiro, adapted)

It has been your arms, hands, voices, eyes and smiles that have comforted and sustained us during this period.

We are deeply grateful to be part of our communities.

Shabbat Shalom.

Baruch Dayan HaEmet

2009-06-11T08:00:00.001-04:00

I had planned to spend the next couple of postings reacting to and reflecting upon the information in Schools That Work (Wertheimer). However, my mother has died: after a long illness, her death has been a release we are grateful for.

Funeral tomorrow - shiva through Tuesday evening.

Postings will resume the week of June 22nd.

Schools That Work: Enabling Factors Graphic

2009-06-09T08:00:00.001-04:00

We began this series with a discussion of the factors that need to be in place in order for a school to be successful.

Here's the graphic that illustrates that discussion:

Reactions/reflections next time!

Challenges Faced By STW: The Graphic

2009-06-07T08:00:00.001-04:00

And here's a picture of the challenges facing all supplementary schools, including Schools That Work:

Given all these stresses, it's a wonder that even the mediocre schools manage to do as well as they do.

Challenges Faced by Schools That Work

2009-06-05T08:00:00.001-04:00

The following excerpts are taken verbatim from pages 5 and 6 of Schools That Work: What We Can Learn from Good Jewish Supplementary Schools, written by Jack Wertheimer and published in March 2009 by The Avi Chai Foundation. See earlier postings on 5/31/09, 6/2/09 and 6/3/09 for discussions of "enabling factors" and characteristics of successful schools, as described by Wertheimer and his team of researchers.

A number of intractable challenges are endemic to the field [of supplementary Jewish education], and even better schools are not immune to their impact.

There is a scarcity of teachers well-versed in Hebrew and Judaica who have the skill to transmit their knowledge to students.

[T]he real challenge lies in implementing them [curricular materials] properly in the classroom. Some schools are forced to rely upon teachers who lack content knowledge and/or pedagogical skills.

Directing a school is a demanding job, which can lead to burn-out....Most schools have a shallow bench so that pinch hitters do not come to the aid of directors.

With the large majority of students attending school for a handful of hours each week, whether once or twice a week, schools are severly constrained. Remaining mindful of the time constraints under which they operate, they do not promise more than they can deliver. The question is whether this hard-headed approach to time, results in too low a set of expectations.

[S]upplementary programs find themselves in a heightened time-bind, creating a dilemma about what to emphasize and what to omit. Schools must make trade-offs between subject matter...and also between content knowledge and community building or other affective activities.

A particularly difficult curricular choice relates to Hebrew language instruction. Many schools are unclear about what to teach and toward what end...

There is little doubt that many parents and chuldren regard the end goal of supplementary school to be the bar/bat mitzvah....Effective schools...explicitly downplay their role in preparing children, and most try to retain students well beyond 7th grade.

With a range of other activities beckoning to children, supplementary schools must compete for the attention of families. Jewish education, then, is merely one of many supplementary programs. Compared to the recent past, Jewish education now must compete with far more options -- and often loses out.

These circumstances encumber all supplementary schools. They are built into the current structure.

=====

Depressing to think about, isn't it? But it's a fairly realistic picture of the challenges facing supplementary schools -- the good schools as well as the mediocre ones and the poor ones. Oftentimes, we spend so much time focusing on the challenges facing us that it's easy to get lost along the way.

When I was growing up, my father kept a reminder on the wall in his office, which he could see when he sat at his desk. It read: "When you're up to your @*# in alligators, it's hard to remember that your objective was to drain the swamp." It was significant for two reasons: 1) We simply didn't use language like that in polite company when I was growing up; and 2) My Dad explained how difficult it was to avoid getting caught in a reactive mode, in which all one did was respond to the crisis du jour.

More reactions/reflections when this series is done.

Characteristics of STW: The Graphic

2009-06-04T08:00:00.002-04:00

So, here's the graphic that shows what the words said in the last blog.

As a visual learner, this helped me see the whole picture at one time. Remember, Wertheimer says no one characteristic is more important that the other - all are necessary in a balanced way.

Next up? Challenges facing supplementary schools

Characteristics of Schools That Work

2009-06-02T08:00:00.002-04:00

The following comments are taken verbatim from pages 4 and 5 of Schools That Work: What We Can Learn From Good Jewish Supplementary Schools, written by Jack Wertheimer and published in March 2009 by The Avi Chai Foundation. See the posting on 5/31/09 for a discussion of the "enabling factors" that Wertheimer and his team of researchers define as being necessary for Schools That Work.

Jack Wertheimer, with his team of 9 other researchers, has discovered that there are six Noteworthy Characteristics of the Schools:

Good schools intentionally work to develop a community among their students, staff and parents.... [T]he community fostered by the school not only is warm and hospitable, but also establishes norms explicitly identified as distinctly Jewish.
Good schools place an emphasis on taking Jewish study seriously....[R]egardless of the emphasis, good schools have developed a sophisticated curriculum that goes beyond rote learning, examining Jewish content so that it "sticks."
Moreover, good schools create opportunities for students to engage in experiential Jewish education....This experiential component, in tandem with formal learning, is vital, as it provides students with the opportunity to live their Judaism and not only to learn about it.
Good schools understand the need to align all their efforts with school goals. School directors, clergy and lay leaders often play a critical role in clarifying the school's goals and working with teaching staff to align what goes on in the classroom with the broader objectives of the school.
Good schools value themselves and their students. In most of the schools under study, discipline was achieved primarily by attending closely to the needs of individual children and engaging them with compelling materials.
Good schools regard families as allies and also clients. Involved parents can become important models for their children and will encourage children to take maximal advantage of their Jewish educational experiences.

The work of building an effective supplementary school is not only to actualize each of these aspirations so that they become real, but also to hold them in balance. No single one alone will insure a strong program. It is the combination of traits that forges a strong school.

======

Plenty of food for thought. Reflections/reactions at the end of this series.

Schools That Work

2009-05-31T16:00:00.007-04:00

“Schools That Work: What We Can Learn from Good Jewish Supplementary Schools” was written by Jack Wertheimer, and published by The Avi Chai Foundation just this past March. Wertheimer is a professor of American Jewish History at the Jewish Theological Seminary. The team of ten researchers (Isa Aron, Marion Gribetz, Billy Mencow, Nachama Skolnik Moskowitz, Randal F. Schnoor, Susan L. Shevitz, Serene Victor, Harold Wechsler, Cyd Beth Weisman, and Jack Wertheimer) set out to identify what characteristics could be found in successful Jewish supplemental schools.

From the Executive Summary:

In an effort to learn about the range and quality of programs, a team of ten researchers—five academics and five experienced educators with backgrounds in school administration—observed ten Jewish supplementary schools reputed to be effective, as defined by the quality of formal study and positive Jewish experiences they provide, the clarity and thoughtfulness of school objectives, the development of a community of practice to translate learning into Jewish living, and the coordination of key personnel in the pursuit of those goals.

Wertheimer goes on to articulate four “enabling factors” which must be present in order to have “Schools That Work.” Here's my summary of what he wrote:

School communities must define a vision and articulate how they plan to accomplish their vision. These visions need to include learning goals, which most school vision statements do. But they also need to go beyond that: Schools need to provide students with opportunities to enact Jewish commitments and to engage in Jewish activities.
School communities need to create a culture of collaboration among lay leaders, among professional staff, and among both groups. They also need to establish a culture of self-reflection.
A congregational or communal base of support is necessary. School communities need to identify potential resources, both internally and externally. After they’ve done that, they need to plan to make maximal use of these resources; ie, it’s not sufficient just to identify the resources – they need to be implemented.
Schools That Work involve lay leaders in both the life of the school and by cooperating with them to refine the objectives of the school.

Wow.

So simple…. and yet not.

Vision/Mission Statements: Generally speaking, when I begin working with schools as a consultant, one of the first things I ask for is a school mission statement.

I’m often surprised by the number of schools that don’t have one – or cases in which there’s one for the synagogue, but not a separate one for the school. Without a mission statement, I wonder how communities know whether they’re doing what they want to do – or how they can ascertain whether their efforts are successful.

Many mission statements focus on the skills that they hope the students will learn with the goal being to function effectively as a Jewish adult. Hicks, Glasgow and McNary report that [new] “teachers often see teaching as telling and learning as memorization.” (What Successful Mentors Do; Corwin Press, 2005, p. 39). “Learning” is considered separate from “doing.” Do our mission statements include “doing” that goes beyond the one-time performance of bar or bat mitzvah? What opportunities are there for students to engage in Jewish cultural activities? Deeds of g’milut hasadim /lovingkindness? Teaching others? Social justice activities?

I’m not surprised that this was first on Wertheimer’s list of “enabling factors” for Schools That Work.

Community Culture: Collaboration and self-reflection: they exist hand-in-hand.

Far too often, I’ve noticed that either schools are separate from the life of the congregation or there’s a territoriality that exists among the professional staff. In the former case, the school exists in isolation. There’s little or no cross-fertilization of ideas or practices. When communities collaborate, each segment of the community validates the work of the other. In the latter case, either there’s a competition among staff (who is better/more powerful/etc) or an inability to recognize that frequently staff functions overlap. “That’s *NOT* my job” can be as detrimental as “That’s *MY* job – keep your nose out.”

Teamwork – collaboration – recognizes the ebb and flow of work responsibilities and crunch times: people are able to pull together to benefit the whole.

If there’s no collaboration, it’s also difficult to engage in self-reflective practice. There’s little opportunity to get honest, caring feedback from colleagues. If the environment is competitive or segmented, self-reflection can be perceived of as a weakness.

Base of Support/Involvement of Lay Leaders: when a school is an involved, active, engaged part of congregational life – and the congregation is actively involved and engaged in all facets of the school – the base of support is more solid and lay leaders are involved in substantive and meaningful ways. Without that base of support (and the willingness to tap into it) and the involvement of all lay leaders, I don’t believe that schools can be successful at integrating students into the Jewish life of their community.

Next time: Characteristics of Schools that Work

How Important is a Sense of Belonging?

2009-05-29T08:00:00.002-04:00

On Friday, May 8th, Michael Gerson, a columnist for the Washington Post, wrote an interesting op-ed piece quoting the findings of Robert Putnam. Putnam (with David Campbell) has written a book entitled "American Grace: How Religion Is Reshaping Our Civic and Political Lives,” which will be released next year. According to Gerson, the book is already making a splash. “…the book they haven't yet finished will make just about everyone constructively uncomfortable,” Gerson writes.

He goes on to describe Putnam and Campbell’s recent appearance at a conference.

At a recent conference of journalists organized by the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life, Putnam outlined the conclusions of "American Grace," based on research still being sifted and refined. Against the expectations of hard-core secularists, Putnam asserts, "religious Americans are nicer, happier and better citizens." They are more generous with their time and money, not only in giving to religious causes but to secular ones. They join more voluntary associations, attend more public meetings, even let people cut in line in front of them more readily. Religious Americans are three to four times more socially engaged than the unaffiliated. Ned Flanders is a better neighbor.

I’ll take a break here, so we can all give ourselves a pat on the back.

And, then (are you ready) comes the part that I suspect will make many of us uncomfortable:

Against the expectations of many religious believers, this dynamic has little to do with the content of belief. Theology is not the predictor of civic behavior; being part of a community is. People become social joiners and contributors when they have friends who pierce their isolation and invite their participation. And religious friends, says Putnam, are "more powerful, supercharged friends."

Let’s look at that second sentence again: Theology is not the predictor of civic behavior, being part of a community is.

Hmm....

If it's not theology that makes the difference (and I'm including values and commandments - middot v'mitzvot - in the broad topic of "theology).....

And if "being part of the community" IS what makes a difference.....

Maybe as Jewish educators we should spend more time building connections among our community members rather than worrying about skills acquisition, how much content we can cram in during the (hopefully) seven years we have students enrolled prior to their bar/bat mitzvah, and how well the kids will perform on that day.

Maybe we should deliberately, intentionally, mindfully use some of the scarce hours that we have students with us to spend time fostering that sense of community -

helping kids get to know each other;
helping students to be involved with the adults in the congregation's business of bringing repair to the world
becoming a place where they can feel safe and secure as they explore what it means to them to BE Jewish and DO Jewish.

Maybe? Ya think?

One of my colleagues shared a document - and a philosophy - with a group of us gathered at the first RENA (Reconstructionist Educators of North America) Conference in Naperville, Illinois in 2005.

Deborah's belief was that Parent-teachers need to pro-actively design Shabbat School experiences that will help students build relationships and a sense of community. A sense of community, group cohesiveness, friendships do not necessarily “happen” naturally, especially given the paucity of time we are spending together each year.

At her school, Havurah Shalom of Portland, Oregon, they decided that One way to do this is to be sure that there are activities that build community in every session.

Build. Community. In. Every. Session

Not once a year - at the beginning of the year; or once a semester; or whenever there was a new teacher.... but ... In. Every. Session

I can hear it already - There's not enough time as it is.... now you want us to "waste" time playing games?!?

And - if I'm being honest - there's a time when my voice would have been protesting louder than anyone else's.

But.... if I've learned anything these last six years, it's that if we don't focus on building a sense of community within our classes and our schools - the learners* aren't connected. If they're not connected, the learning is irrelevant. If the learning is irrelevant.... that's when time is actually wasted!

Hmmmm.....

*applies to adult learners as well as kid-learners, I've found.

Update - Take 2

2009-05-27T08:00:00.005-04:00

Okay, so the last post focused on what did work. Time to be honest: what didn’t work?

::sigh::

::Deep sigh::

Ok, so I should have *KNOWN* this.

The agenda for the third session was really content-heavy. In a little more than two hours, we hoped to “cover” the following:

Direct Instruction (Teacher Centered Approach)
Learning Centers (Learner Centered Approach)
Developing Rubrics
Energizing Classroom Discussions
Cooperative Learning

Let’s take a step back for a moment:

Our “Big Ideas” for the class included 1) teaching-as-relationships; 2) articulating and sticking to your big idea; and 3) reflective practice.
Even as late as the day before the first class, we were uncertain how many participants there would be – ten had expressed an interest, but only four had RSVP’d at that point.
Consequently, we fleshed out the first two sessions pretty thoroughly, including a wide variety of interactive, different-style strategies. We were less thorough in outlining the last two, largely because there’s a world of difference in what you plan for four people instead of for ten people.
The topics listed above were fairly “interactive” by their very nature.

BIG MISTAKE

We forgot one of those core truths we know so well and espouse all the time – even while we were teaching the above topic: LECTURING DOESN’T WORK. It doesn’t work for kids; it doesn’t work for teachers; and it doesn’t work for my colleague and me. IT DOESN’T WORK. Period. Full stop.

In my/our rush to convey as much “content” as possible, we forgot that core truth.

Within three minutes of beginning my intro to Learning Centers, I knew it was going poorly …. and I knew what I should have done instead. I was explaining (instead of showing) a technique to people who had no framework to put the information into. Given that the overwhelming majority of learners are visual (60% by some accounts) instead of auditory or kinesthetic – what was I thinking of?!? I cut my presentation short… and bounced the topics back to my colleague.

Now he “does” rubrics really well and is great at cooperative learning…. but our participants weren’t with us – they’d already checked out. From a vibrant, alive, energized group the preceding week, they had become transformed into a group of unresponsive chairwarmers, who kept looking at the clock. So very sad.

And we (my colleague and I) had turned them off ALL BY OURSELVES. We cut the class short – distributed evaluations – and barely waited until they were out of the room before we debriefed. We read their evaluations of the session - they were right on key.

The question rapidly became – how do we address this next week? Keeping in mind one of our Big Ideas was that reflective practice is key to improving one’s ability to “reach and teach,” we knew that we needed to open the following class with an admission of what went wrong, taking ownership for our mistakes, AND show how to handle a class that “flumphs.”

So we did. The next week, I brought in the worksheets, instructions, center signs, support materials and check lists for two center programs I’d worked on within the last year (one for 3-5 grade students; one for a family education program). I spread the materials out on the table before the students arrived. Their eyes lit up when they walked in the room.

We began the class by saying, “We blew it last week – we talked instead of showing you. So this week, we brought in materials to show and do.” One student asked if the evaluations they filled out had indicated that there was too much talking and not enough doing. I said (honestly), “No, I knew within 5 minutes of beginning that I’d made a mistake; but your evaluations confirmed specifically what that mistake was and how to rectify it.”

They had a chance to handle materials, ask questions, see how things fit together. I reminded them that I hadn’t provided six or seven centers with multiple activities when I first began using centers. I plucked out the single art, game, and writing activities I might have used at the very beginning. Their questions clearly indicated they were engaged with the activity.

My colleague led the next exercise showing how cooperative learning can be used. He lead a “Stand-Up; Hands-Up; Pair-Up” activity and when we were done, we demonstrated how to “coach” participants into coming up with an answer (instead of telling them what the answer is) and talked about a variety of ways in which this technique could be adapted. Nodding, eager heads let us know the message had been received! We then followed up with a couple of team-building exercises (round-table where they wrote “A Love Poem to Shabbat”), and had them reflect on how they thought the activities had gone.

As a final piece of our final class – we reviewed some of the planning materials in their session folder. For each session, we had provided a folder of materials/resources that they could explore at their leisure. This final folder, however, was somewhat different in that it included a number of suggestions for planning for the year, materials they should get from their director before they start teaching, and ongoing ways to stay on top of their game during their first year.

This session was a vast improvement over the one we'd “fumphed” the week before. I’m glad we ended with this one. I never would have intentionally “fumphed” a lesson, but there was merit in showing how you can recover from a “fumph” – and also in showing that all of us “fumph” at some point or another, no matter how long we’ve been doing this.

A final note: there are some very lucky kids in our community who will have the opportunity to learn with some great adults who are committed to their own Jewish learning, and to making a difference in the lives of our Jewish kids. May they continue to go from strength to strength.

Update on the "Wanna-Be's"

2009-05-25T09:30:00.003-04:00

So here we are, more than four weeks after the last post. The class is finished …. and how do I think it went?

First of all, a couple of corrections: Three of the eight participants were already teaching before the class began. An additional one had a job lined up for the fall. Two were considering career changes (into education) and thought this would be a way to gain information on the way to making an informed decision. The remaining two participants were interested in the topic – had not decided whether they were going to teach in congregational/supplemental schools or not.

So, how’d it go? Overall, really well – with one big “fumph” in the middle (more about that later).

My colleague and I had decided to be as interactive in our teaching as possible – our goal was to model the “how-to” as well as share the content information.

We began with a session on Mind-Mapping, as a “getting to know you” activity. After they explained their maps, we posted them in the room each time we met. I’m going to introduce this technique in a class for teens I’m teaching this fall!

Our next activity asked them to take a quiz to determine where they fell on the list of multiple intelligences – and then to work with a partner to suggest an auditory, visual, and kinesthetic activity they could incorporate in a lesson to teach a topic of their choice. The quiz was “okay” – next time we might ask them to select from a variety of activities those that are most attractive to them and get at the MI approach in that way. The A-V-K activity was enjoyable – and productive. Just need a larger board to write their responses on.

My colleague does this wonderful piece on introducing the concept of “Big Ideas,” which he defines as an over-arching idea that will guide your teaching for the year. It provides a focus, and helps ensure that activities that you choose for the class to engage in are chosen because they support the “Big Idea” – not just because they are “fun to do.” He provided a couple of different scenarios and had the participants determine a) whether there was a big idea that was apparent to them; and b) whether the activities supported the big idea. Fascinating conversation – I’m always thrilled when students see something in the material that I haven’t seen. This activity got high marks from the class. When I plan for my fall class, I’ll need to specifically articulate a “Big Idea” – what will be guiding my teaching; what do I want them to learn; what’s the relevance?

Classroom middot/values and their effect on establishing a learning environment that’s safe and respectful for all was next on the list. I could tell it was a “new” topic for many of them, not surprisingly. Many new teachers – as well as many with a lot of experience – approach classroom management issues from a “discipline” [read “punishment and rewards”] perspective. That’s never worked really well for me. I’ve found instead that respect and safety, with a gentle insistence on those two characteristics, often get me results where I spend minimal time dealing with obnoxious behaviors. I shared with the class, the list of middot I’ve shared here, as well as my earlier post on Values-Based Decision Making. After we all talked about the values on the list, I handed out three dot stickers and asked them to “spend” their dots on the three middot that they felt were crucial in their classrooms-to-be. Feedback on that exercise was very positive, both that week and subsequently. Now I’m wondering how I can integrate this activity into my teen classroom this fall. I know I can use it in the teacher training workshops I’ll be doing. But in the classroom….? Not sure – comments/suggestions would be welcome here.

One evening I brought a wide variety of resource books in – many from the ARE “Teaching….” series (now available from Behrman House); some great new publications from Torah Aura (Active Jewish Learning is my new favorite, along with the Artzeinu Teacher’s Guide). They *LOVED* the chance to browse and pull out ideas. We’ll definitely do that again.

A final piece that worked really well – my typical four-question evaluation sheet distributed at the end of every class:

What one thing did you learn during this session?
What did you think worked particularly well?
What needs to be improved next time?
Other comments:

Not only did it help them begin the reflective process – it provided us with the necessary information when things didn’t go well….. More about that in my next posting!

A New Group of "Wanna-Be's"

2009-04-24T10:02:00.004-04:00

A colleague and I are preparing for a new class of people who are thinking “maybe-I-wanna-be-a-Jewish-teacher.” The Lay Educators Institute (LEI) is funded in part by our local Federation.

This group will differ from the one we taught last fall primarily because none of the participants are currently teaching. Consequently, they won’t have an opportunity to mesh theory (what we present) and practice immediately.

Another difference is the class framework. Instead of 6 classes of two hours each, we’ll be teaching 4 classes of three hours each.

A final difference is that the participants won’t know each other (because they’re not working together) before the class begins and they won’t be able to share with each other or reflect on their classroom experience together between sessions.

It’ll be interesting to see how the group evolves.

When my colleague and I met earlier this week to plan, we began as we hope to teach our participants to begin: We began with the “Big Idea.” What is it, we asked ourselves, that we want the participants to come away from these classes with; what’s the most important thing they should know?

Ultimately, we decided on a couple of “Big Ideas.”

We want them to know that teaching is all about relationships – the relationships they form with their students; the relationship they develop within themselves as a result of getting to know themselves better.

We want them to know that being able to articulate a “big idea” for their year, their unit, and their individual class is the cornerstone of effective planning/teaching. Without the “big idea,” the rest simply doesn’t hang together well or consistently.

We want them to know that “reflective practice” (the ability to stop and self-assess) will make a qualitative difference in how they interact with their students.

Then we made some key decisions about how we would get there.

Instead of “telling,” we will do: learning will be interactive, incorporating different learning strategies and incorporating a variety of techniques.

We will provide a wide variety of handouts, with multiple handouts on the same topic. Our goal is to present the same information through different “voices” in order to help them find a voice that speaks to them.

At the end of each class, we will “stop action” and delineate clearly what we did, the big ideas behind our choices, the strategies we used – and offer participants an opportunity to critique our effectiveness.

I’m psyched:
*I value the opportunity to teach with this colleague: we bring out the best in each other.
*It’ll be fun to change things and shake the learning up a bit.
*I love the opportunity to work with adults who want to make a difference in the lives of our kids.

Stay tuned!

Liberating Oneself

2009-04-13T08:00:00.002-04:00

Part 4 of 4...

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
I. When people are slaves, they do what they’re told. Doing more than what you’re told to do may result in punishment; doing less that what you’re told will certainly result in punishment. Compare and contrast that behavior to the behaviors free people exhibit.

II. When you find yourself in a new situation (for example, in a new class or on a new team)

do you find yourself worried about what the teacher or the coach expects of you?
How do you figure out what those expectations are?
If the limits seem too narrowly drawn, how do you respond?
If the limits are very broad, how do you respond?
Are you more comfortable when you know EXACTLY what the teacher wants; or do you prefer more flexibility the work you are able to do?

What insights do these questions provide for you in recognizing the challenges the Israelites faced in becoming “free” thinkers and do-ers?

III. Looking back over some experiences you’ve had, do you value more the things that you learned to do that came easily to you, or the things that you had to work at? What if all your experiences came so easily that you didn’t have to exert any effort at all? What if all of them seemed so difficult as to be insurmountable?

IV. Do you have a vision of the type of Jewish adult you'd like to become?

What values will you adopt as core values -- those that will guide your decision-making?
In order to reach that definition of self, what shackles will you need to liberate yourself from or what barriers will you need to overcome?
How will you know when you're on your way towards becoming the person you want to be?
What milestones along the way might you acknowledge or celebrate?

In the Haggadah, we read "B'chol dor vador chayav adam lirot et atzmo k'ilu yatza mi'Mitzrayim / In each generation, everyone must think of himself or herself as having personally left Egypt."

Many time, I believe that the questions we push ourselves to ask are more important than the answers we reach.

Chag Sameach. Happy Holiday.

Appreciating

2009-04-12T08:00:00.003-04:00

Part 3 of 4...

At many Sederim (ritual meals to celebrate the holiday of Passover) one of the most enthusiastically-rendered songs is Dayeinu. In Hebrew, the rough translation of the word means, "It would have been enough!" The melody is lively - the chorus repeats and even young children frequently chime in.

Dayeinu
Ilu hotsi, hotsianu,
hotsianu mimitsrayim,
hotsianu mimitsrayim,
Dayeinu!

Had God brought us out of Egypt, and not supported us in the wilderness,
It would have been enough!

Chorus: Da, dayeinu! (3X)
Dayeinu! Dayeinu!

It would have been enough!

Ilu natan, natan lanu,
natan lanu et hashabbat,
natan lanu et hashabbat,
Dayeinu!

Had God given us the Sabbath and not the Torah
It would have been enough!

Ilu natan, natan lanu,
natan lanu et hatorah,
natan lanu et hatorah,
Dayeinu!

Had God given us the Torah and not brought us to the land of Israel
It would have been enough!

COMMENTARY
"Dayenu teaches us to switch from the mentality of always wanting more to being grateful for what we have." (Source: A Family Haggadah II; Shoshana Silberman; Kar-Ben Copies; 1997).

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
I. When it comes to goal setting, so often we focus on the ultimate goal and forget to acknowledge or celebrate the steps along the way. When tasks seem too overwhelming, organizational and time-management experts counsel us to break the task into smaller steps. This helps prevent a sense of being paralyzed by the enormity of the task.

In your own life, identify some steps worth celebrating on a goal you are working towards.

II. What are some things in your life that you are grateful for? How can you incorporate a sense of mindfulness for those things into your daily life?

Questioning

2009-04-11T08:00:00.002-04:00

Part 2 of 4...

What does it mean to have a questioning personality?

COMMENTARY
Have you ever had a really great teacher, a teacher who loved your questions, whom you could always count on to at least try to answer you? It's really hard to be a wise child unless there are some wise grownups around to help you.
~Joy Levitt (p. 49)

The wicked child might not be wicked at all; perhaps she is just expressing our doubts--what is the purpose of all this trouble that you put yourself through at Pesach? Are you really working for freedom? Annoyed at someone who give voice to our own fears, we react harshly to hide our feelings. The wicked child becomes our scapegoat.
~Michael Strassfeld (p. 50)

The word tam has many connotations ranging from stupid, to simple, to innocent, to pious. How would you define this child? Is a person who asks a basic question stupid or just young or curious? Do you ever hold back from asking a question for fear that you ought to know the answer, that the question itself is too simple? In the Torah, Noah, Jacob, and Job are all called tam. Does this mean they were pious or simple?
~Joy Levitt (p. 51)

Sometimes we are silenced because we become convinced that we have nothing to contribute or that those we might address do not want to hear from us. Sometimes we are silenced because we believe that what we say will make no difference or ever perhaps may make things worse. To come out of our silence, we need to recognize that people care about us and value who we are and what we can do. Each of us is sometimes silenced, and each of us can help end the silence of others.
~David Teutsch (p. 51)

(Source: A Night of Questions: A Passover Haggadah; Levitt, Rabbi Joy and Strassfeld, Rabbi Michael (ed); Reconstructionist Press; Elkins Park, PA; 2007)

Rabbi Israel Salanter says, "We have all the four children in each of us." (Passover Haggadah: The Feast of Freedom; The Rabbinical Assembly; USCJ)

QUESTIONS
I. What do you think the four different children represent?

II. How would you characterize their questions? What do you think they are really asking?

III. What are the four NEW questions that you would ask?

[Note: see my earlier posting on the "Four Generations."]

Remembering

2009-04-10T08:00:00.002-04:00

Part 1 of 4...

Exodus 1:8 A new king arose over Egypt who did not know Joseph.

COMMENTARY

1:8 who did not know Joseph He was ignorant of or indifferent to the extraordinary service that Joseph had rendered to Egypt and the crown. He did not let the information change his outlook. Through much of Jewish history, the people’s well-being depended on the goodwill of a ruler. When the leadership changed, the fortunes of the Jewish community often changed as well. Pharaoh begins by refusing to acknowledge Joseph, and later refusing to acknowledge God, saying, “Who is the LORD that I should heed Him?” [Exod. 5:21]

(Source: Etz Hayim: Torah and Commentary; The Rabbinical Assembly; USCJ)

POSSIBLE DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

I. This story begins with the statement that a new king arose in Egypt who did not know Joseph. For how long should someone’s meritorious contributions be remembered and affect the way his/her descendents are regarded?

Contrast this first statement with the frequent references in Jewish liturgy to the Exodus:

a. ani adonai elocheihem asher hotziti etchem mei’eretz mitzrai’im “I am Adonai your God who brought you out of the land of Egypt” (v’ahavta)
b. moshe umiriam uvney yis’rael leha anu shira besimhah rabah ve’ameru hulam “Moses, Miriam, and all athe Israelites broke out in song, abundant in their joy, and all as one, they said…”(Mi Hamohah)
c. zeher li’tzi’at mitzrai’im “[remember] the Exodus from Egypt” (Kiddush)
d. mi’mitzrai’im g’altanu adonai eloheinu u’mibeit avadim f’ritanu “From Egypt you redeemed us Adonai our God, and from the house of servitude you rescued us.” (Pesukey Dezimrah, Emet Veyatziv)

Why do you think that those who compiled our siddur decided to include so many references to our Exodus from Egypt?

II. Sometimes, when we frequently recall difficult past experiences, people get impatient and tell us to “Get over it – it’s done. You have to live in the present.” Is the emphasis in these citations on the slavery experience (an admittedly “difficult” experience) or on the liberation – becoming a free people? Share some thoughts on why it could be beneficial to remember the process of becoming a free people.

(Source: Oseh Shalom "Exodus" curriculum; co-written by Rabbi Gary S. Fink and Mary F. Meyerson; © 2004)

III. Think about a difficult time in your family's history which became a watershed event -- your family's story became divided between "before [the event] and after [the event]." Has the story been retold? Has it changed in the retelling? What "lesson" did your family learn from this event? Why is it important to remember?

Pesach: Putting Ourselves Into the Story

2009-04-09T15:07:00.002-04:00

Back in the day (when I was teaching!) one spring I offered a 4 week elective for post-b'nai mitzvah students in the month leading up to Passover. It was described as an opportunity to re-examine four main themes of Passover:

Remembering
Questioning
Appreciating
Liberating Oneself

As I was engaged in my pre-Passover preparations this year, I found myself thinking about these themes once again.

Beginning tomorrow - and for the next four days -- I'll reprise some of the notes from my lesson preparations.

Hope they resonate for you, too.

Chag Pesach Sameach/ Happy Passover.

The Four Generations

2009-04-02T08:00:00.003-04:00

An Adaptation of "The Four Children"

This was the interpretive reading we used the Passover that was the last one we had with my mother-in-law. I wish I could remember where I got it, but I don't. I hope you find it as thought-provoking as I do.

The Torah commands parents to tell the Passover story to their children. The traditional Haggadah talks about the four types of children, with different questions and attitudes about Passover and Judaism.

Tonight, as we share our table and our tradition with generations of our family, we have adapted the questions for four generations.

The future generation asks, “What will I inherit?” While each future generation will have to make its own commitments, if we could speak to them, we would say, we will preserve the Order of the Seder and the wisdom of our fathers and mothers for you. We would say to this generation, “We will keep alive the message of the Haggadah about the nature of freedom and justice, and about the need to act to make the world a better place for generations to come.”

The children’s generation asks, “What does all of this mean to me? What of myself will I bring to the Seder? How shall I maintain and add to my tradition?” In doing so, this child commits himself or herself to our community. Say to this child, “We are thankful that you are fully here. Be assured, because you sing and read and drink and eat with us, you will know and you will add to the meaning of the Seder. Take confidence from your presence here.”

The parents’ generation says, “Where have we come from?” We have merged from the ashes of the Holocaust, seen the birth of Israel, the release of Jews from Russia and Ethiopia, the shattering of the Communist empire, the re-emergence of hate and bigotry in a hundred forms. We have struggled with our own concepts of Judaism.” Tell this generation, “You are celebrating and learning because you are now free. Because you have struggled with your tradition and have enriched it with your selves, it will last as a gift to your children and your children’s children.”

And what about the grandparents, whose question is almost too difficult to ask? “What have we accomplished?” To the grandparents, you shall say, “Look around the table. All of this…. and more.”

“And the old shall dream dreams and the youth shall see visions
And our hopes will rise to the sky
We must live for today, we must build for tomorrow
Give us time, give us strength, give us life”
~Debbie Friedman

Pesach is Coming!

2009-03-31T08:00:00.005-04:00

Update: Since this was written, in 2004, both children have graduated from college. Our Seder table is filled with friends we’ve had seder with for almost 20 years – and their grown children; with cousins who live in town; and adult friends of our kids’ who come to learn and to share. In re-reading this one more time, I’m struck again by my in-laws’ generosity in welcoming me in to their family, in sharing their rituals and customs so lovingly, and in supporting and sustaining us through the difficulties we’ve faced. We’ve been blessed.

Pesach is coming! Pesach is coming! The mantra in my mind begins shortly after Tu B'shevat, when I walk into grocery stores and see the first boxes of matzah stacked in the aisle. "Oh, no," I think, "Pesach is coming. I've got to get ready."

When I began to explore Judaism, Pesach was the most overwhelming of all of the rituals or practices. My husband-to-be took me home to his parents' in '78 before we got married. I'd been there often enough to recognize the pervasive changes in his mother’s kitchen. I panicked -- I knew I could never "keep Pesach" the way she did.... I suspected you had to be "born Jewish" in order to know all the rules... I had no intention of converting at that point. We had decided to raise our children as Jews and maintain a Jewish home -- and it would be my husband’s responsibility to pull those pieces together.

We continued to "go home for Seder" for the next couple of years, when we could. The holiday became more familiar, but no less overwhelming. By this time, I was studying with Rabbi Gene Lipman, z'l, and (although I had not yet decided to convert) knew that to "do Pesach" would take more than just my husband’s efforts -- it would have to be a family affair. I asked my mother-in-law how she ever managed to remember everything. She shared with me her “secret for remembering details" when she showed me her manila folder labeled "Pesach." Huh! I realized that meant we wouldn't have to remember everything -- just where we put the folder. Maybe this was possible after all.

In 1982, the emotional content attached to Pesach struck me with full force. That year, my mother-in-law greeted us at the door with outstretched arms as she took her grandson from me. "Pesach is coming," she crooned, "Pesach is here!"

Our son had been born 8 weeks prematurely the preceding fall. His English names remembered three out of his four great-grandfathers. But when it came to the name he would be called to Torah, I flat-out refused to name him "Fishel." "No son of mine is going to be called Little Fish," I sniffed to Rabbi Lipman. Gene grinned, as only Gene could when he knew he'd stirred up a storm, and suggested that we consider a name beginning with the "pey" sound. He made some suggestions. Finally, I settled on "Pesach" thinking, how appropriate it was for this child who had been so at-risk. My husband concurred: our son became Pesach.

That year, my father-in-law read from the haggadah (Maxell House, of course -- was there any other?) the mandate to tell the story as if we ourselves had been saved. I watched that little baby being passed around the table from person to person and the full impact began to sink in. For the first time since his birth six months earlier, I paused in my busy-ness. My son -- by the grace of God and modern medicine -- had been saved. The Angel of Death didn't stop by his crib in the Neonatal ICU. No sooner had I begun to grasp that reality than another one struck. By our decision, he would be Jewish -- no, that wasn't exactly accurate: by my decision he would be Jewish.

I could have said, "no," you see -- I could have said to my husband when we were courting: "Gee, I can't agree to raise our kids Jewish." Or "Gee, if that's what you want, I can't marry you." But I had agreed -- and the emotional import of that decision was beginning to make itself felt. By agreeing to raise our children as Jews in a Jewish household, I had also agreed not to raise them with the meaningful traditions I had grown up with. The holiday rituals, the life cycle rituals, the ebb and flow of the annual calendar, the sense of spirituality and the Divine -- all would be from his tradition and none from mine.

So along with the sense of redemption came a sense of loss. And I was struck again by how "in sync" I felt with how I imagined the Israelites must have felt -- leaving the familiar (even if, in their case, it was so bad) for the unknown must have involved a sense of loss as well as excitement, relief and liberation. How could it be otherwise?

When we went home that year, I bought a manila folder and inserted in it my mother-in-law’s recipe for chicken soup with matzah balls and my father-in-law’s recipe for matzah brei. It was a beginning.

Over the next few years, we made many decisions: when to clean and how much; who to ask to seder; what haggadah; separate dishes or not -- and did that mean pots & pans, too?; which foods to serve; who gets the afikoman prize; to sing or not (traditionally, my husband’s family didn't -- we do, but not a lot!). There was the year that Pesach only ate Cheerios (before the Kosher for Passover substitute) -- that was the year I declared Cheerios were "kosher-for-Passover-but-only-in-the-kitchen." My orthodoxly-raised mother-in-law rose to the occasion: she kept a spare box in the laundry room! Pesach was coming, you see.

Or the year that both my kids were eating only peanut butter. I was *not* going to spend 8 days in food wars -- that's not my definition of freedom. So peanut butter (a new jar untainted by bread crumbs) was declared "kosher l'pesach" by Rabbi Mom. (It was interesting to note that the Conservative Rabbis followed suit four years later!)

There was the year my daughter begged me to buy extra boxes of sugared fruit slices because all her friends kept snitching hers. And the year, my father-in-law and his brother-in-law grated horseradish root in the kitchen -- and the fumes were so intense their tears flowed freely -- and the rest of us were in gales of laughter for hours. (My father-in-law got a horseradish dish for Chanukah the following year -- and the laughter began all over). Or the year that I put symbols of the plagues on the table and challenged the kids to figure out which symbols represented which plague -- my kids were disdainful: they were too old for such nonsense. But next year, they searched until they found where I’d stashed the toys and insisted that they be on the table.

Or the year -- the one that ended up being our last all together -- when against familial protests, I inserted an adaptation of "The Four Children" entitled "The Four Generations." That reading ends: "And what about the grandparents, whose question is almost too difficult to ask? To the grandparents you shall say, "Look around the table. All of this and more." That was the year my in-laws schlepped chicken soup and pot roast on the plane from Florida – and my father-in-law again commandeered my kitchen to make matzah brei. The following year, we cried our way through seder: my mother-in-law had died unexpectedly right before Purim.

This year, Pesach is coming home early (spring break doesn't coincide), but he's asked to take Grandpa's matzah brei recipe back for his dorm mates. It will be our last Passover with our daughter home. I'll dig out my folders (they've grown to four), find my recipe for Passover granola, and decide that closets don't have to be cleaned, since we don't normally eat there and what would chametz being doing in the closet any way...

Tears and laughter; laughter and tears. Over time as the journey unfolded, the rituals have become as familiar as a favorite sweatshirt. Truth be told -- I find the preparations for Passover still almost overwhelming. But there is familiarity in the overwhelming-ness. I enjoy the Seder, and take comfort that it's finally become familiar -- but it's not my favorite part.

My favorite part of Passover? When I sit at the kitchen table on the first morning of Pesach -- crunching my matzah, watching the birds, rediscovering all my favorite Passover accoutrements. My house is clean, my menus planned for the next eight days, the office is closed. I pause. And remember. And feel connected to the generations of Jews who have gone before us. And I thank the Eternal for both life and freedom -- and the gift of being able to choose and recommit.

Pesach is coming! Pesach is coming! Excuse me, I've got to get ready!

Changes in How I Teach About Israel

2009-03-29T08:00:00.002-04:00

these comments are from a report I recently gave to my Israel Educators Institute group, on the changes I've made in the last 6 six year in how I teach about Israel

Upon reflection, it’s evident to me that the role of Israel in the programming I do has changed significantly since I began directing at Oseh Shalom in 2002. The quality and frequency of programming has increased markedly in the last year, attributable to both this program [Israel Educators Institute] and my involvement with Mitzvah Heroes Fund.

What have I learned about successful programming?

Some aspect of Israeli life can be incorporated into many of the programs I do. It’s not necessary for a “stand alone” program to raise Israel awareness.
The connection needs to be relevant to the topic at hand.
Target audiences seem to relate best to stories about individuals – ie, the relationship aspect.
They are frequently eager to find points of commonality with Israel and Israelis.
There are a wealth of resources available, once one begins to figure out where and how to look for them (see some suggestions below).
Powerpoints using up-to-date graphics, photographs and illustrations carry more impact than dated videos or movies, or sepia-toned photographs.

Beginning List of Resources

The Home Page for Israel21c. Click on “links” for access to websites in 16 different topic areas.

Deviant Art for photographs about Israel. Type “Israel” in the search box. You may add filters (such as “flora,” “Tel Aviv,” or “camels”) to narrow the results.

Artzeinu: An Israel Encounter Teacher’s Guide has a wealth of information, as well as internet sites for additional information, pictures, videos, etc.

The Arava Institute for Environmental Studies (AIES) is a regional center for environmental leadership. By encouraging environmental cooperation between peoples, the Arava Institute is working towards peace and sustainable development regionally and globally.

Among other features of this Kibbutz Ketura website is a “virtual tour” of the Kibbutz. Click on “interactive map” for more information.

For sources to identify Israeli needs for tzedakah to weave into your program: Mitzvah Heroes Fund, Inc.

How has your programming/teaching about Israel changed in the last few years?

Lev B'Lev - Reflections

2009-03-26T08:00:00.000-04:00

So, ultimately, the questions remain:
What worked?
What didn’t?
What should we do differently next time?

What worked:

The key concepts made sense, hung together, and worked
Having someone help by reviewing the materials for teachers prior to distribution
The instant lesson from Torah Aura on “Rambam’s Rungs”
Involving congregational school kids AND day school kids in a morning of learning
Asking participating schools to plan to arrive between 9:45 and 10:00, so the program could begin promptly at 10:00
Assigning students to groups prior to arrival
Having extra name labels on hand
Identifying good presenters for the topics
Giving presenters a “two minute warning” before the end of their sessions.
Little time lost in transitions
Having envelopes with labels ready to go for tzedakah allocations
Literature to go home was distributed at the end of the program, counted and in pre-labeled bags by school.

What didn't work as well:

The arrival was chaotic, especially for schools who traveled by carpool.
Some of the adult chaperones felt the groups were too large
Some felt the hallways were too crowded during the transitions.
One teacher said she could have used the teaching materials earlier in the year.
We scrambled for presenters at the last minute.
The microphone on stage didn’t work.

What we will do differently next year:

Begin to identify presenters in the fall, as soon as we have a date on the calendar.
Distribute teaching materials in September, so the teachers have adequate time to integrate the materials into their teaching. (This year, there were only three Sunday sessions between the time I distributed the materials and the morning of the program.)
Order materials over the summer, so they are ready to go in the fall.
Designate the gym as the gathering/arrival place – and get the sign-in sheets to security from the gym instead of at the door.
Plan for 12 presenters and 12 rooms (instead of 8 and 8) – that will allow for smaller, more interactive groups and less crowding in the hallway at transition times.
Plan a better (stronger) intro session. Continue to use Debbie Friedman’s song – or find a different one? Begin with a brachah/blessing?
Make sure chaperones know about the on-line evaluation survey.
Design a paper/pencil survey for the kids?
Design an evaluation piece for the presenters?

Overall, feedback on the program, presenters, and content has been very positive. But, as always, there’s room to tweak it and make it even better next year!

Lev B'Lev - Programming

2009-03-24T08:00:00.002-04:00

Once we defined the key concepts (see the previous post) and put the curricular materials in the teachers’ hands, program design and implementation should have been fairly straightforward. “Should have been” being the operative statement!

We chose the following quote from Maimonides to use in organizing the structure of our Lev B’Lev Program:

עני שהוא קרובו, קודם לכל אדם; ועניי ביתו, קודמין לעניי עירו; ועניי עירו, קודמין
לעניי עיר אחרת:

“The needy who is your relative should be helped before all others; the needy in your neighborhood come before the needy in your city; the needy in your city come before the needy around the world.”
(Rambam, Gifts to the Poor, 7:13)

Dividing students into four groups, we decided, would allow presenters to discuss four different categories of tzedakah:

the needy who is your relative --> we decided to define our synagogue communities as our “extended Jewish family” – and look for someone to discuss rabbinic discretionary funds
the needy in your neighborhood/city --> we decided to look for a local non-Jewish organization that helped meet immediate needs
the needy around the world --> we decided to look for a national organization that had a “bigger picture” impact.
Our final category, we decided, would focus on the needy in Israel – as representatives of both our Jewish “family” and “around the world.”

Once we made our decision to program in this way, we ran into an unanticipated “glitch.”

Much to our surprise, once the key concepts were articulated, the projected number of student participants more than doubled – from 125 to 270! How very exciting! … except…..

…except the rooms we had reserved wouldn't hold twice the participants
…except doubling the size of the groups meant the presentations couldn't be as interactive
…except that meant we needed twice the number of materials

What to do? Change the format to accept the larger numbers? Or retain the format and double every thing else? After some serious discussion, we decided to remain with the original format we had sketched out – and double the space, presenters, and resources. We also realized that greater attention would need to be focused on the logistics of moving people from one point to another, while watching the clock very carefully to keep things “on time.”

Our host site - a local Jewish Day School - was most accomodating: they cheerfully increased the number of rooms available to us. In return, we extended an invitation to their fifth grade students to join us for the program.

One of my local contacts volunteered to present about the homeless shelter she works at (Shelter House), and suggested two other contacts (one involved with Moms for a Cure, with the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society, and one with Computer C.O.R.E which provides training for under- and un-employed individuals). Another friend recommended a community rabbi to talk about rabbinic discretionary funds. A colleague recommended Israel Guide Dogs for the Blind and I was grateful to find someone to present about Mitzvah Heroes Fund.

Only two slots remained: another national/international slot and another person to talk about rabbinic discretionary funds.

What to do? The admissions director at the Day School called me: her 14 year old daughter got involved with supporting a needy school in Kenya for her bat mitzvah project.... and has continued her involvement since her bat mitzvah. Could she participate in our program? The young woman and I spoke.... she provided me with an outline.... and she became one of our presenters!

What to do? One slot left - rabbinic discretionary funds. By this time, I'd contacted over a dozen local rabbis - none of whom were available on Sunday morning, especially with such short notice. (Our community was also having its first ever community wide adult education day on the same day!)

Finally, I called someone who's been involved in synagogue life as well as on the national level as a board member of the Jewish Reconstructionist Federation. Morah Val has been my personal teacher and mentor for over a decade: she'd been a member of my teaching staff (so I knew she was good with kids), and understands the checks and balances that are critical pieces in the financial dealings of a non-profit organization. She'd even been involved in developing the procedures for her synagogue's rabbinic discretionary fund.

In the meantime, I'd laid out the floor plan, decided how the 277 students would be divided into groups (in advance of the morning's program), how sign-in procedures would work, and how groups would move from one presenter to the next.

I got up the morning of the program and realized, I'd not prepared at all for the introductory session! Fortunately, my laptop had a copy of Debbie Friedman's "To Save a Life" on it and although my ipod decided to run a funky "reset" message that I didn't have time to deal with -- my laptop was good to go.

Participants arrived early, as requested, so that the program could begin promply at 10:00. I welcomed them and -- because the microphone wasn't working -- carried my laptop into the middle of the gym so they could hear Debbie singing that "when you save a life, you save a world." I introduced our presenters as people who were saving lives -- and worlds -- and sent the students off to their rotations.

By 10:20 - students were learning and the halls were quiet. (It was a little unnerving, the quiet...)

By 11:45, we were all back in the gym. Students had heard four presentations and were ready to decide how to allocate their tzedakah dollar. Envelopes with pre-labeled selections were distributed, along with pencils for students to mark their choices. Once we collected the envelopes, students had an opportunity to share their reflections, in response to the question: What one thing did you learn today?

The learning was significant:

I learned that little amounts of money add up
I learned that dogs can help people be independent
I learned that we have so much here to be thankful for.
I learned that there are lots of reasons why people are hungry.
I learned that we can make a difference.
I learned that we have to take care of others.
I learned that we need to be careful how our tzedakah money is used.

My favorite comment, however, was written on one of the envelopes in which a student had placed his or her tzedakah and carefully allocated it among three of the categories of organizations.

The student wrote: I am saving a life.... I am saving a world.

Lev B'Lev - Key Concepts

2009-03-22T08:00:00.002-04:00

I’ve recently completed a regional program for fifth graders on tzedakah/philanthropic giving.

It’s the middle program in a three-year sequence dealing with “giving Jewishly.” Year One (for fourth graders) focuses on doing things to help others and, appropriately so, is called “Mitzvah Mania.” Year Three (for sixth graders) focuses on the work done by our local Federation which provides support for local Jewish partner agencies and (also appropriately) is called “Kallah,” which means “community.”

The Year Two program (for fifth graders), the one I worked on, is called “Lev B’Lev” or “Heart to Heart.” Our primary focus, as I said, was on giving money. The program was funded in part – as are the others in the series – by a grant from our local Federation. Part of what makes this program unique is that the fifth graders bring a dollar with them to donate to the organizations they learn about in the morning’s program.

The project design called for the following:

Development of three key concepts involved in deciding where to donate tzedakah.
Development of curricular materials which can be used by classroom teachers prior to the program.
Planning the program – organizing the structure, identifying the presenters, working with the hosting facility, purchasing materials
Communicating effectively – with the directors of the schools participating; the classroom teachers; the presenters; and the students
Analyzing and assessing the program upon completion.

As a result of my work this past year with the Mitzvah Heroes Fund, I found it relatively easy to decide on two of the three key concepts on which to base our program: Maimonides’ "Ladder of Tzedakah" and "Circles of Giving" (again, Maimonides).

The Ladder of Tzedakah outlines clearly Jewish responsibility for caring for the needy in our communities. Starting with “giving reluctantly and unwillingly,” one can move all the way “up” the ladder to “teaching someone how to provide for him or herself.” The particular point I asked teachers to make with their students is that giving tzedakah is a mitzvah, in the commandment sense of the word. No where does it say giving tzedakah is optional. Torah Aura has a neat instant lesson that we got for the teachers to use with their classes. Called “Rambam’s Rungs” (Rambam is another name for Maimonides), it provides students with an opportunity to consider where different scenarios fall on the tzedakah ladder.

The second concept addressed the question: “To whom do we give?”

This is an area of grave concern within the Jewish community: should Jews give only to Jewish organizations or should they give to non-Jewish organizations as well? Advocates come down strongly on either side of the question. Demographic data gathered within the last decade indicate that younger Jews are no longer supporting Jewish tzedakah organizations as their parents and grandparents did – many times with dire results for the agencies and the people they serve.

And yet, even in the days of Maimonides, we were encouraged to support the local communities in which we live, with the understanding that they were not entirely Jewish. I found some wonderful materials at JustAction, a joint project between Hillel – The Foundation for Jewish Campus Life and Panim – The Institute for Jewish Leadership and Values. I ultimately decided to include non-Jewish organizations as part of this program, basically for two reasons:

1) My belief that Jewish values should permeate ALL of our actions, including our involvement in the communities around us; and

2) the sixth grade program (see above) will focus specifically on the work that the Federation does by supporting its partner agencies.

The final concept I decided to focus on is one I’ve become much more adamant about as a result of my involvement as a co-founder of and the treasurer for the Mitzvah Heroes Fund. It also was almost a no-brainer in light of the publicity surrounding the shanda/scandal of Bernie Madoff: We would learn about “due diligence.” Just-Tzedakah has a wonderfully well-written guide called “Smart Tzedakah” (scroll down near the center bottom of the home page) which sets forth clearly things to look for in evaluating whether the organization one is sponsoring is a good custodian of the funds it receives.

In summary then, these were the three key concepts we based our program on:

Maimonides’ Ladder of Tzedakah (How do we give?)
Circles of Giving (To whom do we give?)
Due Diligence (What’s "giving wisely"?)

Teachers were provided with source materials and some suggestions for implementation in advance of our program held on March 15th.

My next post will discuss how we implemented our concepts into the day's programming.

Pearls from Pain

2009-03-01T09:00:00.004-05:00

a drash

Several weeks ago, our congregation had its annual “Disability Awareness Shabbat.” Instead of a specific d’var torah/”words on the torah” (aka “sermon”), a congregant gave a drash/teaching on her experience as the parent of a child with multiple disabilities. Her children are about the same age as ours (mid- to late-twenties) and I’ve known her “somewhat” since we were much younger parents.

She spoke about the journey that she and her husband have been on since her child which diagnosed within a couple of weeks after birth with viral encephalitis – and the changes resulting from it: cognitively and physically.

She spoke eloquently about the grieving process that she and her husband went through:

The inevitable questions of how and why this could have happened as well as the anger and sadness took time to work through. Any person who has ever experienced a loss understands these emotions and can appreciate what it takes to deal with these feelings. Fortunately, we had a strong relationship and we understood the importance of finding something positive in dealing with this life altering experience. We also understood that our attitude towards our child would influence our [other] children’s attitude as well.
She spoke about the caring people along their journey who supported them; people who cared for their child and chose to establish their own relationship with him.

Even though there have been many caring people and her child – now an adult – has been able to have a quality of life surpassing that which was originally projected, my friend admitted:

All this being said, having a child like ours does not diminish the challenge and sometimes isolation we feel as parents. We have developed some wonderful friendships with other families who parent a child with special needs. It is within this community that we can share our experiences and know that we are not alone and can help one another.
She ends her drash by quoting from My Grandfather’s Blessings by Dr Naomi Reden.

In her book, she describes an oyster as being soft, tender, and vulnerable. Without the sanctuary of its shell it could not survive. But oysters must open their shells in order to “breathe” water. Sometimes while an oyster is breathing, a grain of sand will enter its shell and become a part of its life from then on.

Such grains of sand cause pain, but an oyster does not alter its soft nature because of this. It does not become hard and leathery in order not to feel. It continues to entrust itself to the ocean, to open and breathe in order to live. But it does respond. Slowly and patiently, the oyster wraps the grain of sand in thin translucent layers until, over time, it has created something of great value in the place where it is most vulnerable to its pain. A pearl might be thought of as an oyster’s response to its suffering. Not every oyster can do this. Oysters that do are more valuable to people than oysters that do not.
Sand is a way of life for an oyster. If you are soft and tender and must live on the sandy floor of the ocean, making pearls becomes a necessity if you are to live well.

She ends with her own bit of wisdom:

Disappointment and loss are a part of every life. Many times we can put such things behind us and get on with the rest of our lives. But not everything is amendable to this approach. Some things are too big or too deep to do this, and we will have to leave important parts of ourselves behind if we treat them in this way. These are the places where wisdom begins to grow in us. It begins with suffering that we do not avoid or rationalize or put behind us. It starts with the realization that our loss, whatever it is, has become a part of us and has altered our lives so profoundly that we cannot go back to the way it was before.

Something in us can transform such suffering into wisdom. The process of turning pain into wisdom often looks like a sorting process. First we experience everything. Then one by one we let things go, the anger, the blame, the sense of injustice, and finally even the pain itself, until all we have left is a deeper sense of the value of life and a greater capacity to live it.

It is with this thought that I believe our child has become my pearl.

I learned a lot that morning, listening to my friend share her pearls of wisdom with all of us. I especially like the acknowledgement that it's not always possible to "put it behind me and move on."... that feelings need to be experienced honestly before one can begin to let them go. And yet, over time, it is possible to value and life life more deeply and completely.

Wow.

"Tricks of the Trade"

2009-02-20T08:00:00.000-05:00

I tend to be a little compulsive when it comes to organizing materials for a specific program - especially if it's the first time I've worked with a group of people. Obviously, I want to put my best foot forward. While I can't control all the things that might come up, the more organized I am before I walk through the door, the fewer the "glitches" are which seem to occur with any program.

So where do I start?

I begin with the web format I discussed in my previous posting. Once I have two or three ideas listed in each content/modality area which pertain to the topic, I look at the whole program to determine both the flow of the program and its integrity – does it fit together? Does it make sense? Have I included enough different angles or perspectives from which participants can approach the topic? Once I’m satisfied with the answers to these questions, in short order I

determine space needs within the facility limitations
pull together a draft agenda
prepare center signs: I like to use a specific graphic relating to each center, and (when possible) a different type face.

During this stage, the program is still pretty fluid. Facility limitations often cause ideas to be reworked or eliminated. It’s hard, for example, to do a relay race if there’s insufficient space! “Facilities” also includes equipment: do we have access to a DVD player, a microphone, a sink? If not, can we adapt the activity or do we need to come up with a substitute? Sometimes the absence of someone with a specific talent also results in reworking or eliminating certain activities. Oftentimes I can rework an activity so that specialists are not necessary – or if they are available, I’ll rework the activity to take advantage of their expertise.

After the brainstorming and dealing with the big questions, I look at each area in turn to decide what this specific center needs in order for these specific activities to work easily.

In the Israel Center of the Tu B’Shevat program I just facilitated, for example, I decided on two activities: Make-your-own Hebrew weather flashcards AND Learn about the Arava Institute

Both good ideas, yes?

Both had barriers to overcome:

Many adults in the community are not fluent in Hebrew; much of the Hebrew language instruction in the School is oral, not written. Barrier: few people knew the Hebrew for the weather words; few can read the Hebrew; and few can write the words on the index cards. Solution: Labels were used to make the flash cards. Each label had a Hebrew word, the transliteration, and the English meaning. A poster was prepared that showed the same information next to an illustration of the word. Participants were encouraged to select the words they wanted, attach the label to an index card, and illustrate the meaning of the word in a way that made sense to them.

Barrier: One of the teachers of older children suggested this activity would probably bore her students. Solution: She suggested they be encouraged to write brief stories for younger students, incorporating the Hebrew vocabulary appropriately.

Barrier: Given the short amount of time to prepare, we had difficulty obtaining written material about the Arava Institute (our fault – not theirs!). Solution: One of the teachers suggested using their website to convey information. Barrier: the program was held in a rented facility without internet access. Solution: Using the graphics and copy available from the website, we produced Powerpoint that we were able to run on a laptop.

[You'll notice, I hope, that at this stage we actually increased the number of activities from two to three to address the potentially "it's too easy/boring" reaction of older students. The teacher provided good feedback and being open to what she offered prevented problems down the road.]

Once we were able to find solutions to the barriers, we began to prepare the following:

A flyer that contained a list of activities participants could choose to engage in
A supplies list (index cards, labels, markers, writing paper, pens/pencils, poster, powerpoint, laptop, extension cord, and a tzedakah box – since the Arava Institute was the tzedakah beneficiary that morning).
Directions for the teacher who was stationed at the center

We decided who would be responsible for getting which supplies. I emailed the directions to the school director and asked her to forward them to her staff with a request for feedback. (At some of the centers, I prepared samples and step-by-step instructions for the teachers to follow.)

I repeated this process for each of the different centers, as well as for the take-home materials.

Once the draft schedule was approved and centers were assigned to each space, I printed the agenda, the evaluation forms (see my previous post), two posters containing the entire list of activities by center, and flyers to be placed outside each room so people would know they were in the right place. Using a different graphic and type face for each center was a visual aid that allowed people to find their destination quickly when it was time to change activities.

I had prepared a master list by center of all the supplies and materials needed. As I gathered them, they were placed in a large zipper storage bag (like Ziploc or Glad bags), with the center sign visible. After I bagged the material for each center, I crossed it off my master list, zipped the bag shut AND didn't open the bag again. (I've learned - the hard way - that this is the only way I can ensure that I don't remove something, forget to return it, and find myself without a critical piece when I get to the program site!)

I always plan to get there at least ten minutes before I can get in to set up. That gives me the opportunity to take a deep breath and R-E-L-A-X.

It's not possible to foresee every eventuality or avoid every crisis, but attention to the details in the planning goes a long way!

Family Programs

2009-02-18T08:00:00.000-05:00

I’ve been working on a couple of large projects this past month.

Although they’ve been interesting, I’ve found myself struggling with the “brain fog” that often seems to hit in December and/or January, in which it takes a great deal of effort to stay focused and productive. But the days are growing longer and, this week, we were blessed with unseasonably warm weather. So now I know again, that winter will *not* last forever: Spring is on its way!

So, what – you might ask – have I been up to?

I just finished a Tu B’shevat program for a family program at a local synagogue. It was actually a lot of fun to prepare for! As a brainstorming tool, I used a web format like this:

I find it helps me a) make sure I include activities for different types of learners; and b) visualize the interrelationships between some of the areas.

You’ll notice that some of the areas are “content” areas (eg, Israel, Mitzvah work) and some are “modalities” (i.e, writing, art, drama) and some can be “either/or” (texts, music). Depending on the age of the group, I may add other ideas to the web. “Movement” is a popular one, as is “books or stories.” After brainstorming, I share the web with another person to see what ideas it triggers for them.

And then, I get to work!

Especially if it’s a multi-age program – but even if it’s not – I generally try to come up with more than one idea or activity for circle in the web, using Bloom’s taxonomy as a loose guide. For example, if the topic is “Tu B’shevat,” in the writing center, I might offer the following selections:

Write 15 things that come from trees.
Write a poem (haiku or acrostic) about some aspect of trees.
Write a journal entry as if you the boy in Shel Silverstein’s The Giving Tree trying to explain to his children why there were no trees planted on their street.
Pretend you are an inanimate object that helps people fulfill the mitzvah of bal tashchit/do not destroy. Describe yourself; tell what you do; discuss how you feel when people use you; and provide one rationale for people who ignore you to change their behavior.

Particularly for large-group program, but also for class lessons, I often like to provide participants with a variety of options from which to choose. If possible, I like to do this both when presenting the lesson, but also in reinforcing it through class work and assessment. By providing choices, I find that students are apt to focus more on the content and less on the method. The ultimate question I’m asking them to answer is “What do I know (or what have I learned) about this topic?” A student may do a better job of illustrating what s/he has learned rather than writing a descriptive paragraph. For family programming, the levels of projects also allow parents and children to work together on something slightly more sophisticated or nuanced than the child would undertake on his or her own.

I like setting up “centers” or “stations” for people to work at – it gives me an opportunity to locate several “quiet” activities near each other; to break the group into more manageable subgroups; and gives me a quick view of which activities seem to be attracting the most (or the least) participants. My personal preference is to provide one large block of time for “center work” and allow people to move through the activities at their own pace. For some groups, that sense of freedom translates into chaos – they do better with defined time blocks. In that case, it’s particularly crucial that I provide more than one activity per center, to accommodate those who work at a faster pace than others.

It is important, however, to have both a formal beginning as well as an ending to the program. During the beginning you can set the stage for the experiences the group will be having, and outline whatever specific parameters there may be. The ending provides a chance to summarize the learning as a whole group. Asking “What’s one thing you learned today” will result in more targeted responses than “Did you enjoy the program." I also use the final period as an opportunity to have participants fill out a brief (half-page) evaluation sheet consisting of the same questions I use in my own reflective exercises. I ask both students and parents to fill out an evaluation, with the only difference in the questions being the final one.

What did you learn today?
What worked particularly well?
What should we change next time?
Did your child participate the way you thought s/he would? OR Did you get to work with your parent the way you wanted to?

Organization helps make a program like this more successful. My next posting will contain some “tricks of the trade” I’ve learned along the way!

Shabbat Yitro

2009-02-15T08:00:00.004-05:00

A friend gave the d’var Torah this past week on the parshah Yitro/ Jethro. He made a number of good points. There were two that really resonated with me.

The context for the first was Yitro’s arrival at Moses’ tent. Moses was occupied with settling all the disagreements between the Israelites. Yitro – his father-in-law – arrives and sees Moses’ exhaustion and also the trouble brewing while the Israelites are waiting in line (in the heat) to speak to Moses. He offers Moses some unsolicited advice, which involves establishing a process in which disagreements are settled by judges appointed by Moses, with only those issues that cannot be resolved ultimately making their way through an appeals process to Moses.

My friend comments:

I believe there are a number of aspects in the way that Jethro counseled Moses that allowed Moses to make the right decision.

The first thing that Jethro did was to let Moses know he was advising him out of a sense of concern for Moses, his daughter and grandchildren and for all the people of Israel. Sometimes, when we are offered advice by others, we can become suspicious of their motives. Jethro never suggests that he should take on some of the burden off of Moses’ shoulders. Jethro doesn’t nominate himself or anyone else by name to fill the role of a judge.

Jethro never questions his son-in-law’s wisdom or his leadership abilities. Often, when we are given unsolicited advice, we can become defensive and look upon the advice offered as criticism.
Jethro tells his son-in-law that he should follow his advice only if G-d commands him to. Jethro understood that Moses had a very special relationship with G-d and that anything that Moses did or said was done with the guidance of G-d.

His comments made me wonder if I am as respectful when I offer unsolicited advice.

The second point my friend made discusses the juxtaposition in this parsha of Yitro offering unsolicted advice and the Israelites receiving the Ten Commandments at Mount Sinai.

He finishes his d'var Torah by saying:

To me, the one word that best sums up what happened at Mount Sinai is the word “miracle”. The transmission of the Ten Commandments not only changed the lives of all those who were physically there to witness it, not only did it have an impact on later generations of Jews that cannot be over-stated but it also represents one of the most important events in all of human history.

So, why is this incredible moment in the history of our people preceded by something as seemingly ordinary as a father-in-law offering advice to his son-in-law? I believe that the Torah is teaching us that we, as people, help to make miracles possible, in part, when we offer to help one another.

In other words, while G-d is entirely responsible for the miracles we read about in the Torah and for the miracles we have witnessed in every generation since then, we as humans are responsible for maintaining a world that is conducive to G-d’s miracles and blessings.

We are responsible for maintaining a world that is conducive to miracles and blessings. It's a powerful (and empowering) concept.

Shauvah tov - a good week.

Torah Study on Shabbat Bo

2009-01-30T08:00:00.005-05:00

I'm facilitating the weekly Torah Study session at Tikvat Israel this coming Shabbat. Here's an excerpt from what I'm planning:

A number of the commentators mentioned that this week’s selection includes the first mitzvot – commandments – that the Israelites received. Many focused on the new year – and compared it or contrasted it with the observance of Rosh Hashanah. Rabbi Ari Kahn from Aish adds another dimension to that discussion:

But there is more to this passage that makes it unique. For one, we might ask: Why was this the first commandment? Surely God had at least 613 other choices. Furthermore, why was this Commandment given in the land of Egypt? Why couldn't the Jews wait until Sinai?

[snip]

Rav Yosef Dov Soloveitchik, Zat"zal, explained why this commandment was given here, and now. The Jews in Egypt were slaves, and therefore lacked a sense of time. They needed to acquire a sense of time in order to be truly liberated, transformed from objects to independent people.

The last sentence is key. It is our ability to delineate time which gives us both the freedom and the responsibility to carve out meaningful lives for ourselves.

Jewish time is an interesting phenomenon: it’s both abstract and concrete. It’s concrete because it’s based on the cycles of the moon – the waxing and waning that occurs every month, on a predictable pattern. It’s abstract in that the days begin and end at different times, depending on the season and the latitude at which one lives. And it’s just plain confusing when we acknowledge that our days begin at sundown the night before. But even those abstract and confusing factors are abstract and confusing only because we spend much of our lives removed from the concreteness of the natural world in which we live.

The parshah goes on to specifically articulate the requirements for observing the Feast of Unleavened Bread. The verses outline when the holiday is to be celebrated, how it is to be observed, what work is permissible and what is not, and repeats three times that the Festival of Unleavened Bread shall be observed “as an institution for all time.” This specificity is in contrast to the more general directions of “observing and keeping holy” the Shabbat and refraining from all work. (Exodus 20:8-10).

Finally, I came across a commentary that helped me pull these disparate thoughts together:

Rabbi Stephen Baars, also on the Aish website, writes:

We Are What We Do
Sociology proclaims man to be a product of his environment. Judaism says man is a product of his actions.In this week's Parsha, there are 16 separate mitzvot concerning the Pesach holiday alone. All seem to have a similar purpose - to commemorate the Exodus from Egypt.

But the "Sefer HaChinuch" (14th century "Book of Mitzvah Education") deals with the Torah's seeming redundancy by clarifying a fundamental principle of Judaism... and indeed of life itself: "You should know that a person is influenced in accordance with his actions. His heart and all his thoughts are always drawn after the deeds in which he is occupied, whether they are good or bad."

Rabbi Bars continues:

Our nature, character, mood, disposition, temperament, attitude, and sensitivities are formed by our day-to-day activities. Of course, this "shaping" of our nature is not just affected by the actual actions of our job. It is also affected by what we do the remainder of the day as well! What books we read, if we exercise, how we drive, talk, eat... Every single action, in some very real way, affects the kind of person we are... just as the act of theft is what makes the criminal.

No action is irrelevant. They all change who we are, pulling the strings and levers of our emotions and thoughts. On some imperceptible level, every miniscule action affects different aspects of our nature - from our self-confidence to our peace of mind.

The influence of most actions are difficult (if not impossible) to detect. But anyone who cares about their character will investigate carefully the various values and influences of his actions.

Don't go through life unaware of how you are changing yourself. Start now on a course of self-awareness. Before you do any action, ask, "How will this affect me?" And after the action, ask again, "How did this affect me?"

These questions may not be easy, but they are entirely worthwhile. Because the one who practices them consistently will be, without a doubt, a more thinking, conscious and conscientious human being.

Ultimately, it may well be that it is this awareness, or mindfulness, of which Rabbi Bars writes which guides how well we integrate our Jewish time and our secular time.

Shabbat shalom.

Busy, Busy, Busy

2009-01-15T08:00:00.004-05:00

It's been a busy couple of weeks since I posted last. Here are some of the highlights:

There was a brief flurry of responses to getting our (Mitzvah Heroes Fund, Inc.) IRS approval as a 501(c)(3)...... I still need to get donation acknowledgements mailed out!
I did a workshop for a colleague on "Strategies for Teaching Students Who Learn Differently." It was great to be there with them, but our time was abridged and I didn't do such a great job of abbreviating my agenda, "while standing on one foot." I need to do some pre-emptive thinking for future workshops: What will I leave out if our time runs short?
I'm preparing a teaching session for a local day school on Martin Luther King, Jr. Day to teach about individuals who found themselves in the unanticipated position of protesting behavior, and whose actions caused significant change. Jewish values: b'tzelem elohim (all are created in the image of God) and ometz lev (courage of the heart). Add those thoughts to Margaret Mead's Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has and perhaps you'll see where I'm going!
I'm working on a workshop for this coming Sunday for a colleague on "Working with Parents." As I blogged earlier, Joel Lurie Grishaver's Working with Parents: A Teacher's Guide (Torah Aura, 1997) has been an invaluable resource for this type of workshop over the years. Carol Oseran Starin's Let Me Count the Ways, Vol 2 (again, Torah Aura, 2006) has some wonderful suggestions on how to deal with those particularly difficult parents we seem to encounter occasionally.
I'm also working on a regional program for fifth graders on tzedakah, called "Lev B'Lev /Heart to Heart".... doing the research to come up with the lessons so the teachers can set the stage with their students before our March program.
I'm planning a workshop with another colleague later this month on working with madrichim/teen aides....
With the resumption of classes after winter break, I've resumed my role as on-site midweek administrator for a local school ... and found myself testing Hebrew decoding yesterday! (Those of you who know me know that Hebrew language is NOT necessarily my strongest skill!!) But I was able to do the testing.... and more importantly, identify the areas of weakness.... and even still more importantly, propose a course of study/review for the students that need it. WOW - who would've thought?
I've begun to prep for a Family Tu B'shevat program in early February - we'll focus on bal tashchit (do not destroy) and shomrei adamah (guardianship of the earth).... I'm reading lots of blogs, doing lots of online research and beginning to map out a program that will be sufficiently substantive and engaging for kids and adults.
And I'm continuing to pull research and ideas together for a school I'm working with that has some children who present rather unique challenges... this one is going a little more slowly than anticipated.

And, in the meantime.... my mother's health is deteriorating rapidly and we're beginning to face some end-of-life issues and feelings.... a friend's daughter's been in and out of the hospital for medical stuff they're having trouble identifying... and my daughter had a week to leave a month early on her BirthRight trip to Israel! Instead of leaving in early February, she left yesterday.... you should have seen the scurrying in this house the last seven days. "Shabbat in Jerusalem twice, Mom" was her mantra.

So, like everyone else, things have been busy.

But this weekend, I'm taking a break and spending Shabbat on retreat with friends from a congregation where I worked for several years. The weather forecast is for frigid weather, but I've been assured I don't have to leave the lodge at all.... so I'm game! Good friends, good conversation, some quality davening /prayer, set in a place where I'll have no cell phone reception -- what could be better??

Shabbat shalom.

Mitzvah Heroes Fund

2008-12-31T11:38:00.006-05:00

What an exciting day yesterday was: after nine months of waiting and following up, The Mitzvah Heroes Fund received its final 501(c) (3) status from the IRS. All donations from the past as well as from this time forward are now fully deductible - we are now a designated "public charity" (their term, not ours). Our US IRS tax ID number is 26-1913966.

We began Mitzvah Heroes in an attempt to fill the gap left by the closing of the Ziv Tzedakah Fund last spring. In 9 months, just over $30,000 has made its way to the very deserving Mitzvah Heroes and their clients in the United States and Israel. We have and will continue to treat all donations and the recipients with the utmost of respect and dignity.

Steve, Bill and I (co-directors of the Mitzvah Heroes Fund, Inc) are conscious that economic times are difficult for many people, and there may be additional hesitation to make donations to Jewish organizations due to recent developments and investment dollars lost due to dishonest people and practices.

The Better Business Bureau recommends that you look for recipient organizations which use no more than 35% of the donations they receive for overhead, publicity, etc. Two recent articles (one by the Associated Press and one by the Boston Globe) indicate that even those guidelines aren't always followed.

All three of us volunteer our time (which helps keep our overhead low) and are able to pass on to our Mitzvah heroes between 95%-97.5% of the funds we receive. We support Mitzvah heroes and organizations with minimal overhead and bureaucratic structures, preferring most of your money to go to direct support of people in need.

We need your help:

If you're on Facebook, please join our group and suggest that your Facebook friends join our group.
Consider making a contribution (quick and easy with PayPal from our website WITH OR WITHOUT a PayPal account) to celebrate this milestone; $10.00 or $18.00 goes a long way and is not a small or trivial amount of money to the Mitzvah Heroes Fund (of the donations received this year, over 90% were under $110.00)
Tell your friends, Rabbis. Teachers, family (regardless of how young or old) about us and let them know that there are options and alternatives for their charitable dollars.
Remember us when you need to honor or remember someone at a simcha or somber occasion.

In the next month or two, we will send out our first Annual Report describing the people, organizations and programs that WE (you and us together) have supported in the past year. This not only shows who we support and why, but will also add to our transparency as we will show all monies received and how they were distributed. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO RECEIVE THE NEWSLETTER FROM MITZVAH HEROES, please click here and scroll down to the box on the left-hand side.

Finally, here's a link you may find of interest: Bill, Steve and I were recently inteviewed by a reporter from the Washington Jewish Week. Quite frankly - it was a lot of fun and we got to talk about some very neat Mitzvah heroes!

Wishing you a year filled with the joy of making a difference in the lives of others,

Mary

Tzedakah

2008-12-26T09:01:00.003-05:00

I’ve been spending a lot of time lately thinking about tzedakah. Often translated as “charity,” tzedakah really means "justice." It’s a mitzvah – a commandment, not at all voluntary. The concept of tzedakah often involves other Jewish concepts and middot or values:

gemilut chasadim – deeds of lovingkindness
kol israel areivim zeh ba'zeh - all of Israel is responsible for each other
tikkun olam – repair of the world
kavod – respect for people, human dignity

What triggered these thoughts – and their intensity? Several factors:

As you may or may not know, I am a co-director of the Mitzvah Heroes Fund, Inc. I’m the one who’s privileged to send out acknowledgement receipts to all our donors. Generally, I try to get the acknowledgements mailed within a couple of days of receiving the funds. Unfortunately, I’d fallen behind since early November. Each time I’d turn my computer on, a reminder would flash on my “To-do” list.

Mitzvah Heroes is very close to receiving notification of our approval as a 501(c)(3) organization. We’ve had “approval pending” on all our materials since March (our incorporation), but some donors are reluctant to donate until final approval is received. In light of the Madoff scandal, I can understand that sentiment. [The IRS does allow tax-deductions for contributions to “approval pending” organizations. Just thought you might like to know that!]

Mitzvah Heroes has also been involved in a couple of events recently. At one, we spoke to middle school aged day school students about the wide variety of tzedakah opportunities available and how to key their projects to their own interests.

In another setting, we were part of a Chanukah program. We spoke to fifth grade day school students about three Israeli “Mitzvah heroes” – organizations that make a big difference in people’s lives with very little bureaucratic process or overhead. We presented the students with a tzedakah challenge: If they organized a campaign to persuade lower school students to “vote” with their tzedakah which of the three recipients was the most deserving of funds, we would match their funds up to $180. The challenge could last only a week, because the following weekend, we had a courier leaving for Israel who could deliver the funds as allocated. We compared their collecting these funds to the purpose of the shamash/helper candle in the hanukiah/Chanukah menorah – they would be able to bring “light” to the recipients of their funds.

The students met our challenge – and exceeded it! In 5 days’ time, they raised $389 – of which we were able to match $274 ($180 plus money thrown in a pot at another engagement, plus tzedakah from my home, plus “found” money in an old wallet, plus…. you get the idea!) The money left for Israel on 12/21 and was distributed by the 24th. (I got a call on the 23rd, that they’d received an additional $27.35 – could we please pick it up? Of course I said “absolutely!”) Over $250 consisted of coins. Little donations that, when added to other little donations, made a big difference.

Our final MHF event of the month occurred in the middle of the Tzedakah Challenge Campaign. We set up a table at a Chanukah Fair at a nursing home. We had materials displayed from a number of the Mitzvah heroes we support and had the opportunity to talk tzedakah, mitzvot, and heroes with many of the residents, the chaplain, and guest speaker Danny Siegel, Mitzvah maven extraordinaire. It was a wonderful place to spend a day. We collected $70 that people added to the pot, if they wished (which we used to apply as matching funds for the Tzedakah Challenge). The atmosphere in the home that day was one of gentle kavod demonstrated towards the residents. It soothed my soul to see the respect with which they were treated and their delight in their ability to share their memories. I left feeling nurtured.

In addition to the above, I’ve also been asked to design an educational learning program for fifth grade students in our region on tzedakah. I’ve been grappling with what specific concepts we wanted to teach, in addition to which strategies we’ll employ, and which organizations we’d like to ask to participate. Yesterday, the pieces finally came together.
Our three key concepts will focus on the following:

*Maimonides’ 8 Levels of Tzedakah

*Universalism vs. Particularism in making donations

From Seder Eliyahu Rabbah, “If a person has food in his home, and wishes to
perform an act of tzedakah with it, first he must sustain his father and
mother; if there is anything remaining he should sustain his brothers and
sisters; after that the other members of his household; after that, other
members of his family; after that, those who dwell in his immediate area;
after that, those who dwell in the neighborhood; from then on, he may
increase his benevolence among the Jewish people.”

*Due Diligence in checking out recipient organizations -- see Smart Tzedakah

A person should not contribute to a tzedakah fund unless he knows its
management is reliable and knows how to conduct the fund properly. (Yoreh Deah
249:7)

If you haven’t yet made your final allocations for the current secular year – please do so. In today’s tight economic times, your pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters, and dollars are needed now more than ever.

Mid-Year Reflections

2008-12-12T14:24:00.003-05:00

Six months ago, I engaged in reflective practice at the end of my first year as a “Jewish Educational Consultant.” At that time, I articulated some things I would “do differently” in this coming year. It’s worth taking a mid-year look and see how things stand at the mid-point of the year. Let’s see now:

I’ve decided to build in structured time to stay on top of the logistics involved in running a business. 9 AM on Monday mornings didn’t work. Well I structured a different time and day in, but I’m still not REALLY doing this. Time to think about new options:

maybe asking a friend to help with the accounting piece (?Do I really want someone else getting in to my financial stuff? What would be the emotional cost of having a friend involved?)
maybe working with an acquaintance who’s a life counselor (?Maybe I need to be accountable – sorry for the pun – to someone else?);
maybe just quit messing around and do it?

On the positive side, I’ve set up a separate calendar on my PDA for invoicing purposes; all my receipts are in one drawer (even if they’re not entered into Quicken), and I’ve learned to cross reference invoices and checks received.

I’ll set up a process for new clients, so I can track whether I’ve opened a file or begun a project without forgetting any details. I’ve made some (small) progress here by setting up separate “binders” in my OneNote program – it enables me to save notes from phone calls, emails and download research directly from the Internet and save it.

I’ll revise the curriculum and materials for the long-term teacher training classes I’m running AND have them ready to go before the first class. DONE! – but the classes were cancelled because we didn’t have the enrollment the grantor required.

I’ll review and assess the format I use in other workshops, in order to model how one can teach to different learning styles. I’ve begun to do this – repackaging some of the workshops I’ve done in the past; using some new technology. It's actually been kind of fun!

I’ll look for a few other consultants here in the area to network with on a regular basis – for support, brainstorming, and collegiality. This I HAVE done – I’m now meeting/talking semi-regularly with three separate colleagues. It’s good to be able to bounce ideas around and to get energized when I hear what others are doing.

I’ll update and expand my website to more accurately reflect Morah Mary Consulting. I did revise the website this summer and even signed up for a search engine enhancement… BUT I didn’t follow through with the suggestions resulting from the analysis. It’s on my to-do list for this winter break.

Okay – what are some other things I’ve been involved in that weren’t on that list:

Pro-bono work – I’m working with a group that was in a period of crisis this summer, guiding them through the process of visioning and then articulating what they’re looking for in a new director.

Tzedakah work – As a co-director of Mitzvah Heroes Fund, we’ve watched our Fund collect and distribute over $30,000 in less than 9 months. We’re well on our way to getting our IRS 501(c)(3) status approved. In the last week, with a co-director, we’ve presented programs to two separate groups in this area.

Personal – as a personal tzedakah project, I knit scarves for homeless men and women who are sheltered by an interfaith group of religious institutions in Howard and Prince George’s counties in Maryland. One of the participating institutions is Oseh Shalom, where I worked for four years. It’s been my custom to knit scarves for the guests to have during the weeks they are housed at Oseh. So far, I’ve completed 18 men’s scarves and 3 women’s scarves. My goal is 2 dozen men’s scarves and 18 women’s scarves. The first guests will arrive at Oseh at the end of January. I’ve got a little time left – but not too much!

Personal study – With a friend and fellow-congregant, I’m co-chairing the weekly Torah study sessions at our synagogue, Tikvat Israel. Our primary job is to organize things so that each week someone leads the discussion on the Torah portion. It’s been fun…. but I’m thinking maybe it’s time for me to volunteer to lead another session – I haven’t done that since before Rosh Hashanah.

More reflection later – I’m “reflected out” right now!

Shabbat shalom.

Facilitating Group Dynamics

2008-12-05T08:08:00.003-05:00

I did a couple of workshops for our local Education Day last month. Our individual workshop topics are often (intentionally) broad and designed to attract a wide number and variety of participants. It’s always a challenge to figure out how to convey the most amount of information in a very short period of time.

On the one hand, we’d like to be able to model good teaching strategies and involve our participants as much as possible. On the other, often the quickest way to present information is by using a frontal/lecture approach. And this year, we were given the added challenge: “Make your workshops work for both classroom teachers and youth group workers.” Both are teachers of Jewish kids – one in a formal educational setting; the other in an informal educational setting. My specific charge from the planning committee was – “Do something on classroom management.”

Several of us brainstormed ideas for workshop names (that’s not one of my strong points: naming things) and came up with one in time for the deadline: Facilitating Group Dynamics: Providing a Safe Structure for All Participants

In the past when I’ve taught mixed groups (classroom teachers and youth group workers), I’ve done my same-old-same-old, just periodically remembering to add, “Oh, this works in a youth group setting, too, by the way. All you have to do is….”

I decided this time, if I was going to model how to include both types of learners, I had to use language that 1) was intentionally exclusive; 2) flowed easily; and 3) really was applicable for both situations.

It was harder than I thought it would be.

I could easily identify which words I wanted to remove from my presentation: teacher, student, classroom, texts, principal/ed director, class. I wasn’t so sure what I would substitute – or how I could make the language flow easily instead of awkwardly. I played with a lot of phrases in my mind and was beginning to panic, when I reread the subtitle one more time: Providing a Safe Structure … The light bulb went on: STRUCTURE!

And so, I built an analogy between the structure necessary in order to allow for positive group dynamics in a safe, protected environment….and building a house! Here are some of the comparisons I made:

Examine your site => find out about your setting
Consult an architect => check in with your program director
Subcontract, if necessary => know who your resource people are
Build your foundation => identify the key values that will guide your work

In total, I outlined 13 steps, ending with “Give them the keys/Empower group members to be responsible for implementation.”

It ended up being great fun to prepare for the workshop – and the group that participated in the workshop really got into it. One of the best discussions ever! Here are links to .pdf files of both the PowerPoint and the Participant Workbook. Enjoy!

Torah Study on Toldot

2008-11-30T11:59:00.004-05:00

Our synagogue, Tikvat Israel, has had a weekly, lay-led Torah study session since the beginning of the cycle last fall. Individuals volunteer to lead a Torah discussion on the weekly portion. Discussions are held after the kiddush. People are welcome to daven together at services and stay for the study; to come just for study; or any combination of the above. We've always had at least a minyan (10 participants) and frequently have between 18-24 people.

Because each of us brings his/her unique perspective to the table, the insights and discussion are often wide-ranging and frequently provide “food for thought” during the coming week. The internet facilitates our study by allowing us to “hear” the ideas of people from around the world. This past week’s Torah portion was Toldot – the story of Isaac, Rebekah, Jacob and Esau.

Our leader this week was a knowledgeable colleague who works with young children and their families. She particularly likes the stories in Beresheit/Genesis because they’re great stories—filled with insights into family dynamics and interpersonal relationships. The discussion she led yesterday focused on the relationship between Isaac and Rebekah – their playfulness with and attraction to each other early on in their story and the silence between them as their sons grow into adulthood.

As she was guiding the discussion, asking questions and sharing her own, she read the following from Rabbi Yaakov Asher Sinclair from Ohr Sameach, a yeshiva in Israel where her son is studying.

In this weeks Torah portion, Eisav returns home so ravenous after his work that he sells his birthright for a bowl of lentils. In fact, he is so consumed by his desire for food that he doesn’t even describe the lentils by name. He merely says to Yaakov "Pour into me, now, some of that red red" (25:30) English translators usually append a noun to the adjectives, such as "that red stuff," but in Hebrew there is no noun, there are just two adjectives one following the other. In Hebrew, a noun is called shem etzem, meaning "the name of the essence", the thing itself. An adjective is a shem toar, "a name of description." When our physical desires lead us to mistake appearance for essence, when we exchange a world of nouns for a world of adjectives, when style dominates meaning, then we have truly lost our birthright.

“Stop,” I interjected. “Can you read that again more slowly?” She agreed. Here’s the part that jumped out at me:

In Hebrew, a noun is called shem etzem, meaning "the name of the essence", the thing itself. An adjective is a shem toar, "a name of description." When our physical desires lead us to mistake appearance for essence, when we exchange a world of nouns for a world of adjectives, when style dominates meaning, then we have truly lost our birthright.

There's really nothing left to add, is there?

Shavuah tov/a good week.

On a High

2008-11-21T16:41:00.004-05:00

I’m ending the week on a high…educationally speaking.

With a colleague, I’ve been facilitating/teaching a group of 15 for-the-most-part beginning religious school teachers.

We’ve met five times since the September, for slightly less than two hours each time. We’re a diverse group – some younger, some older; some still in college, many working first jobs; some Israeli, some Americans; some working with early childhood students, some with older students.

My colleague and I have tried to expose them to a variety of topics. We’ve tried to make our sessions interactive, modeling our belief that all teachers need to teach to a variety of learning styles. (Sometimes we've been more successful than others!) The topics we’ve touched on include the following:

Jewish identification
Challenges and Opportunities in Supplemental Education
Jewish Values Guiding Our Teaching
Multiple Intelligences
Big Ideas/Goals/Objectives/Learning Activities
Working in Small Groups
Auditory/Visual/Kinesthetic Learning Styles
Gender Bias
Centers and Center-Type Activities
Graphic Organizers
Cooperative Learning Techniques
Strategies to Build Energy in the Classroom
Classroom Management “On One Foot”

All of which have been undergirded by reflective practice – what worked and why? What didn’t work and why not? What should we change next time?

This past week, participants in the course began to “present” – sharing a 20 minute lesson they’d taught recently. The assignment outline asked

how the lesson fit with the “Big Idea” for their class this year;
strategies they used;
complications they encountered;
evidence of learning – how they knew the students learned what they taught;
their assessment of the lesson; and
what they would change next time.

In a little more than an hour, seven participants shared their lessons with the rest of the group. My colleague and I kept our comments to a minimum and invited the rest of the group to ask questions of the presenters and comment on what they had heard.

Later that week – we kvelled.

What we heard were participants who demonstrated their clear understanding of key concepts: big idea, goals, different learning strategies, assessment of student learning, and assessment of their own experience.

What we heard were colleagues who were supportive and encouraging – not afraid to compliment or to question.

What we heard were participants who are so student-focused already that they were able to adapt the plan to fit unanticipated changes.

What we heard were colleagues who are able to show how their teaching builds on the teaching done by another participant.

What we saw were participants whose eyes lit up as they talked about key values and their students.

What we saw were eyes seeking out colleagues when participants were urged to “identify someone you work with who can help you brainstorm” when specific situations would occur.

What we saw are teachers who can laugh at themselves and genuinely funny things that happen when they work together or with students.

What we know is that this group of people is now

a) a community
b) a community of learners
c) a community of learners who will pass that love of community and learning on to their students.

Is it any wonder I’m on a “high” today?

Shabbat shalom.

Being a Fly on the Wall

2008-11-08T08:29:00.006-05:00

In the past month, I've found myself doing a lot of teacher observations, at a variety of schools. It seems that's one of the things I do best!

In most cases, I'm met with some degree of hesitation, if not outright defensiveness. Part of my job -- as I see it, then -- becomes the challenge of getting past the hesitation/defensiveness before I leave the classroom. It's not always easy.

I walked into one classroom recently, where the teacher met me with a certain amount of resistance. She said, "I'm not even sure why you’re here." I THOUGHT "Oh boy!" but I SAID, "To help you become a better teacher." "Well, if that were true," she retorted, "you would come back after school one day during the week. That's when I really have problems!" Before I left the building that day, I did two things:

I spoke to her supervisor and we rescheduled another time -- of the teacher's choice -- for me to return.
I mentioned what a great activity she had planned and that I was looking forward to hearing how it played out.

That second visit went much better – the teacher greeted me with a big smile; when asked by a student about my presence in the room, she explained, “She’s a teacher of teachers and she’s helping me.”

The lesson moved logically from one activity to another; she used her madrikh in a substantive way, as a co-teacher working with a small group (after ensuring he knew what she was looking for); for the most part, the majority of students stayed on task most of the class period. The “problem?” One table of students who were loud, impulsive, and whose noise made it difficult for other students to make progress.

She had a couple of minutes between sessions, so I spent the majority of that time articulating examples of good teaching. We ended with – “There’s really only one problem I see.” She knew immediately what I was talking about and said she’s often told them she’s going to separate them. I suggested she stop threatening and just do it. The need for students to have friends to be with in religious school had been the value she was holding dear. But she realized that it was having a negative effect on the rest of the class, so we talked about other values and I made some suggestions of how to proceed with these changes.

I then went home, wrote everything up (setting, observations of class dynamics, evaluation, suggestions for improvement, and an end note), sent it to her supervisor and asked her to send it directly on to the teacher involved.

So what’s the learning in this experience for me?

It really helps if the teacher knows that an observation is planned.
It also helps if the teacher knows that my job is to help them become more effective.
It is just as important for positive interactions/dynamics to be noted as the negative ones.
Sometimes, the observer notices things (behavior triggers) that the teacher doesn’t. Those observations can be helpful to the teacher.
Sometimes, the observer may pick up on student behavior that merits a closer look.
The sandwich approach still works: good news – bad news – good news (or strengths—weaknesses-strengths).
When giving suggestions to modify a teacher’s classroom behavior, it helps to explain “why” the change should improve the situation.
When giving more than two suggestions, I’ll often make a list of five or six. Sometimes I’ll pick one from the list, if I think it’s really crucial, and I’ll ask the teacher to pick another suggestion from the list. I’ll ask the teacher to work on those two until they become more comfortable ways to operate. Then I’ll ask them to go back to the list and pick two more! This provides them with the opportunity to structure their own learning – and acknowledges that we all have different priorities. It can also help them set goals for themselves.

I left the room, feeling as if we (the teacher and I) had begun to establish a positive working relationship. We'll see how it plays out!

Missing Ellie

2008-10-30T21:48:00.003-04:00

Today would have been my sister Ellen's 48th birthday. She died one August day, twelve years ago, of Crohn's Disease.

According to Jewish custom, we're supposed to remember our loved ones on the anniversary of their death (their yahrzeit date). But we were on vacation when she died and I have trouble remembering the exact date. Besides, Ellie wasn't Jewish... so somehow remembering her on her birthday "works for me."

Ellie was seven years younger than I - in many ways, she was my "first child." I loved her, cared for her, changed her diaper, encouraged her to walk, taught her to say "Mama" and "Dada" -- and when the time came, took a deep breath and talked with her about the "facts of life." (One of the most awkward and uncomfortable discussions of my life! Poor Ellie, I'm sure I embarrassed her greatly!)

Her illness was a long and ugly one - we figured later she'd probably been sick for almost 20 years when she died. It deprived her of many experiences. But she was funny and clever and remarkably bright. The world is diminished by her absence.

She lived with us while I was pregnant with our second child and on total bedrest. Our son, who was two and a half at that time, loved his Aunt Ellie as only a young child can - with every fiber of his body. When our daughter was born, Aunt Ellie delighted in holding this newborn on her lap and quickly figured out how to make the baby stop crying. She never quite mastered the trick of changing diapers, though!

Some years, the remembering has been more difficult than in other years. This year, it's been hard. My mother is not well. The current economic crisis reminds me of my family's economic crisis around the time that Ellie was born, shortly after my father had lost his job. And even the weather this past week has been more typical of mid-state Wisconsin weather in late October than typical Maryland weather this time of year.

There is a reading from the Yizkor service which has always been a comfort to me.

At the rising of the sun and at its going down,
we remember them.

At the blowing of the wind and in the chill of winter,
we remember them.

At the shining of the sun and in the warmth of summer,
we remember them.

At the rustling of the leaves and in the beauty of autumn,
we remember them.

At the beginning of the year and at its end,
we remember them.

As long as we live, they too will live;
for they are now a part of us,
as we remember them.

When we are weary and in need of strength,
we remember them.

When we are lost and sick at heart,
we remember them.

Where we have joy we crave to share,
we remember them.

When we have decisions that are difficult to make,
we remember them.

When we have achievements that are based on theirs,
we remember them.

At long as we live, they too will live;
for they are now a part of us,
as we remember them.

May her memory be for a blessing.

Maybe It's Not A Totally Lost Cause?

2008-10-24T08:30:00.002-04:00

I may have blogged a little too quickly yesterday, about the two courses being cancelled due to under-enrollment.

In separate conversations with educators in both Virginia and Maryland, we were able to do some out-of-the-box thinking about other approaches that may work.

One colleague suggested front-loading the training next year, during school sessions. It would mean his teachers wouldn't necessarily have madrichim the first couple of weeks of school, but it would allow the participants to be trained during their already-committed time.

Another colleague suggested offering the course weekly during second semester, instead of spreading it out over the entire year. The compressed time might work easier for participants.

Another idea that surfaced was the possibility of a weekend retreat at the beginning, followed by intermittent "check-ins."

So maybe it's not a lost cause.... Sounds like a brainstorming session might be in the works for after our community-wide Education Day in early November.

I'm feeling better....

A Major Disappointment

2008-10-22T09:34:00.003-04:00

I blogged earlier (this summer) about the class for 11th and 12th graders that I was looking forward to teaching this year – the one for kids who thought they want to be religious school teachers. I had decided to change the structure of the class to one that would include a “lab” portion each week. I thoroughly enjoyed the time I spent working up a Scope and Sequence, defining a Mission Statement and looking for materials that would work in the “lab.”

We had hoped to offer two sessions – one in Maryland and one in Virginia. Dates and times were chosen. The syllabus was finalized. A grant was applied for and received.

Unfortunately, neither location has had sufficient enrollment to allow us to offer the classes. I’m not quite sure why, but I suspect that we didn’t do an adequate job of marketing the programs and the recent sudden economic downturn has people apprehensive about spending additional monies. The ultimate reason, I know, could be that teens just aren’t interested. I’ll have to post the “official” cancellation notice tomorrow for both programs. ::sigh::

I still think it’s a good program; I still think there’s a community need for programs like this. It just may not be the right time.

I am very disappointed.

A New Insight

2008-10-10T08:00:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, when I least expect it, I run into some information that causes me to re-examine what I thought I knew.

A SCENE FROM THE PAST: At a school I directed for a number of years, we had a high percentage of students who had a variety of learning disabilities. We also had several – eight to be exact – students who had either autism or asperger’s syndrome. We – the students, teachers, parents and I – worked to find ways to involve our students in authentic learning and community experiences. Sometimes we had more success than others.

There was an older student in our program, one who was bright, articulate, curious, fond of routines and a lover of predictability: a student who thrived when he knew exactly what to expect; and who was rattled when others couldn’t “see” what he “saw” in a discussion. Situations in which there was more than one right answer were difficult for him to cope with – or comprehend. As he entered seventh grade, we found the social piece was becoming increasingly difficult and causing pain to him, to his classmates, and to his teacher.

After one particularly distressing day, Mom and I spoke about possible alternatives. We had an existing HomeSchool program at that time and Mom requested that he be allowed to participate in the HomeSchooling program. Social interactions, she pointed out, were a stumbling block for him across the board, in every setting he found himself. He wanted to learn – was eager to pursue advanced studies. We’d tried, she said, to make the traditional setting work. Maybe it was time to try something else.

After discussion with the student, with Mom, with the teacher and the Rabbi, we all agreed it was a viable alternative. I agreed to work up an accelerated course of study designed to challenge him well beyond what we were able to do in class. I spent time in transition discussions with both the family and the class he was leaving behind.

HomeSchooling worked – for about three weeks.

Then Mom called and asked if I could meet with her and the student. The student told me he was learning a lot, but that there was something missing: a learning community. Even though he’d had problems in class and with the other students, he missed being with them and hearing their ideas. He asked if he could come back to class. I reminded him that the class wouldn’t be able to move at the accelerated pace – he understood that. And that there were going to be times when he disagreed with others – and I expected him to remain in control of his temper. He agreed to do that.

So I began to do some scripting, both with him individually and with the class collectively. I told them how I expected them to greet each other; what words they could use to disagree (respectfully) with each other; and specifically how to stop pushing each other’s buttons. We also provided a couple of safety nets for the more volatile participants.

As things settled in, the Rabbi and I conferred. I expressed how incredulous I’d felt when the student said he missed being with the class, even though it was hard for him. I remember saying, “All the literature tells us that Asperger’s kids prefer to work along – they don’t want to be in groups working.” The Rabbi listened. “Perhaps,” he said, “the literature is wrong. And maybe these kids fit in when the community can accept them.”

FAST FORWARD: Last week, rushing through the grocery store, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a book: Look Me in The Eye (John Elder Robison). I stopped in my tracks.

How often had I said that to students, until I learned that for some students, eye contact makes it impossible for them to share their thoughts?

I reached for the book and read the subtitle: “My life with Asperger’s.” I read it through in two days, unable to put it down.

On page 211, John Elder Robison writes:

Many discriptions of autism and Asperger’s describe people like me as “not wanting contact with others” or “preferring to play alone.” I can’t speak for other kids, but I’d like to be very clear about my own feelings: I did not ever want to be alone. And all those child psychologists who said “John prefers to play by himself” were dead wrong. I played by myself because I was a failure at playing with others. I was alone as a result of my own limitations, and being alone was one of the bitterest disappointments of my young life.

I am very grateful that my former student felt safe enough to approach his Mom and me about re-entering the classroom. I am very grateful that I had the sense to LISTEN to what he was saying. I am very grateful that I was able to pull out specific words and phrases to teach this group of young men and women not only what to say, but how to say it. I am very grateful to the other students in the class who were able to rise to the occasion. And, I'm very grateful that I was able to discount what "all the literature said" and regard my student as a unique individual.

It ended up being a good year.

Morah Mary's Musings

The REAL Questions We Should Be Asking

Empowering Teens

Do Small Things

Establishing A Madrichim Program

Relationships

Sh-e-e-e-e's B-a-a-a-ck!

Shabbat Veyetze

Shabbat Noach

Book Review: Toolbox for Teachers and Mentors

End-of-the-Holidays: A Look Ahead

End-of-the-Holidays: Reflections on the Past

Teaching YK - to First Graders????

Reflections of This High Holiday Season

Get Set....

On Your Mark...

Update: The Chesed Center

The Chesed Center

Totally Random, Disconnected Musings About Israel

If I Could Have One Wish

JNF's New "Big Blue Box"

Pluralism in Israel?

"Put It on Pause!"

S'derot: The City That Survives

Shabbat Shalom - from Home

A New State in an Ancient Land

Our Last Day

History - and Making History!

Museums + Shopping + Beach = Tel Aviv!

*NOW* I Understand....

Shabbat - A Time for Reflection

Our Friday Experiences

Thursday Afternoon

Thursday Morning

We're Here!

It WAS a Busy Week

Usually the Summer is Quiet....

STW: Professional Implications

STW: Personal Reaction - Part 2

Schools That Work: Personal Reaction

Ahavat Olam

Baruch Dayan HaEmet

Schools That Work: Enabling Factors Graphic

Challenges Faced By STW: The Graphic

Challenges Faced by Schools That Work

Characteristics of STW: The Graphic

Characteristics of Schools That Work

Schools That Work

How Important is a Sense of Belonging?

Update - Take 2

Update on the "Wanna-Be's"

A New Group of "Wanna-Be's"

Liberating Oneself

Appreciating

Questioning

Remembering

Pesach: Putting Ourselves Into the Story

The Four Generations

Pesach is Coming!

Changes in How I Teach About Israel

Lev B'Lev - Reflections

Lev B'Lev - Programming

Lev B'Lev - Key Concepts

Pearls from Pain

"Tricks of the Trade"

Family Programs

Shabbat Yitro

Torah Study on Shabbat Bo

Busy, Busy, Busy

Mitzvah Heroes Fund

Tzedakah

Mid-Year Reflections

Facilitating Group Dynamics

Torah Study on Toldot

On a High

Being a Fly on the Wall

Missing Ellie

Maybe It's Not A Totally Lost Cause?

A Major Disappointment

A New Insight

NOW I Understand....